LDS Publisher

Upcoming Events

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Starting a new feature to replace the old Events & Contests blog. The last Friday of the month, I'll post calls for submissions and writing conferences. No more give-away feature or book signings.

If you know of a writing conference in your area or an open call for submissions that would would be of interest to LDS writers, please email the information and link(s) to me as soon as possible so they can be included in this monthly post.

Call for Sumissions

Marrying a Widower: Deadline February 15, 2012
Real life stories on life with a widower. Submissions should be 250-750 words.
More info at: www.abelkeogh.com

Writing For Charity: Deadline February 19, 2012
Short stories based on or inspired by the fairy tale of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. 7500 words or less. More info at: www.ericjamesstone.com

Writing Conferences

Life, the Universe & Everything (LTUE), February 9-11, 2012
Utah Valley University, Orem, UT.
More info at: www.ltue.org

ANWA Conference, February 23-25, 2012
Mesa Hilton Hotel, Mesa, AZ
More info at: http://anwawritersconference.com/

Teen Author Book Camp, March 10, 2012
Utah Valley University, Orem, UT. Teens only.
More info at: http://teenauthorbootcamp.com/

LDStorymakers, May 4-5, 2012
Provo Marriott Hotel, Provo, UT.
More info at: http://ldstorymakers.com

Creating a Character’s Backstory Part 2 by Rebecca Talley

2012-01-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Understanding a character’s backstory will have a dramatic impact on your novel. If you don’t understand, or take the time to investigate, your character’s backstory, your story will suffer and your characters will feel more like cardboard stereotypes than living, breathing people.

What are some ways to create the backstory?

Narrative. You can write out the major events in the character’s life in the form of a narrative. You can add different details, bits of conversation, and a description of the events that have shaped your character. Keep your narrative to 1-3 pages—more for the major characters and less for the minor ones.

Interview. You can conduct an interview with your character. Ask whatever question pops into your mind and then write down the answer. Use each answer as a springboard for the next question. You may be surprised at some of your character’s answers.

List. You can list the events chronologically with a short description of how each event affected your character. Lists are easy to scan for the details you need to form your character’s backstory.

Web. You can write your character’s name in the middle of the paper and then write events around the name. You can then connect feelings, descriptions, and/or reactions to those events so that you eventually end up with a document that resembles a spider web.

Visual. Cut out magazine photos to represent events and then write a description of how this affected your character. Use active words to describe your character’s reactions.

The purpose of creating a backstory is to help you understand what motivates your character. You want your character to react realistically to your plot events and you want readers to believe that your character acts realistically within the story.

If your character is presented with the news that her father has died how will she react? Will she breakdown into tears? Shrug? Be happy? Sink into depression? Feel guilty? It all depends on the backstory you’ve created for her. While you won’t include all the details of the character’s backstory, you will need to pepper your story with some of the details so the reader believes the reactions to the events in the plot.

It’s all about the suspension of disbelief. The more you understand your character and portray her realistically on the page, the more your readers will immerse themselves in your story.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. She now lives in rural CO on a small ranch with a dog, a spoiled horse, too many cats, and a herd of goats. She and her husband, Del, are the proud parents of ten multi-talented and wildly-creative children. Rebecca is the author of a children's picture book "Grasshopper Pie" (WindRiver 2003), three novels, "Heaven Scent" (CFI 2008), "Altared Plans" (CFI 2009), and "The Upside of Down" (CFI 2011), and numerous magazine stories and articles. You can visit her blog at www.rebeccatalleywrites.blogspot.com.

Creating a Character’s Backstory Part 1 by Rebecca Talley

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

A character’s backstory is important to your story. You won’t use all that you create as the character’s backstory, but knowing it will help you create deeper, more interesting characters.

You can fill out a questionnaire about your character and list answers to the questions. However, this is a simplified approach and will probably not result in a complex understanding of your character.

Dig deeper to understand why your character would react a certain way in a specific situation. How would your character react to being locked in a closet? Would he freak out? Would he sit back and catch up on some sleep? Would he try to figure out how to get out and keep working at it until he escaped? Would he scream until someone came to let him out?

Each of the above situations would depend on the character’s backstory. Perhaps, as a young child he nearly suffocated under a pile of blankets and since then he’s been afraid of small enclosures. He fears that a small enclosure will mean certain death so he freaks out whenever he’s in a small place.

Maybe he’s so calm and relaxed that he’d sit back and sleep in locked closet. Maybe he faced a previous situation and decided then and there to never worry or stress out in any situation. He feels sure things will always work out for the best.

Maybe your character is extremely curious and always took things apart as a kid to figure out how they worked. Maybe he’s certain he can get out of any situation just by using his brain–he’s learned to depend on his smarts to get him out of all situations.

Or, maybe he’s a big crybaby because he was always picked on as a kid and now he thinks he’s a victim in all circumstances. He feels like his only defense is to depend on someone else to help him. He doesn’t look to himself to solve his problems, but rather looks to everyone else.

Knowing the backstory of your character will help you to understand how and why he’ll react to the situations you create in your plot. Characters must have realistic motivations and the best way to achieve that is to know and understand their backstories.

What are some ways to create a backstory? Read Part 2 tomorrow.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. She now lives in rural CO on a small ranch with a dog, a spoiled horse, too many cats, and a herd of goats. She and her husband, Del, are the proud parents of ten multi-talented and wildly-creative children. Rebecca is the author of a children's picture book "Grasshopper Pie" (WindRiver 2003), three novels, "Heaven Scent" (CFI 2008), "Altared Plans" (CFI 2009), and "The Upside of Down" (CFI 2011), and numerous magazine stories and articles. You can visit her blog at www.rebeccatalleywrites.blogspot.com.

Nominate Covers for the 2011 Book Cover Contest

2012-01-23T14:30:00.001-07:00

Work at my day job has finally (maybe, kinda, sorta) slowed down. (Knock on wood.)

So I'm back to regular posting, starting today. And it's a good thing too because I just realized I'm behind schedule for our Third Annual Book Cover Contest. (See First Annual Book Cover Contest HERE and Second Annual Book Cover Contest HERE.)

Previously, I have chosen the finalists and let you vote on them. And that's what we'll be doing again this year, with one small exception. This year, YOU can have some input in the initial stage. But you have to act fast.

You have until midnight on Thursday, January 26, 2012, to nominate a book cover for me to consider. Here are the conditions for nomination:

Must be a fiction book by an LDS author.
Must be published in 2011—republications with new covers will be considered.
Nominate your favorite COVER, not your favorite book or author. This contest has nothing to do with what's inside those covers.
I'd love for you to spread the word about these nominations but please, please, please, stress that you nominate based on your true love of the cover and not your love of the author or story.
Send nominees to me via email with Book Cover in the subject line.

Want to nominate but not sure what's out there? Check out LDS Fiction. All titles tagged 2011 Releases qualify.

We will start the genre voting on Monday, January 30, 2012.

UPDATE: Yes, you may nominate a book you wrote or designed—as long as you truly, truly feel that it's amazing.

A Little More on Giveaways

2012-01-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

This post doesn't deal with the legality of giveaways but rather the logistics. Tracking entrants can me a real pain—especially if you want them to do more than comment on a post.

For this site, I decided to try out a simple form system. I tested quite a few of the free ones and decided to go with Wufoo. It was easy to use and had a clean look, although it's bigger than I'd like. But hey, FREE.

Here's a site that lists several other free form makers.

If you want something more than a simple form, try Rafflecopter. I've used them on several sites in my real-life job.

Up until now, you had to ask to use them and wait for acceptance, but they've just done their official launch and anyone can use them now.

They're also doing their own giveaway where you can win an iPad2 or a Kindle Fire. Here's the link to that info.

And while you're there entering to win, browse their entire blog. They have lots of good ideas for holding giveaways. (Remember, I don't know for sure that all their ideas are legal, as I am not an attorney, but some of the info is very, very good.)

Have you used something to track your giveaways that you can recommend? Let us know in the comments.

New Look on the Author Site

2012-01-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm never going to promise to do posts again. Every time I do, something happens that keeps me from following through—like wrapping up the previous year and figuring out why the newest releases aren't showing up on Amazon yet...

I will post more info on doing legal blog giveaways soon. I was going to work on it this weekend but my brain was running a few slices short of a full loaf, so I did something easy instead.

Go check out the LDS Author Network site. Looks pretty awesome, huh?

I'm working on it a little at a time. I added about 20 authors over the weekend and I hope to get all LDS authors posted there eventually. I've moved the service providers over to another site & will get that looking pretty someday soon.

Or maybe late.

But eventually.

I promise.

Also, I'm discontinuing the Author Events site. It's just too hard to keep up with everything. I will include calls for submissions and major conferences here, but no more giveaway announcements or book signings.

And now I've got to get to work because apparently everyone's New Year's Resolution was to submit a novel in January.

GIving Your Books Away — Legally

2012-01-03T07:00:00.001-07:00

Got this email back before Christmas:

I don't know if you've heard this or even if it's legit, but someone posted [in a forum] that the FTC/FCC is cracking down on book giveaways where the winner is chosen by random because it is essentially a sweepstakes and is governed by very specific rules. Rumor has it there are fines. I don't want you to get in trouble just in case this is true. I don't know if it is and there are still plenty of giveaways going on. I just wanted to let you know.

From what I've read it seems like we can't do giveaways and contests, but I'm not that savvy with this kind of stuff. My husband doesn't think they can prevent contests but, again, I keep getting conflicting information so I look forward to reading your take on it. Thanks!

I did some research—for myself because I do a monthly book giveaway here—and also for you because I know a lot of you give away books on your blogs and/or participate in blog hops. I don't want anyone to get in trouble.

I also don't want anyone to PANIC because, well, there's just no need to do so.

YES, you can give away books on your blog.

YES, you can select winners at random.

BUT...there are definitely some regulations on what you say, where you say it, how you say it, who can enter, blah, blah, blah.

Based on my research, I made a few changes to my monthly giveaway, the most noticeable is that now you have to enter to win using the form in the sidebar. Previously, you could enter just by leaving a comment—on any post. While this is still a good idea for blog hops and short-term contests where someone comments on A SPECIFIC POST, it doesn't work so well here.

To the best of my understanding, these changes make my giveaways compliant with FTC/FCC regulations. Over the next few days, I'm going to post more detail about what I learned and how it applies specifically to blogging authors who want to do giveaways—as I understand it.

But just remember, I am not an attorney. I might be wrong.

In the meantime, here are some articles that I found. Some of the info is repetitive, but each of them adds some extra insights and thoughts on the subject.

Advertising FAQ's: A Guide for Small Business (FTC site; not very helpful, but official; scroll way down to find the info on Contests and Sweepstakes)
Structuring Online Sweepstakes and Contests: New Challenges for Marketers (Keller & Heckman, attorneys; a little legalese-y, but generally clear)
Next Crackdown on Bloggers: Sweepstakes & Contests (Stephanie Schwab; includes several links and example of what not to do)
Blog Law—Is Your Giveaway Legal? (Sara @ Saving For Someday; easy to understand)
Facebook Promotions Guidelines (for posting about your giveaways; they make this pretty difficult to do...)

January 2012 Prize Sponsors

2012-01-02T13:23:00.010-07:00

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

There are new guidelines and entry requirements for winning one of these books. Please take a look at the updated Official Rules.

A big thank you to our Prize Sponsors! Please take a moment to learn more about this month's wonderfully generous sponsors.

Cloak by James Gough

Thirteen-year-old bubble boy Will Tuttle lives a boring, friendless life trapped in a sterile Brooklyn apartment, suffering from mysterious allergies no doctor can explain. Fed up with his pointless existence he breaks free of the sterile bubble to explore New York City, not expecting to return alive. Instead, Will discovers that his countless allergies have a single, bizarre source.

Suddenly Will is a target. When he's chased through Central Park by a cloaked assailant, a misfit team of bodyguards shows up to keep Will Tuttle alive. . . . And teach him how to blend into a society that isn’t supposed to exist.

James Gough was born in the Rockies, raised in the Dakotas, schooled in a mountain desert, trained south of the border and wooed by the big apple. He now lives in a forest near a great lake with three bright daughters, a brilliant wife and a dim-witted dog.

James has been an actor, an artist, an athlete and an advertiser. He’s thrilled to add author to his list. Besides writing, he loves to teach, is obsessed with strange foods and has always been an avid people-watcher.

House of Diamonds by Karen Jones Gowen

In this sequel to Gowen’s debut novel, Uncut Diamonds, she follows sisters Cindy and Marcie as they reach a crossroads in their lives.

Marcie pursues her dream of becoming a published writer while Cindy faces a terrible tragedy.

Through faith, loss and the transcending nature of sacrifice, Marcie and Cindy must learn the incredible power that comes to families when they pull together to overcome challenges.

Two women, one facing opportunity, the other tragedy. Can their bond endure?

Karen Gowen: Born and raised in central Illinois, the daughter of a second-generation Methodist minister, I now live in South Jordan, Utah with my husband and three of our ten children. We have a back yard overgrown with fruit trees, vegetable garden and wildflowers, as well as a pond full of koi. I love to read, knit and watch Woody Allen movies. I graduated from BYU with a degree in English and American Literature. I've been writing for most of my life, published a few newspaper articles and sold a few stories to the Friend. The past few years I have finally been able to devote more time to writing.

The Scholar of Moab by Steven L. Peck

What happens when a two-headed cowboy, a high school dropout who longs to be a scholar, and a poet who claims to have been abducted by aliens come together in 1970’s Moab, Utah? The Scholar of Moab, a dark-comedy perambulating murder, affairs, and cowboy mysteries in the shadow of the La Sal Mountains.

Young Hyrum Thane, unrefined geological surveyor, steals a massive dictionary out of the Grand County library in a midnight raid, startling the people of Moab into believing a nefarious band of Book of Mormon assassins, the Gadianton Robbers, has arisen again.

Making matters worse, Hyrum’s illicit affair with Dora Tanner, a local poet thought to be mad, ends in the delivery of a premature baby boy who vanishes the night of its birth. Righteous Moabites accuse Dora of its murder, but who really killed their child? Did a coyote dingo the baby? Was it an alien abduction as Dora claims? Was it Hyrum? Or could it have been the only witness to the crime, one of a pair of Oxford-educated conjoined twins who cowboy in the La Sals on sabbatical?

Steven L. Peck is an evolutionary ecologist at Brigham Young University where he teaches the philosophy of biology. His scientific work has appeared in American Naturalist, Newsweek, Evolution, Trends in Ecology and Evolution, Biological Theory, Agriculture and Human Values, Biology & Philosophy, and co-edited volume on environmental stewardship. His creative works include a novel: The Gift of the King’s Jeweler (2003 Covenant Communications); His poetry has appeared in Dialogue, Bellowing Ark, Irreantum, Red Rock Review, Glyphs III, Tales of the Talisman, Victorian Violet Press, and other places. He has published a number of science fiction stories. This year, he was nominated for the 2011 Science Fiction Poetry Association’s Rhysling Award. Other awards include the Meyhew Short Story Contest, First Place at Warp and Weave, Honorable Mention in the 2011 Brookie and D.K. Brown Fiction Contest, and Second Place in the Eugene England Memorial Essay Contest.

Two Souls Are Better Than One by Karen E. Hoover

Barely thirteen, Jeremy James Johansen has had more than his share of trouble. His father disappeared without a trace and the police believe he murdered his lab assistant, though his son knows it isn’t true. His dad can’t even handle a knife, let alone a bow and arrow.

A year later Jeremy stumbles across a portal to another world and gets pulled through—but not as himself. Somehow he swaps bodies with the man on the other side before the portal disappears.

Captured by a dragon and a man in black who insists on calling him father, he tries to escape, only to plummet to his death. He awakens in his own bed, believing it was all a bad dream. The problem is there are holes in his memory he can’t fill.

In time, he discovers that the portal holds the answers not only to his forgotten memories, but most importantly, points him down the path to finding his father.

