tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post3719466367460850653..comments2023-07-01T07:31:28.450-06:00Comments on LDS Publisher: 15 Foreign ExchangeLDS_Publisherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15053645600240124892noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-72106190789122229542011-10-04T14:27:00.776-06:002011-10-04T14:27:00.776-06:00Thanks for your votes and comments!Thanks for your votes and comments!~T~https://www.blogger.com/profile/17969562036638831748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-3901672476688229712011-10-02T22:56:52.746-06:002011-10-02T22:56:52.746-06:00I think it was a mistake for the rules to allow an...I think it was a mistake for the rules to allow anonymous voting. This is far superior to Savannah's Christmas Miracles. Thoughtful reader did an excellent critique. Need to give us an age for the MC and adjust his POV accordingly. I think I was 12 the last time I played with a doll, knowing I was too old. So maybe 14 to play with cars in hiding? And one sentence would have transitioned, ie. Later, we all piled into the car for . . . Overall, this one has a humorous voice and a ring of authenticity to make its sugar seem real, not saccharine. So, I am voting for this one.Sher A. Harthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03067955594103356768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-68789435817025286262011-09-29T18:36:14.919-06:002011-09-29T18:36:14.919-06:00Voting for this one. Love this story, very well wr...Voting for this one. Love this story, very well written and a great ending!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-71807424481480170682011-09-28T20:37:49.552-06:002011-09-28T20:37:49.552-06:00Vote!
One thing that keeps drawing me back to the...Vote!<br /><br />One thing that keeps drawing me back to the story is how LDS it is. I'm not saying I expect all the stories to mention the Book of Mormon, but I really like that this one does. I really want it to be a true story, and that's usually a pretty good sign in the fiction world.Thoughtful Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-38245223740000577312011-09-28T09:53:47.396-06:002011-09-28T09:53:47.396-06:00I vote for this oneI vote for this oneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-52348812726312652862011-09-27T15:54:40.665-06:002011-09-27T15:54:40.665-06:00I vote for this one.I vote for this one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-43774496590576206832011-09-26T19:52:41.949-06:002011-09-26T19:52:41.949-06:00I vote for this one, too. I really enjoyed it.I vote for this one, too. I really enjoyed it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-78829152050212222302011-09-26T19:01:21.683-06:002011-09-26T19:01:21.683-06:00What a neat voice. I LOVE the third paragraph.
I ...What a neat voice. I LOVE the third paragraph.<br /><br />I do have a hard time placing the age of the main character. The details that he pays attention to at the beginning seem too adult for a little boy who still likes to play with toy cars. But if he is pretty young it excuses the P.C. faux pas of calling Rolf stinky.<br /><br />The flashback in the middle of the story probably needs to be sandwiched with some more transition. Especially with the story being in first-person, there should be a reason why the main character is thinking about the past history of Rolf being in their family. Right now the flashback seems pretty random, but I like how the opening scene is very interesting.<br /><br />Overall, the story feels like a little too good to be true, but it's very nice. One thing I missed at the end is the point-of-view character's voice. How is he responding to the miracle that happened? I want to see some change in him. Instead he just turns into the third-person narrator.<br /><br />Very nice story though!Thoughtful Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-1319130910126470302011-09-26T19:00:52.809-06:002011-09-26T19:00:52.809-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.Jennifer Rickshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16893901588875111664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-3129560747134732682011-09-26T08:15:53.394-06:002011-09-26T08:15:53.394-06:00I vote for this oneI vote for this oneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com