tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post8373413933767490192..comments2023-07-01T07:31:28.450-06:00Comments on LDS Publisher: 7: Father's SwordLDS_Publisherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15053645600240124892noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-47390318589074845032010-03-22T06:44:10.480-06:002010-03-22T06:44:10.480-06:00I like this post. such a very informative thanks f...I like this post. such a very informative thanks for sharing with s...Cosplay Swordshttp://www.swordsswords.com/Training-Equipment.aspxnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-15345179517721573472010-03-02T21:05:22.147-07:002010-03-02T21:05:22.147-07:00This is my story so I will make a few comments abo...This is my story so I will make a few comments about the story and about the comments. First of all, others have also said they find my point of view shifts difficult to deal with. I'll have to work on that. I found the comment about the dream sequence interesting. Interesting to me because it was not my intention for the portion of the story reference to come off as a dream sequence. Again, something else I must work on. <br /><br />I wanted the central theme of this story to be a father's commitment to the gospel and Savior and for his son, while having questions, to see that and respond to it in some way. The fact that his choose to follow a similar path was the author's choice in this story. Many sons did not follow in their father's paths. In the Book of Mormon violence is as central a theme as the gospel and that is why it was in my story. So, my apologies. I will also work on transitions from scene to scene. <br /><br />I'm looking forward to the blog owner's comments. They're very helpful if you take them seriously. Thank you everyone who read the story and thank you, Emily M and Th. for your comments.<br /><br />CharlieCharlie Moorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09650519124948533925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-6665146685270631442010-02-27T23:16:43.100-07:002010-02-27T23:16:43.100-07:00.
Sorry----
That last comment was mine..<br /><br />Sorry----<br /><br />That last comment was mine.Th.http://thmazing.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-87811794362905568452010-02-27T23:16:21.586-07:002010-02-27T23:16:21.586-07:00.
The deliberate syntax and violent pov swaps mad....<br /><br />The deliberate syntax and violent pov swaps made this hard to follow. I needed more significantly different voices and perhaps a typographical mark between pov switches.Lady Steedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12439183959591664777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25573541.post-39715986092910676172010-02-22T21:53:22.543-07:002010-02-22T21:53:22.543-07:00I think the motif of son wanting to follow father ...I think the motif of son wanting to follow father is a classic and important one, and this story does a good job at exploring that. <br /><br />The point of view shifts were jarring to me a little, though, especially the dream sequence. A transition to that epiphany would have been helpful for me.<br /><br />I also felt like when the story was in Kelihah's voice, it felt a little young for a teenage audience, more like a child than a teenager. <br /><br />I think there were so many Book of Mormon fathers who died and left orphans--it's great to think about the story of what might have happened to those children, who kept the faith in spite of not having a father.Emily M.noreply@blogger.com