Karen E. Hoover has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. Her favorite memory of her dad is the time he spent with Karen on his lap, telling her stories for hours on end. Her dad promised he would have Karen reading on her own by the time she was four years old … and he very nearly did. Karen took the gift of words her dad gave her and ran with it. Since then, she’s written two novels and reams of poetry. Her head is fairly popping with ideas, so she plans to write until she’s ninety-four or maybe even a hundred and four.

Inspiration is found everywhere, but Karen’s heart is fueled by her husband and two sons, the Rocky Mountains, her chronic addiction to pens and paper, and the smell of her laser printer in the morning.

Wasatch: Mormon Stories and a Novella by Douglas Thayer

Douglas Thayer's third collection presents a dozen of his career-best stories, including several that have never before appeared in print.

Wasatch is the next chapter in Thayer’s recent literary success, preceded by Hooligan, his landmark memoir about growing up Mormon in Provo, Utah, and by his acclaimed novel The Tree House, about the trials and redemption of missionary and soldier Harris Thatcher.

Douglas Thayer teaches English at Brigham Young University, where he has served as director of composition, chair of creative writing, associate department chair, and associate dean. He has received various awards for his fiction, including the Karl G. Maeser Creative Arts Award. He is the author of the novels Hooligan, Summer Fire and The Conversion of Jeff Williams and two collections of short stories, Mr. Wahlquist in Yellowstone and Under the Cottonwoods and Other Mormon Stories, and he has been published in Colorado Quarterly, Dialogue, Prairie Schooner, and elsewhere.

To enter to win one of these books, use the form in the sidebar. One entry per person per month. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. You must be 18 years or older to enter. Limited to U.S. residents. Deadline to enter: January 31, 2012, midnight, Mountain Time. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. CLICK HERE to read the Official Rules.

CLICK HERE for details on sponsoring the contest.

December 2011 Prize Winners

2012-01-02T08:57:00.004-07:00

Here are the randomly selected winners of last month's Comment Contest.

Thanks again to our sponsors. Please take a moment to read their info here.

The Death of a Disco Dancer

by

David Clark

Winner: Taffy
Commenting on: "Give Books for Christmas Giveaway Hop!"

Fire in the Pasture

by

Tyler Chadwick, ed.

Winner: Gamila
Commenting on: "Hannah of Silver Falls by Rebecca Woods"

Latter-day Liberty

by

Connor Boyack

Winner: Foxy J
Commenting on: "Beyond This Valley by Millie Chidester"

Monsters & Mormons

by

Wm Morris & Theric Jepson, ed.

Winner: Becca
Commenting on: Merry Christmas!

To claim your prize, you must e-mail your mailing address to me by Saturday, January 7, 2012.

(Unclaimed prizes will be up for grabs later.)

Click here to learn how you can win a copy of one of our sponsoring books.

Click here for details on sponsoring the LDS Publisher blogs.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T07:00:00.001-07:00

My Submission Bounced Back. What Do I Do?

2011-12-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

The email address for your submissions department came back undeliverable. I addressed it to [name deleted]..as I found on your [name deleted] submissions address. My question is this...I sent the first 12 chapters of my manuscript entitled "[name deleted]" to [name deleted] on Nov. 21,2011, with query letter,etc. Since then, I have completed the final chapter...#23.

Since the email came back undeliverable, I am now wondering if the manuscript even arrived at the right place. Should I send the remaining chapters, or should I just send the chapters 13-23, or should I wait and make sure this has been accepted for publication.

There are some issues with your questions. Since your email brings up several mistakes that new authors often make, I'll address each one separately.

I went to the website of the publisher you mentioned and will answer your questions according to their website submission guidelines. For other readers, please note that different publishers have different guidelines. The point of this post is to do your research on the publisher you're submitting to and follow their guidelines.

The email was sent to me at the LDS Publisher email address, but addressed to me as if I were the editor at the company whose name has been deleted. I am not that person. I am an anonymous blogger. Sending this email to me here at the blog tells me that you didn't research as well as you could have. (For more information, see my mini-rant from yesterday.)
Unless you met with this editor in person or you were at a writers conference where they gave you a submissions email address and requested specifically that you send your manuscript in the way that you did, then you didn't follow their guidelines. Therefore, your email may have been automatically deleted, if it arrived at all.
This publisher's website specifically states that you should mail a query letter and an outline or table of contents. Mail—as in print a hard copy, put it in an envelope, and mail it to their physical address, as posted on their website.
They also accept partial manuscripts of 2 to 3 chapters. Not the first 12 chapters. Unless the editor specifically requested that you send the entire book, you sent too much.
Always wait until requested to send more than the query, the outline, and first few chapters.
If you're sending fiction, never send a query for an unfinished work. If it's non-fiction, you can get away with an unfinished book—sometimes. As a new author, it's always better to have a finished product.
Publishers and editors will need to see the entire manuscript before accepting it for publication. But generally, they don't want to see the whole thing at the initial query/submission stage.
If your email came back undeliverable, chances are they did not receive it. Rather than resending the entire book, I suggest you go back to their website and find their submission guidelines. Read them carefully and then follow them to the letter.

I Am NOT the Editor at Deseret Book...

2011-12-20T07:33:00.003-07:00

This is me.

<----------

I am an anonymous blogger who speaks to issues on getting published in the LDS industry.

Even if I were an editor at Deseret Book, I would never admit it through the avenues of this blog. Nor would I respond to emails sent to me here, but addressing me as my real-life counterpart.

The reason I'm reiterating this (and believe me REiterating is the correct usage in this case, as opposed to iterating, which is usually adequate) is because lately, I've been getting a LOT of emails addressed directly to various editors for Deseret Book or inquiring as to the status of a DB submission, but using MY ldspublisher email address.

It's not completely unheard of that someone emails me here thinking I'm a particular editor at one of the LDS publishing companies. BUT, the fact that I'm getting so many lately specifically for Deseret Book employees makes me wonder if someone hasn't posted their theory that I work for Deseret Book somewhere and said it with enough authority that others believe it to be true.

Shame on you, if you did that. Because 1) you're giving bad advice to new authors by telling them to contact a particular company in any way other than what they officially state on their website, and 2) it's just rude to try and out me!

So if you've done this—well-meaning or not—STOP IT! Correct it! And don't do it again!

Please. :)

For the record:

Yes, I do work for a publishing company. And if you happen to get it right, I do forward the email to the appropriate person.

But most of the time, you get it wrong and when you do, I am no more able to contact the correct person than you are.

And even when you do get it right, and I AM the person you need to address in real-life, the fact that you try to contact me through this avenue tells me that you're not a professional and you haven't done your homework and you're going to need more hand-holding than I really want to give. I may still accept your manuscript, but I'm going to do it reluctantly.

Wrapping Up 2011

2011-12-19T08:24:00.006-07:00

I'm trying to get the 2011 Fiction list wrapped up and as complete as possible this week. I usually post that list over on LDS Fiction on Dec 31st, but then it's too late to encourage Whitney nominations—so I'm shooting for this Friday.

That way, you have the full list in front of you and can make last minute nominations for your favorite books.

Trust me. The Whitney people LOVE last minute nominations. They will thank you for them.

(That is only slightly sarcastic. They would really rather you nominate all year long, but any nomination before the end of the year will be considered.)

(For details on Whitneys & nominations, click here.)

But I digress. This is not a post about the Whitneys. It's a post about the 2011 LDS Fiction list. This list is for fiction titles written by LDS authors and published in 2011.

I currently have 275 titles on the 2011 Fiction list. That's a lot. But, unfortunately, I'm sure I've missed a few.

That's where YOU ride to my rescue!

Please take a moment (or 10) and go visit the LDS Fiction blog. Scroll down to view the 2011 Fiction list in the sidebar. If you know of any book that belongs on this list—and it's missing—please, please, please send me info about it. (Link to info I need.)

As far as I know, the current list is complete. I am not aware of any other books being released through the end of this year. Please correct me if I'm wrong by sending an e-mail ASAP or by posting the title of the book and the author's name in the comments of this post.

Thanks so much for your help!

Oh, and P.S. Some authors believe that if their book has a post on the LDS Fiction blog, that means they're automatically nominated for a Whitney. This is not true. My blogs have no official connection with the Whitney Awards. The LDS Fiction blog is simply to make readers aware that a book exists. It's up to the reader of the book to nominate it for a Whitney. (Authors and publishers may not nominate their own books.)

Give Books for Christmas Giveaway Hop Winner

2011-12-16T08:16:00.004-07:00

First, I want to apologize for not being very active here this month. It's been crazy at work and everyone's been trying to wrap up the end of the year so that today will be our last official work day and we can play until January. I think I'm just about there...

And now for the winner of Stolen Christmas:

Congratulations to

Maria Hoagland

Send me your mailing address and I'll ship that right out to you.

December 2011 Prize Sponsors

2011-12-01T07:29:00.002-07:00

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

Please take a moment to learn more about this month's wonderfully generous sponsors.

The Death of a Disco Dancer by David Clark

One night, eleven-year-old Todd Whitman receives a terrifying but hilarious midnight visitor: his cockatoo-plumed, dementia-stricken, John Travolta-smitten Grandma Carter. In constant nocturnal search of the mysterious "Dancer," Grandma clutches her absurdly precious Saturday Night Fever album cover and giggles her way through the dance steps of her youth.

When forty-something Todd returns home to help his dying mother, he reflects on that pivotal summer of 1981: the unique relationship he developed with his grandmother, the chaos of finding his place in a large Mormon family, the near misses of impressing the one-and-only Jenny Gillette, and the utter social catastrophe of junior high.

David Clark is a terrible dancer, former fake fighter, and recovering oranger. His oranging career effectively ended when he was intercepted and physically detained in a dark alley by a victimized college football player and was then forced to either rat out his friends or have his arm broken. His friends have still not forgiven him.

He is now engaged in much safer pursuits as a corporate lawyer and formerly served as the general counsel of a major international media company, and has practiced law and lived in New York City and San Diego. He now resides with his family in his hometown, Mesa, Arizona.

Fire in the Pasture by Tyler Chadwick, ed.

"…the bounty of [this] anthology reminded me of Christ’s generosity in feeding the five thousand. Christ took real substances—a little bread, two small fish—and he created from them…food that nourished the people and made it possible for them to return to their lives both physically and spiritually renewed. Poets take matter (language, emotion, thought, experience) and make of that matter a new creation, a work of art that did not exist before the poet organized it, a work that has the potential (each poet hopes) to nourish—to make readers see what they did not see before, to offer insight, to create empathy, to provoke thought, or to express beauty, soundness, depth. To offer abundance in place of scarcity." —from the Foreword by Susan Elizabeth Howe

Fire in the Pasture includes works from over 80 poets. See complete list here.

Tyler Chadwick spearheaded the Mormon Poetry Project, collecting works from a wide variety of 21st century LDS poets. Originally from Utah, Chadwick now lives with his wife in Idaho, where he is a Graduate Teaching Assistant at Idaho State University.

Latter-day Liberty by Connor Boyack

Individual liberty is a fundamental aspect of the good news of the gospel. But what is liberty exactly, and what role does it play in our lives? Connor Boyack explores these questions and much more in this detailed analysis of historical developments, secular information, and scriptural insights. The war in heaven continues on earth today, and our agency and liberty are under attack.

A fundamental aspect of the good news of the gospel is the message of liberty. As President Joseph F. Smith said, “The Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of freedom; the gospel of the Son of God is the gospel of liberty.” Men of God, both ancient and modern, have spoken on this issue repeatedly. Latter-Day Liberty: A Gospel Approach to Government and Politics provides an analysis of what liberty is and how it applies to government and politics, using logic, reason, and secular sources of information, in addition to the abundant scriptures and statements from prophets and apostles which relate to these issues.

Connor Boyack is a web developer, political economist, and social media consultant focused on advancing the cause of liberty. Best known for his blog at www.connorboyack.com, he currently serves as the state coordinator for the Tenth Amendment Center in Utah. He is a frequent guest on radio shows and regularly publishes opinion pieces in a variety of newspapers and websites.

A California native and Brigham Young University graduate, Connor currently resides in Lehi, Utah, with his wife and two children.

Monsters & Mormons by Wm Morris & Theric Jepson, ed.

Thirty Tales of Adventure and Terror.

Run the gamut of battling demons, ghosts, zombie apocalypse, aliens, golems, ninja monkeys, mad scientists, cyborgs and more!

Authors include Nathan Shumate, David J. West, Graham Bradley, Eric James Stone, Dan Wells, and many others.

Click here for a complete list of authors and story titles.

Wm Morris blogs at A Motley Vision, where he keeps an eye on the world of Mormon arts and culture. He is a PR professional working at a nonprofit, private technical college in Minneapolis. Neither the 19th century socialist poet, artist and designer nor the leviathan talent agency, but he has a foot in both of the worlds they represent.

Theric Jepson, another AMV blogger, has been blogging since 2005, but he’s been a gadfly-in-the-making for much, much longer. Most of his professional publications have been under his legal name, Eric W Jepson, but online he is better known by a variety of monikers beginning with the digraph th. You can read his personal blog at Thmazing's Thutopia.

CLICK HERE for details on how to win these books.

CLICK HERE for details on sponsoring the contest.

November 2011 Prize Winners

2011-12-01T07:00:00.001-07:00

Here are the randomly selected winners of last month's Comment Contest.

Thanks again to our sponsors. Please take a moment to read their info here.

Hidden in the Heart

by

Roseanne E. Wilkins

Winner: Rebecca H. Jamison

Commenting on: "Creating Your Own Facebook Fanpage, Part 1"

NYC: Murder Brooklyn Style

by

Loraine Scott

Winner: Rachel Kirkaldie

Commenting on: "Haven't You Always Wanted to Write a Book?"

Pride and Popularity

by

Jenni James

Winner: Gina

Commenting on: "Haven't You Always Wanted to Write a Book?"

Rearview Mirror

by

Stephanie Black

Winner: Stephanie
(No, not the same Stephanie)

Commenting on: "Supporting Your Facebook Friends"

To claim your prize, you must e-mail your mailing address to me by Thursday, December 8, 2011.

(Unclaimed prizes will be up for grabs later.)

Click here to learn how you can win a copy of one of our sponsoring books.

Click here for details on sponsoring the LDS Publisher blogs.

Last Day of NaNoWriMo

2011-11-30T07:03:00.003-07:00

Today's the last day to write!

I'm done, but I didn't win this year. I'm at 20,000 words and heading out of town tomorrow so I have to pack. Plus there's no way I can write 30,000 coherent words in a day.

But I had fun. How about you? Who's done? Who's still writing as fast as their fingers can type?

Give Books for Christmas Giveaway Hop!

2011-11-29T09:07:00.007-07:00

Oh, hi. I'm doing the Give Books for Christmas Giveaway Hop!

I don't usually do things like this. In fact, I don't think I've ever participated in a blog hop before.

And I may never do it again. We'll see.

But I was invited to participate in this one through Facebook (that Facebook is a neat thing, isn't it?), so I decided to give it a try because this hop is right up my alley.

And it's right up your alley, too—because ALL THE PRIZES are BOOKS!

This seems like a great way to draw attention to your book, if you're a published author, and/or get more traffic to your blog if you're unpublished.

If you want to be a blog that people hop to, go sign up here. If you want to hop around the blogs to enter to win the prizes, just click on the links below and enter to win on each blog.

So, I'm giving away a copy of Stolen Christmas & Other Stories of the Season.

This is the first Christmas collection of short stories gleaned from the contests held here at LDS Publisher.

(Yes, there will be a second collection available for Christmas gift giving in 2012.)

Here's the blurb:
What happens when you’re so poor you have to steal your Christmas presents? Have you ever taken a punch in the face as your Christmas gift to the girl you love? Or saved Christmas while hunting were-weevils?

These award-winning Christmas stories are the best of the best from the LDS Publisher Christmas Story Contests. From Christmases past, to present, to future; from sweet and inspirational, to zany and delightful—there’s a story for everyone in this eclectic collection.

