tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post115751359325241388..comments2023-07-01T07:31:28.450-06:00Comments on LDS Publisher: Opening Paragraph #4LDS_Publisherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15053645600240124892noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-1158000368494795682006-09-11T12:46:00.000-06:002006-09-11T12:46:00.000-06:00I loved the way the tension was mixed at the end w...I loved the way the tension was mixed at the end with the 'stupid, stupid, stupid!' comment. It made me smile and think, 'hey...I could enjoy reading more from this author.' The author was able to put a very human reaction into the situation and make Jen seem more, well...human, human, human. :) Anyone who can mix humanity/humor with tension gets my vote. I vote for this one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-1158000032304180062006-09-11T12:40:00.000-06:002006-09-11T12:40:00.000-06:00Oh, I don't know. I find that the sentence fragmen...Oh, I don't know. I find that the sentence fragments help create an atmosphere of action. It jumps around and creates tension. <BR/><BR/>One might ask why she looks for her cellphone first - doesn't everyone have a phone in the bedroom?<BR/><BR/>I'll put in a vote for this one, it has promise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-1157551086912774352006-09-06T07:58:00.000-06:002006-09-06T07:58:00.000-06:00This one has too many exclaimation points for me. ...This one has too many exclaimation points for me. And I had to ask myself why she would turn on her bedroom light if she knew someone had just broken into her house. Doesn't that make her an easy target? Could be the beginning of an interesting suspense novel, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com