Contributing authors are: Roger Bonner, Don Carey, Laura Craner, Joyce DiPastena, Sarah M. Eden, L.T. Elliot, Gussie Fick, Melanie Goldmund, M. Gray, Taegyn Hutchinson, Angie Lofthouse, Lori Nawyn, Tristi Pinkston, Brian C. Ricks, Sandra Sorenson, Janice Sperry, and Christine Thackeray.

To be entered to win this book, you need to:

Follow this blog and/or the LDS Fiction blog.
Commit to giving at least one book by an LDS author as a Christmas gift this year. (List the title and author in the comments section of this post.)

Deadline to enter: Thursday, December 15, 2011.

US and International entries allowed. If the winner is in the US, you may choose either a print book or an ebook; if international, winner will receive an ebook.

Or if you can't wait, you can always purchase the book at CreateSpace or Smashwords.

Call for Christmas Stories

2011-11-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Nope. It's not for a contest here on LDS Publisher, but...

Michael Young is looking for 12 short stories for a Christmas anthology to be published next year. Each story has to incorporate a Christmas song.

The songs already taken are:

O Christmas Tree
I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
The Little Drummer Boy

Here are the details (per Michael):

12 short stories, each one based on a Christmas song. The song would also be the title.

NOTE: I will only include one story based on each song. The best way I see around this is to email me and let me know what song you will like and I will post the taken songs on my website. Any genre that meats the guidelines is acceptable.

Length: 1000 – 10,000 words

Content: No profanity, graphic violence, or erotic situations. Should be ‘family friendly’.

Deadline: March 31st, 2012

To be published: December 2012

Send submissions to thecanticlekingdom@gmail.com. Please include your full name, phone number, email address and website (if applicable).

Files should be written in 12 point font, double spaced, with pages numbered and a running headed with the author’s name and title across the top.

By submitting your work, you grant me one-time publishing rights if selected. The anthology will only go through if there are a sufficient number of entries received.

Each entry will receive feedback from me, and some may be accepted pending revisions.

Those selected will be notified no later than June 1st, 2012.

Conditions subject to change.

All the proceeds will be donated to the National Down Syndrome Society.

Michael D. Young is the author of the novels The Canticle Kingdom and The Last Archangel. He is also the author of the inspirational pamphlet "Portrait of a Mother". His work has been featured in various online and print magazines such as Mindflights, The New Era, Allegory, and Ensign. You can visit him at his website, www.writermike.com, and his facebook fanpage, http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung.

Friday Funny: NaNo Style

2011-11-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

A salesman walked up to a Nanowrimo
participant's house and rang the doorbell.

No one answered.

~John Waverly

2011-11-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Borrowed here.

Finding God Among Witches, Ghosts and Serial Killers by Michaelbrent Collings

2011-11-23T07:11:00.005-07:00

I am often asked how I come up with my ideas. The answers range. For my book RUN, I visited a working silver mine and decided that I had to write a book that had a chase scene set in a mine.

For my young adult novel Billy: Messenger of Powers, I got the idea when my wife told me in no uncertain terms that if I didn’t write something that did NOT involve people running away from serial killers, ghosts, or other malcontents (i.e., she wanted something she could read without having to put the police on speed-dial and turning on all the lights in the house first), she was going to divorce me. I took those words to heart, and wrote Billy: Messenger of Powers. So apparently ideas can come from a variety of places, and be fruitful and effective.

There is another question I am occasionally asked, however, that fascinates me even more than “How do you get your ideas?” That question is: “How do you write about such (at times) horrific things… and still claim that you are a religious person?”

The answer: Very easily.

I am a deeply religious person. I go to church every single week, I have held numerous ecclesiastical positions, and I even served as an unpaid, full-time missionary for my church. So it is no surprise (to me at least) that my faith colors everything I do… even when I’m writing about a serial killer.

Often, in fact, both the villains AND the heroes of my works are people “of faith.” Again, using the book RUN as an example, one of the heroes is a man named Adam (yes, the biblical name is on purpose) whose sole purpose is nothing less than securing the safety of humanity as a species. In so doing, he is constantly faced by choices that he must answer within his moral framework.

On the flip side of the coin, the antagonist of the book is a man named Malachi (again, not a coincidence), who views it as a mission from God to destroy all life on the planet. Together, these men serve as a kind of spectrum of theological thought, and allow me to treat religious questions from within the framework of (hopefully) an exciting novel.

Not that RUN is preachy. At least, I hope it isn’t. But I have found that as a writer, it is not only a fruitless quest to “divorce” myself from my spirituality, it actually makes for a much more interesting, layered book when questions of faith and belief are discussed. Most people, in the U.S. at least, still count themselves as people with some religious or spiritual belief, and so adding that dimension to my characters not only makes them more accessible, but more interesting and real.

Not only that, but using faith as a foundation for my writing allows me to draw on deep spiritual archetypes that would otherwise be unavailable to me. In Billy: Messenger of Powers, the main character is a young boy who discovers that he is the key player in a war between two sets of magical camps: the Dawnwalkers, who fight to perserve humanity’s freedom of choice; and the Darksiders, whose goal is to enslave all “normal” people. This consciously mirrors a key tenet of my own belief system: that God exists to give people freedom and allow them to discover their potential as His children, while the devil’s key aims are and always have been to bind human beings in chains of sin and misery. This belief is mirrored by many people globally, and having it in my story allows me to tap into subconscious beliefs that my reader’s have. This not only props up the plot of Billy: Messenger of Powers, but make it a better, deeper, and ultimately more thought-provoking and enjoyable read.

There are those who argue that the arts should be more secular – one only has to take a look at the average television network lineup to see how much religion has been stripped out of our daily lives when it comes to entertainment. But I think that art serves its best purposes when it reflects the purposes and values of the ultimate Creator. That is not to say that I believe everything has to be shiny and happy, or that every story can only have “good” people in it (I’m pretty sure that even the Bible has a bad guy or two in it).

But I DO think that it is our responsibility as artists and our privilege as children of God to create things that empower, edify, and enlighten. And the best way to do that is not to deny faith, but to embrace it and make it a living, breathing part of all that we do.

Michaelbrent is a bestselling novelist whose books RUN and Billy: Messenger of Powers have been amazon.com bestsellers. He is also a produced screenwriter and member of both the Writers Guild of America and the Horror Writers of America. His blog is at http://michaelbrentcollings.com/blog2.html, and you can follow him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Michaelbrent-Collings/283851837365 or on twitter @mbcollings.

Friday Funny: NaNo Style

2011-11-18T07:00:00.003-07:00

Question: Three people were sitting at the library with their laptops.

The first was typing away furiously the screen filling with words, many of them with red, squiggly lines underneath them.

The second glared at a mostly blank screen with bloodshot eyes.

The third typed a few words, then got up and browsed the shelves for a long time before returning and typing a few more words.

Which one is the true Nano participant?

Answer: All of them.

~John Waverly

Haven't You Always Wanted to Write a Book?

2011-11-17T07:00:00.002-07:00

Okay, I know it's not Friday, but I'm busy writing. I'm only at 5,110 words, but guess what? That's more than I did last year! How about you? What's your word count?

Tips for the Writing Mommy by Tristi Pinkston

2011-11-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I’m a stay-at-home mom, a homeschooler, the owner/operator of a bath and beauty company, I write blogs for Families.com, I’m the Wolf leader in my ward, and I’m an LDS historical fiction novelist. No wonder I’m so tired – after typing all that, I think I need to go take a nap.

People ask me all the time how I manage to balance everything. Well, truth be told, I don’t always. You don’t want to drop by my house unexpectedly or you’ll never know what you’ll find. We live in organized chaos. I stay up too late at night and I admit there are days when I feel like I’m chasing my tail. But there are a few things I’ve learned that I’d like to share with you in hopes that it will help make your schedule a little more conducive to writing. Or for that matter, finding time to do any other thing you’d like.

1 – Meals and Snacks

You don’t need to prepare an all-out meal from scratch three times a day. You can do cold cereal for breakfast once in a while, you know. You can also do cheese, crackers and lunch meat for lunch. I do try to prepare “actual dinners,” as my daughter puts it, and I do make breakfast and lunch, but on days when I’m seriously writing, I let mealtimes become more casual. Some ideas:

a. Keep yogurt in your fridge for a quick snack for you or the kids. Yogurt and a banana make a great breakfast, too.

b. Take a loaf of bread and make it into a whole stack of sandwiches. Then slide the sandwiches back into the bread sack. When someone needs a sandwich, they can just grab one out of the fridge.

c. Designate one crisper in your fridge to be a “snack drawer.” Fill it up with apples, cheese sticks, yogurt, etc. When your children want a snack, tell them to go get something out of the “snack drawer.” You can do the same thing in your cupboard. Make a basket with pretzels, crackers, etc. and have that be the special “snack basket.” You can take sandwich bags and break the boxes down into serving sizes and tell them they can have one, so they don’t run off with the whole box.

d. Make meals ahead of time and stick them in the freezer.

e. When I buy a package of meat, I like to cook it all up and then freeze it, cooked. That way, when I go to use it, I just have to warm it through instead of defrosting and then cooking it.

f. Make tomorrow’s dinner while you’re making tonight’s. Especially if you’re using cooked meat, you can assemble tomorrow’s dinner, cover it and put it in the fridge. Then just throw it in the oven tomorrow night.

g. Teach your older children how to make sandwiches, warm up soup, etc. They get a sense of pride in their accomplishments when they are allowed to help make a meal.

h. If you have younger children, make some sippy cups with milk, juice and water in them. Then when the child gets thirsty, they can either grab one themselves or you can send your older child to get it for them. It’s a lot less expensive than juice boxes, that’s for sure.

These are all things you can either direct from your computer or will help you spend less time in the kitchen = more time at the computer.

2 – Entertaining the Troops

a. It’s not a sin to let your children watch TV. I don’t mean to stick them in front of it for hours on end and let them watch whatever comes on; there are definite dangers in allowing entire days in front of the TV, and with the programming that’s on, you never know what they might be subjected to. But there are some fabulous programs on that are fun and educational, as well as great DVDs. My kids have learned a lot from shows like CyberChase, Stanley, Reading Rainbow, Sesame Street, The Magic School Bus, and the like. There’s nothing wrong with turning on the TV and letting your kids watch a show while you write.

b. Get some paper and crayons and let your kids “write” a book of their own while you’re working.

c. Ask older children to read to the younger ones.

3 – Adjusting Your Sleep

This one’s hard. But consider getting up earlier than your kids or staying up late after they go to bed. It will do a number on your own sleep but you’ll have a sense of contentment that may help make up for some of that lack.

4 – Housework

a. I have to get up and walk around periodically. So while I’m doing that, I’ll change out the laundry and put in a load of dishes. Usually by the time I’m done doing that, I’ll be ready to get back to work.

b. It’s not a sin to teach your children to do chores. The happiest children are the ones who feel that they are valuable in their homes and who have a sense of purpose. When you teach your children to do chores, you are helping them to feel needed. Of course, keep the chores age-appropriate. My 10-year-old can vacuum, and my 8-year-old can wipe up the bathroom mirrors and counter top. My five-year-old can unload the dishwasher. I even have my older kids stand on chairs to get the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer. They all love helping me make dinner. As they get older, I’ll teach them to do other things. This not only clears up five minutes of time for me here and there, but when we work together to turn a half-hour job into a ten-minute job (freeing up twenty minutes) we’re drawing closer together.

c. Reevaluate your thinking about housework. Mold is obviously not good. It’s important to have clean towels and clothes, and feeding your family is a good thing. But if you can give up something to give yourself time to write, think about doing it. Are there ways you could simplify your routines? Can you delegate more to your husbands? Can you put up with toys scattered across the floor for a little while so you can finish your chapter? Is it necessary to have all your dishes perfectly stacked all the time? When you’re on a roll with your book, it’s okay to let some things slide until you’re done.

5 – Organizing Your Time

Yeah, this tip’s not a piece of cake either. When you’ve got other people in the house and they have needs, it’s sometimes impossible to create the chunks of time you need.

a. One thing I do is to create Days. What I mean by that is, Wednesday, for instance, is Scout Day. After lunch I sit down and review what I need to do to prepare for the Scouts to come at 4:30. I’m not writing during this time, or grocery shopping, or anything else. It’s devoted to Scouts. I get ready for them to come, they come, and then after they leave, I look at next week’s meeting. I do any ahead-of-time prep work that needs doing, and if I need to buy something, I put it on my shopping list. I record what they got passed off and make notes on what they need to do next. Then, with the exception of getting whatever I might have put on the shopping list, I don’t think about it until the next Wednesday. Monday is the day I use to make the products for my business, unless I have an emergency order. When I was a Stampin’ Up! distributor, Tuesday was my prep day for that. Look at your life – are there certain tasks you can isolate to one day a week?

b. Create an errand day. I used to have the tendency to run out and do errands several times a week, and I found I was away from home a lot. Now what I do is designate an errand day. This usually coordinates with Pay Day. I’ll sit down and pay bills, and then I’ll go out and do all my grocery shopping, trip to the post office, to the bank (if needed) library, Blockbuster, etc, all at once. It makes for about a three-hour trip, but it’s better for me to get it done at once. Now, of course, in between times I still run to the library and Blockbuster (who could go for two weeks without books and movies?) and I do mail books and products as the orders come in. But I try to do it in chunks so that I’m home more often.

c. And again, with the sleep thing I already mentioned. I’m usually up until around 2 am, the main reason for this being that my husband works the night shift and so I like to stay up to see him off. But from 9:00 when all the kids are in bed (supposedly) until I wake my husband up to get ready for work, I can be at the computer, or reading a book, or watching a movie. With the book and movie reviews I write for Families.com, I need to make time for that in my schedule as well.

I think the main thing we need to do is find a way to create balance. You can write and take care of your children at the same time. I recently moved my computer into the living room (it was in my bedroom) so I could be in the thick of things. Right now, my two-year-old is five feet to my left, watching “Blue’s Clues.” I know he’s safe, I know he’s learning, and I’m writing. If you’re totally ignoring your kids in order to write, it won’t be as satisfactory to you. But if you totally ignore yourself and your own talents and ambitions, you won’t derive the kind of satisfaction from motherhood that you should. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids.

Tristi Pinkston is the author of eight published books, including the Secret Sisters mystery series. In addition to being a prolific author, Tristi also provides a variety of author services, including editing, coordinating blog tours, and online writing instruction. You can visit her at www.tristipinkston.blogspot.com or her website at www.tristipinkston.com.

What is a Book Bomb?

2011-11-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

A "book bomb" is when an author or publisher asks readers to purchase a particular book from Amazon on a specific day. If enough readers cooperate, it pushes the book up in Amazon's rankings, giving it much more exposure than it would get if the same number of copies of the book were purchased over a longer period of time.

To schedule a book bomb, you use facebook, twitter, author newsletter lists, and other social media to get the word out: if you're going to buy this book from Amazon, do it on this date, please.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't—depends on how connected an author is, how much buzz they can generate, and how internet/media savvy their readership is. Sometimes an author or publisher will offer a reward for participation. Send them proof that you ordered and you're entered to win something cool, like an iPad or Kindle

A reasonable goal is to get the book to move up above 1,000 in Amazon's listing. You've done a great job if it shows up in Amazon's top 100 for it's genre. If you're really successful, it might even move to Amazon's top 100 books overall. If a book hits any these markers, it very likely that it will be picked up in Amazon's marketing and sent out in their promo emails to customers.

Some of you may have participated in the recent Book Bomb for Variant by Robison Wells. If you missed it, that's too bad. Here's what happened...

Coordinated by Larry Correia, the Book Bomb took place on Thursday, November 10th. The day before the bomb, Larry reported, "Last night Variant was at #6,068 overall out of six million some odd books, and #74 in his genre."

By the end of the day on Thursday, Variant was #57 on Amazon's Top 100 Book list, #10 in Teen Fantasy and #7 in Teen Sci-Fi.

I've watched Book Bombs play out before but I've never seen one be quite this successful. This is the power of social media in action! If you want to see the details, visit Larry's blog.

Writing Fiction: Using the Senses by Rebecca Talley

2011-11-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

When writing fiction, it’s important to utilize as many of the senses as possible.

The more you can include the senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste the more your readers will “feel” your story.

As writers, we tend to use sight most frequently. We describe what our characters see more often than any other sense. We are visual and that comes out in our writing.

The next most used sense is sound. We write what our characters can hear. This adds more dimension to our stories, especially when we combine it with sight. Usually, sight and sound seem to describe enough. However, we are shortchanging our readers when we only use sight and sound.

When I was a kid, I used to go to the beach all the time. I’d stop at the snack shop and for a few pennies I’d buy green apple bubble gum and chew it while I was at the beach. To this day, whenever I smell green apple bubble gum, I think of the beach. Similarly, whenever I smell a certain perfume I always think of my mother. Coffee and burned toast remind me of spending the night at my grandmother’s house. Think about smells in your life and how they remind you of certain events. The same can be true for your writing. You can evoke a certain mood by including specific scents.

You can also pull readers further into your story by including touch. Was something rough, smooth, cold, hot, slimy, sticky, or gritty? Including touch can enhance your scene and involve your reader more fully in your writing.

The same is true for taste. Can your character taste the salt on her lips while she walks along the seashore? What about the tinny taste of blood in your character’s mouth after he’s been hit in the face? Use taste to bring your scene to life.

To develop more sensitivity to your senses try keeping a sense journal for a few days, or longer. Write down everything you see, hear, touch, smell, or taste. You’ll find that as you keep this journal, you’ll become more aware of your senses and then you’ll be able to use them more effectively in your writing.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. She now lives in rural CO on a small ranch with a dog, a spoiled horse, too many cats, and a herd of goats. She and her husband, Del, are the proud parents of ten multi-talented and wildly-creative children. Rebecca is the author of a children's picture book "Grasshopper Pie" (WindRiver 2003), three novels, "Heaven Scent" (CFI 2008), "Altared Plans" (CFI 2009), and "The Upside of Down" (CFI 2011), and numerous magazine stories and articles. You can visit her blog at www.rebeccatalleywrites.blogspot.com.

Friday Funny: NaNo Style (plus something serious)

2011-11-11T07:00:00.002-07:00

"Knock, Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Write."

"Write who?"

"Write."

"Uhm, yeah. You already said that. Write who?"

"Write."

"Whatever."

"Exactly, write whatever."

~John Waverly

And speaking of NaNo. Do you need a little extra support to get you going? Visit WriteChat.net.

What is WriteChat? "WriteChat is just a chat room for writers to…write. And chat. And share. And be pushed and spanked and whipped into accountability. It is for all genres and subgenres and subsubsubgenres."

Run by Elizabeth Beeton (aka Moriah Jovan), they feature 20 minute timed writing sprints, where you share your word count and a snippet of your work (if you want). According to Beeton, "It's been packed for NaNo. A couple of NYT bestsellers come in every day to get their word count in. We make sure the people are over 18 and make sure sensibilities are respected as to content and conversation. There are a bunch of specialty rooms and people can create their own rooms on the fly."

I'm going to be checking this out as I am—once again—sorely behind in my NaNo Word Count.

Supporting Your Facebook Friends

2011-11-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

After reading Michael Young's posts on Facebook Fanpages, I hope all of you published (or very soon to be published) authors have created your fanpage.

Now it's time to spread the love.

If you have a Facebook Fanpage, paste your link in the comments. It doesn't have to be fully customized or functional yet. Just let us know it exists.

Readers, please go support your favorite authors by "liking" their fanpages.

Integrating Your Facebook Fanpage (Pt 3) by Michael Young

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

The last step in maximizing your Facebook Fanpage is to integrate that page into your website, blog and other social networking sites.

Phase 3: Integrating Your Page

1. Link to your new fanpage.
Put a link or button to your new fanpage on your regular Facebook profile, your blog, and anywhere else you can think of.

You can find some nice buttons and instructions for installing them at http://www.socialmediabuttons.com/. There are other places to get buttons too, but this is the one I use.

2. Sync your fan page.
If you like, you can sync many popular blogging platforms with your Facebook fanpage. I have my Blogger-based website to update my Facebook fanpage every time I write a new post with a link to that post on my fanpage wall.

[LDSP: A simple way to do this is using the Notes function on FB or an app like Networked Blogs. Both are quick, easy and automatic once you set them up. Fans can read your entire post without visiting your blog.

Or another option is to use a program like HootSuite. It takes a little more work, but it lets you schedule which blog posts to sync, including archived articles. HootSuite allows you to offer a teaser on your FB page, but then the reader has to click to your blog to read your actual article.

There are pros and cons to both options. Pick the one that works for you.]

There are many other aspects of a fanpage, but that should be enough to get you started. It is a great place to announce things and interact with fans.

You can take a look at what I have done at my page: http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung, or if you have any questions about how to set up and configure your own page, feel free to shoot me an email: thecanticlekingdom@gmail.com.

Good luck!

Michael D. Young is the author of the novels The Canticle Kingdom and The Last Archangel. He is also the author of the inspirational pamphlet "Portrait of a Mother". His work has been featured in various online and print magazines such as Mindflights, The New Era, Allegory, and Ensign. You can visit him at his website, www.writermike.com, and his facebook fanpage, http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung.

Customizing Your Facebook Fanpage (Pt 2) by Michael Young

2011-11-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

After you've created your Facebook fanpage, you need to customize it to fit your needs and to maximize exposure of your books.

Phase 2: Customize Your Page

1. Add content to your page.
Upload videos and photos of you at book signings, readings, school visits—anything that provides evidence that “hey, I'm a real author.” I have a picture of each one of my books with a comment that has information about it and a purchase link.

Photo of my book.

2. Fill out the info section.
Include more links, and a little more about yourself as an author, including what sorts of books you like to read. I also include my author biography here.

3. Get 25 fans as quickly as you can.
You will not be able to get a custom URL for your Facebook page until you have at least 25 fans. Post on your main profile about your page, send out emails, post to other social networks—do whatever you can to get 25 fans (people who “like” your page) as quickly as possible.

4. Rename your URL with a custom name.
When you first create your page, its URL with be: www.facebook.com/pages/(something over which you have no control)

Not exactly something you can drop in a conversation or put on a bookmark. Once you have your 25 fans (likes), you can customize your URL.

To do this, click on “Edit Page” in the top right corner and then click on “Resources” on the left-hand menu. Finally, click on “Select a username”. You will then be able to choose a name, provided that it is not already taken.

NOTE: Think your name decision through very carefully. You with NOT be able to change it once you have set it.

I chose the name “authormichaelyoung” and now my URL reads http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung. Much easier.

5. Create Custom Tabs and Pages:
There are many free programs that will allow you to create custom tabs on your Facebook fanpage, which enhance the look and utility of the page. Here are a few I’ve used. (There are many more.)

http://www.pagemodo.com: The free version allows you to create a custom landing page that new visitors to your page will see. It is easy to customize and produces great results. (I have one for my page. If you haven’t “liked” it yet, you should see it when you pull it up. If you have, you can click on the “Welcome” tab to see it.)

http://www.rafflecopter.com: This is an amazing free site that allows you to create stress-free giveaways. They have instructions on their site once you have registered about how to create a “Giveaways” tab on your Facebook page. Check out my page to see what this looks like.

http://www.goodreads.com: If you search for Goodreads on Facebook, you can gain access to a free app that will display your books and reviews from Goodreads as a tab on your Facebook page. You need to register as an author as Goodreads.com first.

Tomorrow: Phase 3: Integrating Your Page

Michael D. Young is the author of the novels The Canticle Kingdom and The Last Archangel. He is also the author of the inspirational pamphlet "Portrait of a Mother". His work has been featured in various online and print magazines such as Mindflights, The New Era, Allegory, and Ensign. You can visit him at his website, www.writermike.com, and his facebook fanpage, http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung.

Creating Your Own Facebook Fanpage, Part 1 by Michael Young

2011-11-07T07:00:00.002-07:00

This is part 1 of a 3 part tutorial on creating and customizing a Facebook Fanpage—something EVERY published author should have. ~LDSP

Let’s face it. As an author, you don’t necessarily want to share everything will your fans. You probably don’t want to them all to see every picture of your kids or the invite to your family barbecue with an occasional message about your writing.

Instead, you want to use your Facebook page to build your brand as a writer with a specific message to your specific fans. Luckily, building such a page is both simple and can be completely free.

Here is a list of simple steps that will take you from square one to...a much more advanced square.

Phase 1: Create Your Page

1. From your Facebook account, click on “Pages” on the left hand menu.

2. Click on the button that says “Create a Page”.

3. Select “Artist, Band or Public Figure” and then choose “Author” from the dropdown menu.

4. Choose a name and agree to the terms.

5. Choose a profile image. (The cover of one of your books works well, or your author headshot)

6. Invite your friends and announce the creation of your page on your main profile.

7. Enter the address of your website or blog and a short description that gives visitors an idea of what you write.

8. Viola! Your page is born.

Tomorrow: Phase 2: Customize Your Page

Michael D. Young is the author of the novels The Canticle Kingdom and The Last Archangel. He is also the author of the inspirational pamphlet "Portrait of a Mother". His work has been featured in various online and print magazines such as Mindflights, The New Era, Allegory, and Ensign. You can visit him at his website, www.writermike.com, and his facebook fanpage, http://www.facebook.com/authormichaelyoung.

Friday Funny: NaNo Style

2011-11-04T07:00:00.003-06:00

A Nanowrimo participant and her daughter were out trick or treating. A man opened the door and said to the little girl, "What are you supposed to be?"

"A ballerina," she said as she twirled in a circle. He dropped a piece of candy in her bag.

"And what are you supposed to be?" he asked the older woman who was wearing vampire teeth, had quotes pinned to her shirt, and was carrying a dictionary.

"I'm the Word Count," the woman said with a thick, fake accent.

"Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?"

"Probably, but I'm going to need all the chocolate I can get."

~John Waverly

Selling Short Stories (pt 2)

2011-11-03T07:00:00.001-06:00

Do you know of any markets for short stories?

Magazines are the largest markets for short stories. Check the current Novel & Short Story Writer's Market. You can usually find these at your local library. Some libraries will let you check them out, others won't—so bring pen & paper, or change for the copy machine.

Not only does this resource book list places to sell your short stories, it also contains writing tips and hints for polishing your work and how to submit.

As for anthologies, try googling "short story anthology submissions" to find sites that are looking for stories to publish. You can also google "short story contests." Many of these contests are seeking submissions for an anthology or will publish the winners. While contests will often have a submission fee, a legit publisher simply calling for anthology submissions will not require an entry fee, an edit fee, or that you purchase published copies of the book. Some of these anthologies pay cash, others pay in copies.

A few annual contests and anthologies that are particularly interested in LDS writers are:

Cedar Fort Holiday Story Contest (Deadline December 2, 2011)
Segullah's Annual Fiction Contest (Deadline December 31)
AML's Irreantum Contests (Deadline August 31)
and there's always my annual Christmas story contest (the best of which eventually end up in an anthology)

There are also some national contests, like:

This is a quick and very short list I found by googling "short story contests". You can also google by genre, for example "romance short story contest".

Readers, if you know of a call for short story submissions that is open right now, please put the link in the comments.

Writing Short Stories (pt 1)

2011-11-02T07:00:00.006-06:00

What makes a short story stand out to you? What must a short story have to be publishable?

The same thing as for any good writing—a strong character I can relate to, a plot of some sort, plus a twist. That twist is especially important for a short story—it's that thing that makes you think, the idea you keep coming back to days or months after you've read it.

I found some sites that talk about writing short stories:

Short Stories: 10 Tips for Creative Writers
What Makes a Good Short Story?
Common Faults in Short Stories (this one is especially good)

Is there a benefit to writing short stories if there isn't much of a market?

Absolutely! It's a great way to practice writing and to sharpen your skills. Even if you never sell your stories, it will help with your writing development. Here's how:

November 2011 Prize Sponsors

2011-11-01T10:23:00.008-06:00

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

Please take a moment to learn more about this month's wonderfully generous sponsors.

Hidden in the Heart by Roseanne E. Wilkins

Cathee is an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She has suffered from severe post traumatic stress disorder for several years.

During a vacation with her four year old daughter to Topeka, Kansas, she meets Garrett, a therapist. He hopes Cathee will let him help her work through her issues, but her past has come back to haunt her.

Roseanne Evans Wilkins: was the second oldest of 9 children, so I grew up in a house full of noisy kids. Craig grew up in a house with just 2 quiet kids. Opposites attract lol. Since I'm the one home, we filled the house with kids. I'd go crazy with silence. Craig manages the noise level by traveling all over the U.S. teaching other adults how to audit.

With 5 kids in sports, I keep busy running them to their practices and games. After hectic days running kids everywhere and taking care of three pre-schoolers, I find quiet time after everyone is in bed to write. I hope you enjoy the results :).

You can visit Roseanne at her blog, Roseanne's Spot.

NYC: Murder Brooklyn Style by Loraine Scott

Book 2 in the Summer Winter mystery series.

Sister Winter wants to leave a small token of her regard to the recently deceased Raul French, but when she returns to the viewing room she is started to find that his arm has been moved. Then she notices that the gold wedding band she and Elder Winter had forced onto Raul's corpulent pinkie is missing. Where could it be? Had the bratwurst arm they had so tenderly folded across Raul's chest moved on its own?

Unthinkable.

Mustering her courage, Sister Winter hefts up the sleeve of the borrowed suit. Not willing to trust what she sees, Sister Winter looks again. Yep, still there—another arm. In life, Raul French had only the customary two arms. Now, it seems, there are at least three!

Loraine Scott: I began writing 16 years ago while helping my husband complete a class he’d been assigned to take by the BART Police Department. Reading was never my husband’s forte. It was, however, mine. We struck a deal. We both read the books – all regarding leadership principles – we’d discuss the ideas, and then I’d write the reports. Happy to say he got all A’s on his papers and I was hooked on writing.

Two years after I was convinced I had what it takes to be a writer, I was hired as a Community Service Officer with the police department. I was very good at my job: burglary stakeouts, security patrols, guarding prisoners—just to name a few. I did not ever investigate a murder, although I believe I would have been good at it.

Retiring in 2004, we moved to Alpine, Utah. In 2005, we left for New York City to serve a twenty-three month mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One day, while sitting at my laptop in the mission office, where we worked part-time, my son called to tell me that he’d had a dream where two Senior Missionaries (namely, us) had found a dead body in the mission office and we had to solve the crime.

Voila! Summer Winter was born.

Pride and Popularity by Jenni James

Chloe Elizabeth Hart despises the conceited antics of the popular crowd, or more importantly, one very annoying self-possessed guy, Taylor Anderson, who seems determined to make her the president of his fan club!

As if!

Every girl in the whole city of Farmington, New Mexico, is in love with him, but he seems to be only interested in Chloe.

This modern high school adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is a battle of wits as Chloe desperately tries to remain the only girl who can avoid the inevitable falling for Taylor.

Jenni James: I'm married to a totally hot, redheaded Air Force Recruiter, named Mark. Together we have 10 kiddos (7 ours, 3 fostered). We have just moved back to the States after living 9 awesome years in the Azores Islands of Portugal and England! Our kids love the USA!

When I'm not writing up a storm, I enjoy reading, acting, portrait painting, directing plays, cooking, planning eleborate parties and chasing my kids around the house. Oh, and before you ask--I haven't been to college, YET! But I've always been able to write one mean essay when I needed to. *wink*

Learn more about Jenni and her upcoming books at her website.

Rearview Mirror by Stephanie Black

On a rainy night eight years ago, Fiona Claridge lost control of her car and crashed, injuring herself and killing her roommate, Mia Hardy. Now, she strives to keep the painful past at bay by staying burrowed beneath the demands of her job as a college professor in a small New England town. But when someone starts leaving her gift-wrapped boxes containing malicious reminders of Mia’s death, Fiona’s guilt and grief come flooding back.

She assumes her stalker is Kimberly Bailey, a disgruntled student, and enlists the help of fellow professor James Hampton. But when Fiona encounters the angry wife of an old flame, it becomes clear her student isn’t the only one with an eye for revenge. Cruel messages escalate to danger, then murder. As past and present become horribly entangled, Fiona struggles to unravel the truth about a determined killer—before she becomes the next victim.

Stephanie Black: I’ve enjoyed making up stories since I was a child, when my sisters and I would play long, strange Barbie games or write and direct plays for ourselves and younger siblings. I took a creative writing class in high school, but my stories stunk, since I hadn’t yet figured out that a story needs a plot. But I finally got a fun idea, and an encouraging comment from the teacher got me rolling.

After a few years of writing random scenes, I decided to try writing a novel start to finish, but that led to a failed unfinished manuscript and the realization that there was a lot more to writing fiction than I’d ever understood. I began reading books about fiction technique and started over with my novel project.

After many years of reading technique books, writing, rewriting, more rewriting, submitting, and then—when I thought I was finished—major rewriting, my first novel, a futuristic thriller called The Believer, was published by Covenant Communications in January 2005. I then turned to writing contemporary suspense, and Fool Me Twice was released in 2008, followed by Methods of Madness (2009) and Cold as Ice (2010). Fool Me Twice and Methods of Madness are both Whitney Award winners for Best Mystery/Suspense.

CLICK HERE for details on how to win these books.

CLICK HERE for details on sponsoring the contest.

October 2011 Prize Winners

2011-11-01T08:55:00.005-06:00

Here are the randomly selected winners of last month's Comment Contest.

Thanks again to our sponsors. Please take a moment to read their info here.

The Alias

by

Mandi Tucker Slack

Winner: Sher A. Hart

Commenting on: "10 Our Christmas Spirit"

The Armor of Light

by

Karen E. Hoover

Winner: Angie

Commenting on: "2011 Christmas Story Contest Winners!"

The Next Door Boys

by

Jolene B. Perry

Winner: Gina

Commenting on: "Did You Just Call Me a Dinosaur?!?"

The Outer Edge of Heaven

by

Jaclyn Hawkes

Winner: Danyelle Ferguson

Commenting on: "Not My Type by Melanie Jacobson"

Tangled Hearts

by

Roseanne Evans Wilkins

Winner: Kate

Commenting on: "NaNoWriMo: Plot and Conflict by Danyelle Ferguson"

The Upside of Down

by

Rebecca Talley

Winner: Lois

Commenting on: "NaNoToons"

To claim your prize, you must e-mail your mailing address to me by Friday, November 4, 2011.

(Unclaimed prizes will be up for grabs later.)

Click here to learn how you can win a copy of one of our sponsoring books.

Click here for details on sponsoring the LDS Publisher blogs.

NaNoToons

2011-10-28T07:00:00.001-06:00

More NaNoToons here.

More NaNoWriMo Tips

2011-10-27T07:00:00.001-06:00

Here are a few more links to NaNoWriMo Tips.

Just don't get so involved in reading about tips that you forget to prepare yourself for the WRITING EVENT OF THE YEAR!

NaNoWriMo Tips and Tricks, or SHUT IT AND WRITE
10 NaNoWriMo Tips
NaNoWriMo Veterans Share Their Secrets
(I especially like #8)
NaNoWriMo Progress Forms

Found other tips that you think are awesome? Put a link to the site in the comments.

NaNoWriMo: Plot and Conflict by Danyelle Ferguson

2011-10-26T07:00:00.000-06:00

The count down is on. One week left before your sprint to 50K begins. Are you ready?

If you're like me, then the answer is, well, not quite.

You see, I've been going through my story files and it's taken forever to narrow the choices down to THE ONE. But now that I have THE ONE, I'm looking at it and all I have is a blurb about the main character and a couple of scene ideas. Which means I'm so not ready for NaNoWriMo.

What to do? What to do?

The answer: PLOT & CONFLICT

To succeed at NaNoWriMo, you need to have at least a general outline of the book's plot. Just to know where the story is going. This outline is not set in stone. In fact, it will probably take some twists and turns you weren't expecting as you write and get to know your characters better. But believe me, that general outline is a life saver when you're getting ready for a word sprint, but you aren't sure where the next scene needs to lead you.

I did some Googling and found some excellent resources to develop plots for NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo Prep: Plot Development and Profile Worksheets, Visualizing Collage and More by Iconclastic Writer

This blog post has AWESOME worksheets you can download for free. Isn't free such a happy word?

Tools to Help You Plot Your NaNoWriMo Novel by Jennifer Blanchard @ Procrastinating Writers

On this blog post, you'll find a bunch of different plotting techniques, including using index cards & the fabulous Larry Brooks Story Structure series.

Now, on to conflict - the wonderful device that drives your story. This is when you call up your writers group and host a brainstorming session. Write down gobs of conflict ideas - both internal and external. Josi Kilpack once said (and I'm totally paraphrasing & adding some of my own words - but it's her concept) that you need to put your character up in a tree. You start off by throwing rocks at him, then even bigger rocks, until you bring in a catapult and launch boulders at the poor sucker. Bring in the soldiers and shoot arrows at the dude. And just when you think he might surrender - set the tree on fire!

Conflict, Conflict, Conflict.

That is what you need to keep your story moving, flowing, and interesting. And if you need some inspiration, check out this sweet little puppy.

Now, I need to get moving on my plot outline and call some friends to set up a brainstorming session. How's your plotting going? Are you ready?

Danyelle Ferguson is the author of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ. She's also a public speaker to churches and disability groups, freelance editor and book reviewer. She lives in Kansas with her hubby and four angels-in-training. For more information, you can check out her blog (www.QueenOfTheClan.com) or her website (www.DanyelleFerguson.com).

Let's Go NaNo!

2011-10-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

I decided to turn this into a NaNo week—all week long.

Why? Because as I've said a bazillion and a half times over the past 5 years, if you want to be a writer, you have to write! And NaNo is a great way to do it.

Have you signed up yet? No? Well, let's do it together.

Go here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
Click the Sign Up link & enter your information.
Under My NaNoWriMo, click on each of the links. Set up your account, author and novel info. Set your region, so you can get info on live events near you.
Then go here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/webbadges and get yourself a web badge. Put it on your blog, website, facebook page or wherever you have an online presence. (See? Mine is already on my sidebar.)
Hopefully, they'll have the Writing Buddies page live soon. When it's ready, go find your friends. (Leave your NaNo name in the comments trail so we can all be friends.)
Then spend this week getting ready. (Read these posts by Danyelle Ferguson)

NaNoWriMo: What's Your Goal? by Danyelle Ferguson

2011-10-24T07:00:00.003-06:00

[Stepping up the NaNoWriMo posts because it starts in a week! Sign up HERE.]

I love National Novel Writing Month. It's a great way to kick your tush into gear and challenge yourself. The traditional goal of NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

But what if you already know life isn't going to cooperate so you can achieve it. Does that mean you should just ditch the challenge all together?

No way!

Set a goal that works for YOU.

If something major is happening that will require the majority of your time and attention, then adjust your word count goal. Maybe it will be to hit 25K. Setting a goal and putting a word counter on your computer desktop, blog or website, will motivate you to take 30 minutes to get out a couple hundred words. If you do that four times a day, you could average 800-1,000 words a day. Multiply that by 30 and you've reached your goal! If that still sounds like too much, then adjust the word count.

If you don't set a goal, then you may put your writing aside for the whole month. Give yourself the opportunity to take on the challenge.

What if you just finished another manuscript and don't have another one plotted out yet?

Well, you have two options: 1. You've got about 10 days to do some plotting and brainstorming, then just jump in and see where it leads you, or 2. You can set your goal to edit, rather than write. That's perfectly fine.

The important thing about National Novel Writing Month is to be working on your novel. Whatever stage your in, set a goal to give you a kick in the pants.

So, what's your goal for NaNoWriMo?

Danyelle Ferguson is the author of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ. She's also a public speaker to churches and disability groups, freelance editor and book reviewer. She lives in Kansas with her hubby and four angels-in-training. For more information, you can check out her blog (www.QueenOfTheClan.com) or her website (www.DanyelleFerguson.com).

About the Book of Mormon Stories...

2011-10-22T08:56:00.003-06:00

I've got some bad news...

First a bit of explanation. I was clear across the country from my PC when some of you informed me you had not received the critiques on your Book of Mormon short stories. I got back to my PC the first week of this month and I immediately looked for the files.

They weren't where I thought they would be. I continued to search to no avail. Then I remembered—and realized they were probably casualties in the great computer crash of Spring 2011. I went back through my offline storage files, but they weren't there either. The only thing I can think is that I moved them from my main computer to the PC and the crash happened before my weekly back-up.

Unfortunately, the score sheets and line edits are probably lost forever.

However, I was able to recover the file where I gave each story a score of 1-5 and a brief summary of my thoughts. I will send that info to those of you who've requested it. I know it's not the same but it's the best I can do—and I sincerely apologize for both the delay and the lack of in-depth feedback.

Prepping Your Family for NaNoWriMo by Danyelle Ferguson

2011-10-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

I consulted with my hubby, John (aka John Waverly), before writing this post. You see, last year he was the one who picked up the slack and took care of our family while I wrote like mad. He had some very good points that NaNoWriMo participants and their families should consider before November 1st hits.

Be Realistic

If you already schedule 4-5 hours a day for your writing, then you can probably stop reading this post right now. But if you're like the majority of writers out there, your writing time is probably more sporadic. Achieving your NaNoWriMo goal of 50K in 30 days takes a commitment equivalent to adding a part-time job into your schedule.

Think about it: If you write an average of 500 words an hour, then it will take 100 hours to hit 50K. But wait! We need to add in time for writers block, brainstorming, and, if you attend any write-ins, potty breaks and socializing. Let's say that's about another 20 hours of time. So now we're at 120 hours to achieve your NaNoWriMo goal. Which equals a 4 hour time commitment every day. Now me, I don't write on Sundays. I leave that day for church and family, which is especially important when I'm cramming so much writing time in the rest of the week. I try to write about 6 hours a day during NaNoWriMo.

Reprioritize Your Schedule

If you already work a full-time job - and face it, we all do no matter whether it's inside or outside the home - then you, personally, need to be willing to give up a lot during those 30 days.

No TV

No books

Cut back on the gym

Take the month off from volunteering at kids' schools

Postpone any Girls or Guys Night Outs

No movies (yes, this includes the next Twilight movie. Trust me, it will still be playing two weeks after the release)

You'll find a good chunk of writing time just by doing this. But it's still going to take more. And any free time you do have, should definitely be spent with your family and helping around the house.

Get Your Family on Board

During the writing challenge, you'll spend a lot less time with your family. The further you get into the month, the more tired, frustrated, and emotional your spouse will get. Trust me, I know. My hubby is THE most supportive writer's spouse I have ever met. Last year, I started out November by hosting a writers retreat out-of-state. I was gone for a week. Then the rest of the month, I went to write-ins 3 times a week and had online write-ins the other nights - not to mention the writing I did during the day. I slacked on laundry, have a very dim recollection of helping clean, and it was a happy day if I remembered to put in a meal in the crock pot. By the time the 20th hit, he was totally read for November to be over. Here's how we survived without getting a divorce. =)

Before NaNoWriMo kicks-off, sit down with your spouse to go over both of your schedules together. Keep in mind that you don't get to take over the schedule just cause it's NaNoWriMo. Your spouse has commitments, too, and needs support as well. My hubby is the Cub Scout Master for our church. Each month he plans a pack meeting, hosts a committee meeting, and has a district meeting to attend. I made sure to be home to take care of the munchkins so he could fulfill those important commitments.

Both of you need to come prepared with lists of activities. For you, that will be regional write ins you want to attend, work schedules, and commitments you can't cancel. You'll need a list of activities for your kids and your spouse, too. Now figure out how you can juggle home and family responsibilities in a way that's agreeable for you and your spouse. Be sure to plan time for family time and work out a meal schedule. Our family budgeted extra money to eat out. Each week, we planned two crock pot meals, ate out twice, had two left-overs/whatever nights, and made pancakes each Sunday for dinner. We tried to make things as simple as possible to keep stress levels down.

If you have older kids, get them in on the meeting too.They are much better with schedule changes when they've been in on the decision making and are more willing to help out with extra chores. Usually. If the moon and the stars all align just right . . . or if you provide the right incentives. Which brings me to the best part . . .

Set Goals & Rewards

No one wants to mess up their happy routine, but they'll grin and bear it for someone they love . . . especially if you create rewards that include your spouse and kids.

Pull together a family meeting and together set rewards for when you hit certain word count goals. For example, when you hit 10K host a root beer float party. Might I also suggest that when you hit the halfway point (25K), that you let you kids have a movie & popcorn night while you take your spouse out on a celebratory date night. Both of you take a break - no talking about writing or schedules, just a night of fun and laughter. And of course, there's the big pay off when you hit 50K. Plan something that your family loves, but doesn't get to do very often. Maybe it's a night at the movies, a new family Wii game, or taking a weekend vacation. Make NaNoWriMo as fun for your family as possible.

The Most Important Things

Communication is key. Talk often with your spouse and munchkins. Express your appreciation for their support. If someone is stressed out or upset, be willing to set aside your writing for a few minutes and let them vent. Give them hugs. When things are settled again, get back to work. Nothing is more important than your family, but your family can accomplish anything when they work together.

Facebook Ads

2011-10-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

Do you think it's worth it to place an ad on Facebook?

Readers, I'm going to need some help on this one.

I don't really know a lot about Facebook or Facebook ads. As anyone who is my friend already knows (and if you aren't my friend, come friend me), I had someone set my account up to include my posts there automatically. I try to log in every couple of weeks and see what's going on, but I don't usually post anything. So my advice is do what I say and not what I do.

Every author should have a Facebook Page, which is different that a basic account or a group. My understanding is that it allows you to have more friends, a vanity URL, and the ability to use fancy promo widgets. Make sure you have images of your books, links to your website and blog, and other info. Remember, this is a page for fans, so think before you post things.

As to Facebook ads, anybody out there try one? Did you feel it was successful?

(P.S. If you are Facebook savvy and you'd like to do a guest post here on setting up and using Facebook fan pages as a marketing tool, PLEASE, read this and send me an e-mail.)

Writing Devices by Rebecca Talley

2011-10-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

You can change the feeling of your writing by employing some writing devices.

For example, if you are writing a tense scene where the protagonist is being threatened, short, choppy sentences will enhance the feeling you’re trying to create. Fast-paced scenes need shorter sentences to convey that quick movement. Think of a quickened heartbeat and you get the idea of how your sentences should be constructed.

Conversely, if you’re writing a love scene you’ll want to have longer, more flowing sentences to add to the romantic feel of the passage. Draw the scene out by using more words, even flowery descriptions, to communicate a sense of love and romance.

Other writing devices include:

Alliteration: using several words with the same beginning sound/letter. Example: “Across the arid Arizona desert she argued with herself for allowing him to confuse her again.”

Onomatopoeia: the word consists of the sound it makes. Example: “I heard the whoosh of the water a moment before it hit me.”

Anaphora: using the same word or phrase to begin three or more consecutive sentences. Example: “He knew she loved him. He knew she couldn’t live without him. He knew it was only a matter of time and she’d be his.”

Asyndeton: when using a list of three or more items, omit the conjunctions. Example: “I was happy, jubilant, carefree, innocent.”

Polysyndeton: using conjunctions, such as “and” or “or,” multiple times in a sentence. Example: “She talked on and on and on.”

Epistrophe: using a key word or phrase at the end of successive sentences. Example: “She opened the front door, afraid he might be there. She tiptoed to the bedroom, afraid he might be there. She checked the basement, afraid he might be there.”

After you’ve written your first draft and it’s time to edit, you may want to include some of these writing techniques to enhance your writing.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, CA. She now lives in rural CO on a small ranch with a dog, a spoiled horse, too many cats, and a herd of goats. She and her husband, Del, are the proud parents of ten multi-talented and wildly-creative children. Rebecca is the author of a children's picture book "Grasshopper Pie" (WindRiver 2003), three novels, "Heaven Scent" (CFI 2008), "Altared Plans" (CFI 2009), and "The Upside of Down" (CFI 2011), and numerous magazine stories and articles. You can visit her blog at www.rebeccatalleywrites.blogspot.com.

Did You Just Call Me a Dinosaur?!?

2011-10-18T09:26:00.005-06:00

Statement:
I am an LDS author who announced last year I would embrace the new eBook phenomenon and self-publish 12 Books in 12 months (#11 is due for release June 1st)
Question:
With traditional publishing going the way of the dinosaur (if they won't agree to a massive makeover) how does this affect you and your work?

Did I answer this question already? It seems familiar but it was still in my questions folder. So if this is a repeat, sorry.

First, good for you! I'm glad you're meeting your goals.

Second, as I've said before, and I will now repeat, the biggest issue I have with self-publishing and cranking out those e-books is the lack of quality control—particularly in the areas of editing, book production, and targeted promotion and marketing.

It's really hard for me to believe that someone can write and publish a book in one month, twelve months in a row, and have the end result be a quality reading experience. I'm willing to be wrong on that, but I seriously doubt that I am.

I don't believe traditional publishing is going the way of the dinosaur, nor do I believe it needs a "massive" makeover. Yes, there are definitely things that need to change to keep up with technology and consumer expectations. But a savvy publisher is going to be doing this anyway, all the time. None of the big publishing houses are still doing business the way they did back in the early 1900s.

But to say that self-publishing and/or ebooks will put publishers out of business implies a basic lack of understanding of what a publisher does. A book is always going to need good editing. It's always going to need someone to design and typeset a visually appealing product. It's always going to need marketing to bookstores and to readers. It's always going to need someone to make the initial monetary investment, create a solid budget, figure out how to recoup the cost, and track all the other numbers that determine the success of a book.

Most of the time, an author succeeds because they are good at writing; they have a talent for stringing words and phrases together to create a captivating story. This is an entirely different skill set than the one a publisher has. In fact, in most publishing houses, there are multiple people, each of which has ONE of the above mentioned skill sets—all of which are required to produce and market a book that will sell well.

It's not that some authors can't do it all. It's that most of them aren't highly skilled in every single aspect of producing a quality end product that will compete with products created by a team of people, each of which is (theoretically) highly skilled in what they do.

And for self-pubs and indies who say, "Well, I hire people to do what I'm not good at..."—then aren't you, in effect, creating a publishing company?

Bottom line, how will it effect me and my work? It doesn't. Not if I'm good at what I do.

NaNoWriMo: It's Time to Step Up and Accept the Challenge by Danyelle Ferguson

2011-10-14T07:00:00.000-06:00

It's that time of the year when the air is crisp, roads are lined with a gorgeous flaming foliage, and writers worldwide prepare to be thrust into the hellish adrenaline rush of National Novel Writing Month, affectionately referred to as NaNoWriMo.

30 days of scraping every single spare moment to reach the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words.

What? You think this doesn't sound like that big of a deal? Did you miss my reference to hell?

My friends, we're talking about a brand spanking new manuscript. A novel the writer has done nothing more than (hopefully) plotted out. When November 1st hits, writers everywhere glue their fingers to the keyboard and create the very first sentence that will lead them on a journey to fill over 100 typed pages. 100 pages! When was the last time you heard a student complain because he had to write a 10 page report in three weeks? They are wimps compared to the awesomeness of NaNoWriMo competitors.

But . . . but. . . . but . . .

No excuses! You CAN do this! And over the next few weeks, I'm going to blog about HOW you can reach, conquer, and surpass the NaNoWriMo 50K goal. Now, repeat after me:

I AM A WRITER!

MY SPEEDY FINGERS CAN CREATE NOVEL WRITING MAGIC!

I WILL ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE!

Now get your mouse over here and click on this link to sign up for NaNoWriMo!

There are a few important things you need to do while you're on the NaNoWriMo site:

TIME ZONE: Under the tab "My NaNoWriMo", go to "Edit User Settings". It's very important that you set your Time Zone. If you don't set it correctly, it can totally backfire on you. Especially if you're in the final hour of NaNoWriMo and finally hit your 50K goal, then go to verify your win on the official website . . . and you realize you put in your time zone wrong and your account is closed. I know people who've had this happen and it's major, major suckage. So do it now, do it right, and then you can do the Happy Happy Dance and claim all your fabulous prizes at the end of the month.
YOUR REGION: "Set My Home Region". Here you can choose the region closest to you and join. There are a couple of reasons to do this. It's fun to see how many writers are in your area. You can also track how many words your area has written compared to other areas. The best part is your region sets up Write Ins. These are locations where the region captains have talked with businesses, libraries, etc to set up times for NaNoWriMo participants to come together. There's quiet writing time, a bit of socializing and - my favorite part - writing sprints! Last year, my goal was to attend two Write Ins each week - and they were totally worth it!
NOTIFICATIONS: Under the tab "My NaNoWriMo", go to "Set My Notifications". The automatic settings have you unsubscribed to all notifications. I recommend that you subscribe to the Prep Talks, NaNo Videos, and your region emails.

There are some fun things you can do while on your NaNoWriMo account, too. You can fill out your author info, give a blurb about your book, and connect with other Writing Buddies. Towards the end of October, check out the Fun Stuff tab. There you'll find updated badges to post on your blog or website, a word count widget, and other great stuff.

Update from NaNoWriMo website:

Drumroll please.... On October 7 at 10 AM Pacific, we are merging the user databases of the old and new websites in preparation for Monday's launch. (Ten Ten! Fist pump!)

That is a fancy way of saying that if you update your profile, novel info, or user settings after 10 AM Pacific on Friday, your changes won't show up when the site launches on Monday.

So, if you haven't signed up for NaNoWriMo yet, wait until Monday morning. Be sure to put it on your phone's calendar, sticky note attached to your monitor, or whatever works best for you to remember to get it done! =)

GO NANOWRIMO 2011!

Danyelle Ferguson is the author of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ. She's also a public speaker to churches and disability groups, freelance editor and book reviewer. She lives in Kansas with her hubby and four angels-in-training. For more information, you can check out her blog (www.QueenOfTheClan.com) or her website (www.DanyelleFerguson.com).

How Do I Get a Book Review?

2011-10-13T07:00:00.001-06:00

I've self published a book [XYZ for ABC'ers] because there isn't any books in the lds market for this age group. I couldn't get Deseret Book, Covenant Comm or Cedar Fort interested in my manuscript because they said the niche was too small. Any suggestions on how to get a book review out there in LDS magazines or?

First off, I'd suggest a blog promo tour. (Click here for great tips on doing your own blog tour from Danyelle Ferguson.)

Or you could hire someone to help you set one up. (Another regular guest blogger here, Tristi Pinkston, coordinates virtual book tours.)

If you do it on your own, first set a budget. You'll need to send out review packets which should contain a copy of your book AND a press kit. Determine how much it will cost you to create and ship each packet and the number of reviewers you can afford to send it to.

Then, make a list. Include both LDS print magazines (Google: LDS magazines) and LDS bloggers who do book reviews (Google: LDS book reviewers). Go to their websites, particularly their information pages, and see if they review LDS non-fiction. Read some of their reviews to see if you like their style. Read their guidelines for submitting a book for review. (It seems like I'm giving the same advice to everyone this week.)

Find magazines that have a wide distribution and review blogs that have high traffic and hit counts. Cross off any reviewer who expects you to pay for the review or who requires you to run an ad. Then sort your list in the order of preference. You're looking for reviewers who do an in-depth review, who are honest and fair, and who seem predisposed to enjoy the type of book you've written. (For example, if they only review fiction, your non-fiction book might not be a good match for them. Or if you write fantasy, don't send your book to someone who has never given a fantasy book a positive review.) Once you've got a good list, you're almost ready to go.

But, wait! DON'T SEND THE PACKET YET!

Send an email to the magazine/blogger first. The email should be a customized version of your cover letter (as described here). Ask if they'd be interested in reviewing your book. Ask about their review schedule—if they can't get to your book for six months, they're not a good option. For bloggers, you can give them a time frame of when you'd like the review to post.

Once the reviewer has said they're interested and they have the time to review your book on your schedule, THEN mail the packet. Follow up in a week to make sure they got it.

One very important note about asking for reviews: Do not assume you'll get a glowing review. You might—and if you've done your homework well, you've stacked the deck in your favor. But, no matter what the review, do not argue with it. Do not fight. Do not leave nasty comments on the blog or send mean emails. After the review prints/posts, simply thank the reviewer for their time. If it's a print magazine, send them a nice thank you note in the mail. If it's a blogger, leave a nice thank you comment on the review post.

Readers, other ideas or advice?

Where Do I Submit a Story with a Taboo Topic?

2011-10-12T07:00:00.003-06:00

I have just finished writing a book about the true story of placing my baby for adoption. I wrote it hoping to go through an LDS publisher, and it's completely clean and has many spiritual aspects. I still wonder if LDS publishers would find the topic of teen pregnancy too taboo, even though it sends a great, positive message. What do you think?

Another reader asked:

I am currently preparing a proposal for a Book I am writing about conversations with Heavenly Mother. It is the first of it's kind that I know of. Any suggestions?

Both of these topics deal with what might be called "taboo topics."

What do I think? I whole-heartedly agree with Brigham Young who said:

Upon the stage of a theatre can be represented in character, evil and its consequences, good and its happy results and rewards; the weakness and follies of man, the magnanimity of virtue and the greatness of truth. The stage can be made to aid the pulpit in impressing upon the minds of a community an enlightened sense of a virtuous life, also a proper horror of the enormity of sin with its thorns and pitfalls, its gins and snares can be revealed and how to shun it. (I don't have the exact reference for this. If you do, please leave it in the comments.)

I think this also applies to literature. Personally, I don't think any subject should be taboo—in and of itself. If it's happening out in the world, there will be members of our Church dealing with it on some level, great or small. If members of the Church are thinking about it or dealing with it, then they would probably appreciate a book on the topic.

How it's handled, however, is where I draw lines.

If a story is well-written, avoids use of things that would be offensive to most LDS readers (like gratuitous violence and language or detailed intimacy), and the main message supports the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ, then I'm good with it.

Unfortunately, not all LDS publishers are open to "difficult" or "unusual" topics. While individuals within the company may fully support books that deal with these tougher themes, the powers-that-be may feel the company reputation would be damaged by delving too deeply into the ways of the world or topics that aren't quite middle-of-the-road-Mormonism.

If the big three (Deseret Book, Covenant, Cedar Fort) reject you, you'll need to search a little harder to find a publisher who is willing to push the line a bit. They do exist.

I'm giving you the same advice that I gave on Monday. Make a list of LDS publishers. (I have a partial list here but no info or links yet, sorry.) Go to their websites and look at the books they publish. Have any of those books addressed themes similar to yours? Do they say in their submission guidelines that they're willing to consider and/or actively seek books that address your topic or theme? These would definitely be publishers who would consider your book.

And Speaking of Jamie Ford...

2011-10-11T07:00:00.000-06:00

You remember Jamie Ford, right? The LDS author whose book, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, was a 2009 Whitney Finalist and who was featured as a question on Jeopardy?

I was catching up on posts over on Pub Rants and found a link to this in the sidebar. I thought it might be fun for you to see the query letter and comments that caught the eye of his agent, Kristen Nelson.

(Above the *** by LDS Publisher)

******

(Below the *** stolen from Pub Rants, a blog by literary agent Kristen Nelson. )

Jamie Ford’s Query for
HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET

As promised and with Jamie’s permission, here is the query he sent me for his manuscript which was originally entitled THE PANAMA HOTEL.

For me, that title didn’t really capture the essence of the manuscript so we spent a lot of time kicking around alternatives before we went out on submission. It was quite a process but after sharing several forerunner titles with a variety of reliable sources, we agreed to HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET.

One of the fun things about this submission is that many editors loved the title and couldn’t imagine the novel being called anything else.

That means we did a good job. Random House hasn’t mentioned changing it so as far as we know, this will be the title for the book.

Dear Ms. Nelson:

I must admit I hate Asian stereotypes. You know the ones. Good at math. Hardworking. We all look alike. Come to think of it, that last one might hold water. After all, my father once wore a button that read “I am Chinese,” while growing up in Seattle’s Chinatown during WWII. It was the only thing that separated him from the Japanese, at least in the eyes of his Caucasian neighbors.

Sad, but true. Which is probably why my novel has a little to do with that particular piece of history.

I was really caught by his personal connection to the history he plans to explore. I've never heard of the "I am Chinese" buttons, which is kind of fascinating.

Anyway, the working title is The Panama Hotel, and when people ask me what the heck it’s all about I usually tell them this:
“It’s the story of the Japanese internment in Seattle, seen through the eyes of a 12-year-old Chinese boy, who is sent to an all-white private school, where he falls in love with a 12-year-old Japanese girl.”

I've never seen a novel about a Chinese boy falling in love with a Japanese girl during such a volatile time period. I have to say that I was pretty much hooked by this story concept. Simple but there's a lot of weight behind it. I did happen to know that the Chinese and the Japanese had long been at war before the advent of WWII so I knew of the general animosity between the countries--but I knew nothing of how that might have played out on American soil.

Click here to read the rest of the query letter and Kristen Nelson's thoughts about it.

Is There a Market for LDS Reference/Study Guides?

2011-10-10T07:00:00.002-06:00

Hello. Thanks for creating your blog. I just have a few quick questions. I've put together an [XYZ] reference guide. It's for [a certain area of study] and has about 45,000 entries, in an [particular] format. Is there still a market for [this type of] reference book, and which LDS publishing companies would you recommend?

Yes! I think there will always be a market for LDS reference and study guides.

What you need, however, is a twist—something unique that sets your book off from those already published. What you need is a reason why someone would buy yours, as opposed to the ones produced by the Church itself, or those written by noted LDS scholars.

Is your guide perfect for children or teens?
Is it extra easy to understand?
Does it include something the other guides don't?

The format you described (which I deleted to keep it private) may be enough of a difference to give it a selling point.

As for choosing a publisher, make a list of LDS publishers. (I have a partial list here but no info or links yet, sorry.) Go to their websites and see if they sell similar items. Look at their submission guidelines and see if they're interested in reference books or study guides. Then custom tailor your query so that it clearly states why your product is compatible with, yet unique from, their existing products.

November Is For Nano

2011-10-07T07:00:00.000-06:00

NaNoWriMo starts next month and I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE every single writer or writer-wanna-be to participate on some level.

What is NaNoWriMo? "National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing on November 1. The goal is to write a 50,000 word, (approximately 175 page) novel by 11:59:59, November 30." (Read more)

Every year, I sign up to do NaNo. Every year, I fail to reach the 50,000 word count. So why do I keep doing it?

Because every year, I get a little further along in one of my WIPs. And I write more words in the month of November than in any other month of the year.

This year, I decided I needed to plan ahead. I'm starting now to prepare for next month's writing blitz. Every Friday during October, I'll be posting info and guest posts on how to prepare for NaNo, as well as short personal experiences and testimonials from my blog readers. If you have a NaNo story or tip you'd like to share, send me an e-mail.

In the meantime, here are some links to check out:

Official NaNoWriMo site: The place to sign up.

The Official NaNoWroMo 2010 Preparation List: An awesome in-depth, step-by-step list of things to do to be prepared for November 1st!

Is Your Book Really Ready for the Public Eye? (or Your Turn to Tell Me I'm Up in the Night)

2011-10-06T09:16:00.006-06:00

I read a lot of books.

And by "a lot," I mean I easily read 100-150 complete books a year (first page to last), and probably twice that in sample chapters, which I then do not finish because I can tell in the first few pages that the book is not my thing.

I have a Kindle, which makes reading so easy. I can carry an entire LIBRARY of books with me wherever I go.

When I got my first Kindle, back when it was newly released and one of the coolest gadgets on the market, eBooks were somewhat limited. It was a frequent experience to go to Amazon looking for a title, only to find it wasn't available for Kindle yet. This was especially true with LDS fiction.

Now, though, eBooks abound and I can often find the digital book available before the print version. eBooks have also become the low-risk way to enter the market for small publishers, indies, and self-publishers.

YAY!

Well, not always.

What I'm finding (based on a lifetime of reading and years in the publishing industry), is that the easier it is and the less expensive it becomes to produce a book and bring it to market—and let me tell you, compared to the "old days," print-on-demand and eBook production is E.A.S.Y.—the lower the overall quality of that production.

See, if it's going to cost someone $10,000 to produce a title, they are going to make sure it's as close to perfect as they can get it! A manuscript will go through multiple readers before its accepted for publication to make sure it's a viable story and that a reading market exists. It will be read carefully by professionals who edit books on a daily basis, and who are up on what's selling and what's not. It will be edited for content and for grammar, multiple times. Professional artists, graphic designers, and typesetters will be hired to create an appealing cover and interior design, to encourage a browsing reader to pick it up and give it a consideration. And then, before going to press, it will be proofed again. Once it goes to press, those files will be coded for digital readers—usually hand-coded by professionals who know how to customize the code for individual e-readers. The end result is a beautiful product that enhances reader enjoyment.

But, when things get cheap and easy, and a book can be brought to market for $100 or less using print-on-demand and one-size-fits-all eBook coding, an attitude of casualness sometimes creeps into the production process. I'm seeing this attitude most in smaller indie presses and self-publishers. People who have no idea of design try to create their own covers. They "typeset" their books using Microsoft Word, trusting that the grammar and spellcheck will catch their mistakes. (Impossible!) Others hire their aunt who teaches English in high school. (Entirely different skill set.) And they use Smashwords to create their eBooks.

While some authors also have a great eye for design, and Word and Smashwords can be used successfully if you really know what you're doing, and some aunts who teach high school grammar actually have professional editing skills—99%* of the books created this way are never going to reach their full potential. They will end up in people's "books to finish reading someday" pile. And the second book by this same author or small press is going to get a pass.

Yes, yes. I know all your friends are buying your eBook and telling you honestly that they absolutely love it. But think for a minute... Do they really love your book or do they love you? And do their feelings for you color their perception of the book? (If they're human, it will.) Do they have the skill set to accurately assess your writing? Are they mediocre readers who are satisfied with a less-than story? Can they produce something with impeccable grammar and tight writing themselves?

Unless you are getting lots of sales and rave reviews from people who have no idea who you are—they've never met you, don't follow your blog, aren't your friend on Facebook, have never tweeted you, aren't participating in a contest about you or your book, and do not have any other vested interest in your success—then you cannot fully trust the feedback you're getting.

Authors. I'm not saying don't self-publish and I'm not saying don't go with a small indie press. Just please, please, please have your manuscript professionally edited before you offer it up to the public. My heart just breaks with the number of authors I've seen lately who have gone this route and had AWESOME ideas, that just weren't ready to be released to the general public.

And the end result for me? I'm actually purchasing fewer books. Where I used to buy a book with an interesting backliner, feeling that even though I may not love it, it will be a decent read and I can trust I'll get a quality, professional product, now I hesitate. Now, I download the sample chapters on my Kindle and if they don't grab me, that's it.

Readers, are any of you feeling the same way or am I just entirely too picky in my reading habits?

(Feel free to comment anonymously if you like, just be polite)

*Okay, I admit this statistic was pulled out of the air and completely based on personal experience rather than scientific data.

2011 Christmas Story Contest Winners!

2011-10-04T13:22:00.002-06:00

Are you ready for the 2011 Christmas Short Story Contest winners???

These winners are guaranteed a spot in the next Christmas collection, to be released in fall of 2012. Other stories from the contest will be included, as well.

So here we go...

And we're starting with a TIE!

Reader's Choice—Published Author Category
Milkshakes and Mittens
by Brenda Anderson

and

The Two Hundred Forty-fourth Ornament
by Jennifer Ricks

Publisher's Choice—Published Author Category
Third Strike Christmas
by Brian Ricks

Reader's Choice—Unpublished Author Category
Savanna's Christmas Miracles
by Kasey Eyre

Publisher's Choice—Unpublished Author Category
Foreign Exchange
by Teresa Osgood

Congratulations to the winners! You did some good work.

Before I Post the Winners...

2011-10-04T08:54:00.005-06:00

I'm done! I've read and evaluated every Christmas story submission, tallied the scores, sent emails to all the authors and I'm ready to post the winners.

(Authors, if you didn't get your emails, let me know ASAP!)

Thank you to everyone who came to the site, read the stories, left comments, and voted. Your honest comments are very important to the authors as it gives them a sense of where they connect with the reader and where they miss. That type of feedback is crucial to learning the craft of writing.

Although the authors have received a score sheet evaluating various aspects of story and a partial line edit on their actual story, I've only posted a brief critique for each story highlighting what I feel are the weakest points. The reason for the limited online critique is it takes a lot of time—up to an hour—to read and evaluate each story. It would double my time were I to include line edits in the actual posts—and honestly, I don't believe anyone but the author will actually go back to those stories to see those evaluations—and they're getting them in a personal email. (If I'm wrong, you're welcome to correct me in the comments and maybe I'll reconsider, but it would require much groveling and begging from multiple readers to change my mind.)

We had a voting issue, but it was resolved to my satisfaction. We were able to determine exactly when the email was sent and discounted all anonymous votes after that time, plus some votes that the author recognized as family, leaving her with 7 counted votes. I believe the winner to have won fair and square.

There was another voting issue that has occurred in every short story contest I've held. Once again, SOME OF YOU DID NOT VOTE FOR YOUR OWN STORY! I just don't get that!!! Did the fact that a story got zero votes effect my critique? No, because I didn't look at those votes until after I made my own evaluation. But still, PEOPLE! Can someone explain that to me????

And lastly, some good news—I now have enough quality stories to do a second Christmas collection. It will be available for the Christmas season of 2012. I still need to go through and make the final determination on which stories will be in the collection. Authors, if you're selected for the new collection, I will email you directly with instructions and a contract—probably some time in January.

Now for the big reveal...

October 2011 Prize Sponsors

2011-10-03T11:12:00.018-06:00

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

Please take a moment to learn more about this month's wonderfully generous sponsors.

The Alias by Mandi Tucker Slack

Jacey Grayson is an average, young, divorced mother struggling to build a new life for her son, Blaze. After a long and difficult divorce, Jacey thinks the worst is over. But when the FBI discloses some disturbing information about her ex-husband, Jacey's life becomes anything but average.

At the risk of losing her identity, her future, and her heart, Jacey and Blaze flee to Utah, hoping to hide and start over once again. But no matter how far she runs or who she pretends to be, her past is always lurking nearby, bringing old fears with it.

*The Alias for Kindle is currently marked down to $3.99

Mandi Tucker Slack: I am the mother of three wonderful children. I grew up in Orangeville, UT, where my dad worked as a coal miner for eighteen years. I love the outdoors and spending time exploring new, exciting places with my family. I was a very imaginative child and that love of imagination carried into my adulthood. I love writing novels, especially romance and suspense.

Visit Mandi at her official website or her blog, Mudrock and Pink Nail Polish. Or send her an email.

The Armor of Light by Karen E. Hoover

Sequel to The Sapphire Flute

Ember has been accepted into the mage academy, but not without cost. She has gained a new enemy whose entire purpose is to destroy all white magic and her along with it. After nearly losing her life in a brutal attack, DeMunth is assigned her guardian, and the keystone he wears, The Armor of Light, begins the transition that will make it a true power.

Kayla has lost most everything of importance to her—the people, the prestige, and all she fought for the past ten years. With nothing left to lose, she continues her search for the birthplace of The Sapphire Flute and the Wolfchild she believes to be its player.

In a showdown full of betrayal and heroic loss, Ember and Kayla finally meet on the battlefield, fighting a war on two fronts—against C'Tan and her people, and the mysterious enemy bent on destroying all magic—the shadow weavers.

Karen E. Hoover has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. Her favorite memory of her dad is the time he spent with Karen on his lap, telling her stories for hours on end. Her dad promised he would have Karen reading on her own by the time she was four years old ... and he did it.

Karen took the gift of words her dad gave her and ran with it. Since then, she's written two novels and reams of poetry. Her head is fairly popping with ideas, so she plans to write until she's ninety-four or maybe even a hundred and four.

Inspiration is found everywhere, but Karen's heart is fueled by her husband and two sons, the Rocky Mountains, her chronic addiction to pens and paper, and the smell of her laser printer in the morning.

The Next Door Boys by Jolene B. Perry

Leigh Tressman has been known as a lot of things – the girl who sings, the girl who sews, Jaron’s little sister, and last year, the girl with cancer. With her body still recovering from the cancer treatments, she’s determined to be independent and convinces her parents to let her follow her overprotective brother, Jaron, to BYU.

With an ever expanding line of young men ready to be in love with her–not to mention physical frustrations, and spiritual dilemmas–Leigh almost misses the opportunity to be with the man who has been quietly falling in love with her since they met. The Next Door Boys proves that even with (or maybe in spite of) independence, love can be found in comfortable, but delightful places.

Jolene B. Perry: I write almost nothing but love stories. I think it’s because I enjoy my own so much. My husband made a suggestion one day when I mentioned always wanting to write and never taking the time - why don’t you just get an idea down. Just for fun. I did. A few months later I had a whole novel. Wow, I thought. That was pretty awesome. I can write a whole book. The next one went faster. I now get to sit down in front of my computer, live in a story, and call it “work.”

Visit Jolene at her blog or send her an email.

The Outer Edge of Heaven by Jaclyn Hawkes

Montana truly is heavenly. Especially those handsome cowboys.

When her "all-powerful" parents actually choose her future husband, who just happens to be a divorce lawyer named Elroy, Charlie opts out and heads for Big Sky Country. After all, who marries a divorce lawyer? She and her best friend Fo, who have been buddies since the third grade, go to work on his cousin's sprawling ranch in the heart of the Montana Rockies.

She has the time of her life, but her heart may never recover.

Jaclyn M. Hawkes grew up in Utah with 6 sisters, 4 brothers and any number of pets. (It was never boring!) She got a bachelor’s degree, had a career and traveled extensively before settling down to her life’s work of being the mother of four magnificent and sometimes challenging children. She loves shellfish, the out of doors, the youth and hearing her children laugh. She and her fine husband, their family, and their sometimes very large pets, now live in a mountain valley in northern Utah, where it smells like heaven and kids still move sprinkler pipe.

Tangled Hearts by Roseanne Evans Wilkins

Serra Lanning, known as the Chaste Mormon Model Kara Kukaanei, grew up in Salina, Kansas. She is living a lonely life. Her parents have died and her sister, Brooke, hasn't spoken to her in years. When Brooke shows up with her son in tow and asks Serra to watch him while she and her husband go on vacation to France, Serra's whole life is turned upside down.

Serra's decision to hide from Brooke's in-law's create problems she doesn't anticipate. When the tires to her new SUV are slashed, she knows she has more to fear than having her nephew taken.

Roseanne Evans Wilkins: was the second oldest of 9 children, so I grew up in a house full of noisy kids. Craig grew up in a house with just 2 quiet kids. Opposites attract lol. Since I'm the one home, we filled the house with kids. I'd go crazy with silence. Craig manages the noise level by traveling all over the U.S. teaching other adults how to audit.

With 5 kids in sports, I keep busy running them to their practices and games. After hectic days running kids everywhere and taking care of three pre-schoolers, I find quiet time after everyone is in bed to write. I hope you enjoy the results :).

You can visit Roseanne at her blog, Roseanne's Spot.

The Upside of Down by Rebecca Talley

Natalie Drake certainly has her hands full raising a large family, dealing with her difficult mother, and maintaining a relationship with her rebellious teenager. Just when things seem to be going smoothly, she finds out another unexpected surprise—she’s going to have a baby. Faced with so many challenges, Natalie must learn to trust in a plan that isn’t what she imagined and discover that every situation has an upside.

Beloved author Rebecca Talley carefully creates this touching and heartfelt story that is sure to inspire you. With true-to-life characters and situations, The Upside of Down will reignite your faith and remind you of the importance of family.

Rebecca Talley grew up in Santa Barbara, California and now lives on a ranch in Colorado with her amazing husband, 8 of her 10 creative children, horses, goats, and a llama named Tina. She is the author of a children's picture book, Grasshopper Pie. Her stories have been published in Story Friends, Our Little Friend, The Friend, and Stories for Children. Cedar Fort released her YA novel, Heaven Scent, in spring 2008.

Besides writing, Rebecca enjoys eating chocolate by the pound, dancing to disco music while she cleans all the messes that seem to multiply and replenish her house, and contemplating all the craft projects that still need to be completed. You can find Rebecca at www.rebeccatalley.com.

CLICK HERE for details on how to win these books.

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September 2011 Prize Winners

2011-10-03T10:31:00.009-06:00

Here are the randomly selected winners of last month's Comment Contest.

Thanks again to our sponsors. Please take a moment to read their info here.

Double Deceit

by

Stephanie Humphreys

Winner: Zanna

Commenting on: "09 Chaos at Santa's Shop, Earl's Misadventures"

Hang 'Em High

by

Tristi Pinkston

Winner: Katie Parker

Commenting on: "Publishing Artwork"

Pumpkin Roll

by

Josi S. Kilpack

Winner: Thoughtful Reader

Commenting on: "11 Milkshakes and Mittens"

Ribbon of Darkness

by

Julie Coulter Bellon

Winner: Betsy Love

Commenting on "I'm Really Not Sure How to Answer This..."

To claim your prize, you must e-mail your mailing address to me by Friday, October 7, 2011.

(Unclaimed prizes will be up for grabs later.)

Click here to learn how you can win a copy of one of our sponsoring books.

Click here for details on sponsoring the LDS Publisher blogs.

Voting Is Now Closed

2011-10-01T08:18:00.007-06:00

Voting for the Christmas Story Contest is now closed.

You may continue to leave comments on the stories if you like (and feedback is muchly appreciated by the authors), but they will no longer be counted in the voting.

Contest winners will be announced on Tuesday, October 4th.

FYI: I assume that all authors will vote for their own story. (And they should. Because if you don't believe in your story enough to vote for it, why bother submitting?) I also know that spouses, close friends and writers groups may have seen the story in its early stages and recognize it, or they may recognize the voice of the writer. That's why I give everyone TWO votes in each category, to help overcome that natural tendency for bias toward people we like.

One of the stories received some votes that will not be counted. A well-meaning friend who recognized the story sent out an email to other friends, asking them to go vote for this particular story. They did not realize they were breaking the rules. When the author found out, they immediately contacted me about making things right. We will determine to the best of our ability which votes are legit and which are not, and adjust the total votes accordingly.

Authors in the Unpublished category will need to wait for the official announcement to determine if they've won the Reader's Choice award or not.

Deadline to Vote is Today!

2011-09-30T07:00:00.002-06:00

Today is your last chance to vote for your favorite 2011 Christmas stories!

Voting ends at midnight tonight.

Click here for voting instructions.

Contest winners will be announced on Tuesday, October 4th.

Unique Blog Tour Tips by Danyelle Ferguson

2011-09-29T07:00:00.002-06:00

Most authors – no matter if they are traditionally published or self published – set up their own blog tours. Some authors band together with peers who write in the same genre, then do a big blog tour together or contest together (like the Massive Romance Reader Squee Moment Ahead contest). Other authors send a “Call to Review” on their blogs or emails (See H.B. Moore’s blog post).

But what if you want to hit a broader market? Or you want to target certain niche readers? A great blog tour has reviewers with both small (100+) and big (1000+) follower counts, reviewers who have relationships with the author & reviewers who don’t know the author, and covers a variety of geographical locations.

For my book – (dis)Abilities and the Gospel – I wanted to get a wide variety of reviewers. Very few people on the tour were writer friends. My goal was to have a lot of reviewers who didn’t know me, who attended different churches, and who either had kids with cognitive disabilities or were church teachers who had someone in their class with a cognitive disability. Here’s how I found them:

First: Get Organized.
I’m a huge spreadsheet organization freak. It’s probably the only area I’m really good at keeping everything on track (Ask my hubby. I’m horrible at keeping my desk organized!) But spreadsheets – I can whip them out like crazy and keep track of gobs of things that way. And a good spreadsheet is essential when putting together a blog tour.

So, let’s get started. Create a spreadsheet with the following fields: Reviewer’s Name, Blog Title, Blog Address, Email Address, # of Followers, Target (for me this was either parent, church teacher, or book reviewer), Contacted On (date you emailed review request), Response, Scheduled Review Date and Review Copy Sent. Add blogs you are interested in to this list. Once you’ve done all your research, sort the list by number of followers and pick some of the bigger blogs and mark those lines in another color. Then sort the list by targets and see which demographics you need more of and mark those with a different color.

Then start sending emails to the bloggers. I had a lot of people return my emails saying they had never done a book review or participated in a blog tour. I sent them additional information, along with expectations for the tour (I gave them the option to choose a date within the tour time frame and told them I wanted their honest opinion about the book). Don’t be afraid to choose reviewers who don’t have book blogs, but have a connection to the topic related to in your book. During my tour, one of my reviewers was a cake decorator who had a child with autism. Her review not only introduced my book to a large group I wasn’t connected with, but was also picked up by several e-magazines. (See Topsy Turvy Cakes)

Start with Your Contacts
If you’re traditionally published, shoot an email over to your marketing team and ask if they have any blog book reviewers they recommend. My publisher actually had a few and even offered to send those bloggers review copies if they agreed to be on the tour.

I also emailed out to some disability and church groups I work with to see if they had recommendations, blogs they frequently went to for information, etc. If you write YA, email out to your nieces, nephews, church youth groups, your friends’ kids, etc and ask them what blogs they go to check out cool stuff.

Twitter
Twitter was actually my best resource to discover new reviewers. If you’re not on Twitter, then you should start a profile. It’s a great way to connect with others – even if you don’t post on it daily. I try to go out once a week to socialize for about an hour.

On the Twitter homepage, there’s a link at the top that says “Who to Follow”. If you click on it, it brings you to a page with a search box. You can search for anything here (book reviewers, YA Romance, etc). You can also search for books that are like yours – for example, Matched by Ally Condie. Twitter searches through status updates and profile descriptions to suggest friends for you. For my tour, I searched for autism, LDS autism, Down syndrome, special needs, and church to name a few.I went through about a hundred profiles, checked out their activity and following. I also looked at who that person followed. I often found more good leads that way. After narrowing down who I wanted to review, I contacted them through either Twitter email or an email address that was listed on the profile.

Another tip is to do geographical searches – such as Autism Canada or Fantasy Reader Arizona.
Take advantage of hashtag searches too. Check out authors who write in the same genre as you and see what they are doing on Twitter. Elana Johnson did a huge Twitter promo for her book Possession using the hashtag #tagged. You could go through the postings with that hashtag to find readers who loved her book, then contact them to review your book.

Amazon & Goodreads
The awesome thing about Amazon and Goodreads is that they link to their reviewers profiles. Some of those reviewers list their websites or blogs. So you can check out books similar to yours and do some research on readers. Find a few who you really like, then send them an email through their website or blog.

Check Out Other Authors
It’s time to go hit the websites for all the big authors who write in your genre. Especially if you know of an author who has a book coming out in the next few months. They often list all the stops on their blog tour (Check out Ashley March’s pre-publication book tour). Go check out those reviewers and their guidelines. (BTW - Keep all this info in a spreadsheet for future reference!) To find more authors: Go to Amazon.com, type in an author’s name and hit enter, then check out the “Related Searches” results just under the search box.

In Closing
Putting together a good blog tour involves a bit of internet stalking sleuthing. But it’s totally worth it when you put together a completed list of reviewers from all over. The goal of a blog tour isn’t just to get (hopefully) awesome reviews, but to reach reader circles you currently don’t have connections with. Go for variety! Happy book tour scheduling!

Danyelle Ferguson is the author of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ. She's also a public speaker to churches and disability groups, freelance editor and book reviewer. She lives in Kansas with her hubby and four angels-in-training. For more information, you can check out her blog (www.QueenOfTheClan.com) or her website (www.DanyelleFerguson.com).

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Christmas stories!

Voting ends at midnight, September 30th

The Plight of the Picture Book

2011-09-28T07:00:00.004-06:00

Thanks for taking the time to write your blog. I'm just getting my feet wet in the publishing world, and you have given me a place to start. I have written a children's picture book. I've been rejected by three publishers so far, and searched dozens of other LDS publishers who are not accepting submissions in this genre. Would you please direct me? I don't know what to do next.

Picture books are tough for small niche publishers, unless they specialize in picture books. Full color layouts and quality illustrations are very expensive.

Picture books, in general, don't sell well unless you win an award. (Think about how many you buy vs how many you check out at the library.) If your picture book targets an LDS market, sales will be even smaller, making it unlikely that the publisher will make a return on the investment.

Of course, there are exceptions to this—but it requires killer illustrations (which the publisher usually provides), an exceptional story line, and most of the time, it must appeal to both children and adults.

Where do you go now?

I'd suggest you join SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators) or at the very least, scour their site for information. Attending one of their conferences may also help. Networking with others who write picture books will steer you in the right direction.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Christmas stories!

Voting ends at midnight, September 30th

The Myth of the Perfect Book by Tristi Pinkston

2011-09-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

I have decided there's no such thing as writing the perfect book.

We might write books that are funny and uplifting, dramatic and thought-provoking, or spiritual and enlightening. We might write books that take us to the edges of our strength and force us to push a little harder, to transcend everything we thought we were capable of, to create a new limit to break later on. We might cry as we outline. We might tremble as we write. We can sit back at the end and heave a great sigh and feel that we truly have done what we set out to do . . . and yet, the book is still not perfect.

There will always be typos. There will always be places where we could have shown when we told. There will always be times when we confuse a character's name or forget to hide the key under the mat, thereby making the reader wonder how the hero got in. There will always be something to criticize, regardless of how good the book is.

But that doesn't mean we stop writing.

It means we continue to push ourselves. We continue to stretch ourselves, finding our wings, exploring, expanding, striving. We never, ever give up. But we do it with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is going to find something wrong with our book.

And that's okay.

It means we're human.

And it means we'll take what we learned from the experience and be grateful for it. We'll grow, we'll hone our skills, and we'll progress. A writer who refuses to learn, who refuses to stretch, will never truly reach the heights he otherwise could. It's the bumps we encounter along the way that knock off our rough spots.

I've had a lot of bumps. But I'm grateful for them.

I can fly higher now than I ever could before.

Tristi Pinkston is the author of eight published books, including the Secret Sisters mystery series. In addition to being a prolific author, Tristi also provides a variety of author services, including editing, coordinating blog tours, and online writing instruction. You can visit her at www.tristipinkston.blogspot.com or her website at www.tristipinkston.com.

Don't forget to vote for your favorite Christmas stories!

Voting ends at midnight, September 30th

2011 Christmas Story Voting Instructions

2011-09-26T01:00:00.004-06:00

Please read the voting instructions carefully before casting your vote.

Voting for LDSP's 2011 Christmas Story Contest starts NOW!

VOTE between September 26th and midnight on Friday, September 30th.

Voting Info:

There will be four winners:
Readers Choice (Published authors)
Readers Choice (Unpublished authors)
Publisher's Choice (Published authors)
Publisher's Choice (Unpublished authors).
Publisher's Choice winners will be judged on a variety of criteria, according to a point system. But it basically boils down to quality of writing, uniqueness of story and what I think will best sell a book.
You can vote by whatever criteria you want, just don't make it a popularity contest.
You MAY vote for your own story. (In fact, you should. I am constantly amazed by the number of stories that receive no votes. What's wrong with you people??)
You may vote twice in each category: Published and Unpublished.

Click HERE to read all stories by Published Authors. Vote for two.

Click HERE to read all stories by Unpublished Authors. Vote for two.

NOTE: Due to the limitations of Blogger, all stories in a category may not show up on one page. After you've read the first batch, click the OLDER POSTS link at the bottom right below the last story to go to the next page of stories.
To Place Your Vote: The word "VOTE" must appear in your comment. Leave a comment for the story you're voting for with the words, I VOTE FOR THIS ONE or THIS ONE GETS MY VOTE or some other phrase that CLEARLY indicates you are voting. Comments that say, "I like this one..." will not be counted as a vote.
You may make all the comments you like, but VOTING must contain the word VOTE.
Anonymous votes count. We're using the Honor System here and trusting that no one will over vote.
AUTHORS: Please tell your friends that you've submitted a story and to come read and vote, but DO NOT tell them which story is yours. We want the stories to win on merit, not personal popularity.
I'll announce the winners on Tuesday, October 4th.

[P.S. All comments on the stories and Voting Comments will enter you in the Monthly Comment Contest.]

2011 Christmas Story Contest Is Now Closed

2011-09-25T09:10:00.000-06:00

All Christmas stories have now been posted. If you sent one in and it's not posted, then I didn't get it. Please resend ASAP. If I get it before I go to bed tonight, I'll post it.

The submission portion of the 2011 Christmas Story Contest is now over.

Early Monday morning, September 26th, I will post voting instructions. Please read these instructions carefully before casting your votes.

Good luck to all those who submitted stories!

23 Checkin’ It Twice

2011-09-24T22:00:00.003-06:00

by Michael Young

St Nick was not feeling jolly. Just “Old St. Nicolas”.

He looked down and thought how his stomach was more like a half-deflated balloon than a bowl full of jelly, and his nose more black cherry than maraschino.

His job gave him every reason to feel jolly: perfect job security, cheerful co-workers, state of the art technology, travel to exotic places and unlimited hot cocoa. But today the calendar read Feb 25th. The most dreaded deadline of the year was today: the finalization of the Naughty List, based on last year’s deeds.

Sure, he could see kids when they were sleeping and know when they were awake. He knew if they were bad or good with the help of his monitoring elves. It was just so hard to make the final decisions. Though most people assumed he checked the list only twice, he often agonized over it for weeks, checking and rechecking it.

There was the regular Naughty List, which was bad enough, and then there was the Chronically Naughty List, where only the naughtiest appeared. Those on the list risked being permanently banned from Christmas privileges, with only coal to look forward to for the rest of their lives.
St. Nick didn’t like having to put anyone on the list. But, rules were rules and he couldn’t break them without setting a bad example.

He stuffed his large girth into the tinsel-draped chair behind his desk, and picked up his candy-cane striped pen. The Naughty and Nice lists lay out in front of him, filled with of names in calligraphy. Off to the side lay the third list, on which only one name stood. St. Nick’s eyebrows rose.

Several months ago, he had sent his elite elves to carry out interventions for each of those on the Chronically Naughty List. For those who remained after the interventions, he conducted a trial, with one elf as the prosecution and one as the defense.

Every year they had managed to shrink the last list considerably by the middle of February, but he had not expected this. A single name. "Dallin J. Snark,” read St. Nick. "How can we get you off this list?" There was nothing to do but conduct the trial. He’d have to call on Amras and Nerwen, his most talented elite elves.

St. Nick rubbed his black cherry nose. “Bisquat,” he said to his head secretarial elf, “could you bring me some of my Krisp Kringles? This case requires comfort food.”
Bisquat bowed, "No milk and cookies?”

St. Nick gave a “Ho, ho”. He couldn’t manage the third “Ho” today. "No, it's usually June before I can even look at a cookie. Too many in one night. Why don't you also fetch Amras and Nerwen?"
Bisquat bowed again and his exit was heralded by the sound of retreating jingle bells. A minute later, a full-size figure entered. St. Nick jumped in his chair. He was not used to looking up at any one around here, and briefly feared the intruder might have infiltrated the North Pole, intent on stealing trade secrets or perhaps a taste of reindeer venison.

"Amras! You’ve got to remember to shorten your cane once you’re back at the Pole."

Amras glanced down and reddened to match St. Nick’s suit. "I'm sorry, your Saintliness. Right away." He looked up at the red and white cane in his hand and pressed the down on the end. The cane retracted like a telescope, and, as the cane shrunk, so did its owner until he stood less than half of his original height.

St. Nick sat back in his chair, “That's better,” he said. "Now where is—“

Another elf entered, already shrunken to the size of the door, her flushed face matching her fiery red curls. "Just in the St. Nick of time!”

She flung up her arms and waited for a response. None came. Her face fell.
“You used to laugh at that one.”

St. Nick managed a faint smile. "The first 20 times, Nerwen. You should really think of a new punch-line, or figure out how to be on time.”

Nerwen nodded and took a step back.

"Let's get started," St. Nick said, opening his bag of Krisp Kringles, which resembled a miniature version of his present bag. He took one red and green chip and popped it in his mouth. Each chip was designed to taste like something from Christmas dinner and this one tasted like eggnog. "I will hear three arguments to determine whether this boy should be given the Ban. Amras?"

Amras smoothed down his green vest. "Thank you, St. Nick. I’ve seen some terrible cases, but this is one of the worst. I shall endeavor to show that the subject deserves this punishment for three reasons: his disrespect for authority, his disrespect for his peers, and his disrespect for himself.” Amras withdrew a clear marble from his pocket and rolled it in his hands. It grew like a snowball into a large orb.

Amras approached St. Nick's desk and placed the snow globe on a stand at the edge. St. Nick leaned forward and Amras tapped the globes surface. "Exhibit A,” Amras said as a young boy came into focus within the ball. The boy had a tangled mass of blonde hair and a husky frame.
"This is he?" asked St. Nick.

"Yes. Note the sinister smile, the darting, mischievous eyes.”

Nerwen’s hand shot up, "Objection! Speculation. How do we know that it’s not a friendly smile? That his eyes are not jolly?”

Amras remained unruffled. "In context you will see there could be no other explanation."

"Continue."

"Thank you. “ Amras tapped the glass again and the picture came to life. Amras narrated the events that took place. "On February 14th, the school held a Valentine's Day assembly in which students were invited to perform love poems they had written."

Amras placed his hand over his heart. "Not exactly Shakespearean sonnets, but touching nonetheless. During the recitation of one of these poems, Dallin stood and released stink bombs, yelling 'Love stinks!’ Pandemonium ensued, and many were injured. Dallin was suspended, pending an expulsion hearing. He’s played every prank in the book and contributed several chapters of his own.”

St. Nick scratched his beard. “Nerwen, do you have anything to say?”

Nerwen shook her head, her red curls bobbing. “I would prefer to listen to all of the arguments first before refuting them.”

“That’s fine,” St. Nick said. “Continue.”

Amras tapped the globe and another scene appeared. “You will recall my second point was that he has no respect for his peers. Look.”

The surface swirled and came into focus. It showed Dallin next to a smaller kid in front of a locker covered with wrapping paper. At the top was a sign that read “Are you ready for s’more birthday fun?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Nerwen said. “He decorated that boy’s locker.”

“He did,” said Amras. “That boy is one of the most picked-on boys in school—a foster child with some serious medical problems. Our subject told him that he had a birthday surprise for him.”
St. Nick drew his eyebrows together. “You’re defeating your own point. That’s one of the nicest things I’ve seen in a long time.”

Amras jabbed a finger at the image. “That’s exactly what makes this deed so dastardly, this act so atrocious, this plot so pernicious, this-“

St Nick cut him off. “We understand. Go on.”

Amras smoothed his suit. “Dallin filled that boy’s locker with marshmallows.”

Nerwen burst out laughing, her clothes jingling.

“Once again, you haven’t considered everything,” said Amras. “The boy’s birthday falls on July 26th, which just happened to be the hottest day of the year. That day turned each locker into a long, thin Dutch oven.”

Amras tapped the globe again and the picture advanced, showing the poor boy opening his locker, only to find it flooded with sticky goo. A couple graham crackers and pieces of chocolate had been added at strategic points, making it look as if a boy scout’s backpack had exploded.
St. Nick put his head in his hands.

“It took the janitors a week to get it all off. The hallway still smells like s’mores and cleaning solution.”

St. Nick waved his hand. “Enough. I may never be able to eat a s’more again.”

“And worst of all,” said Amras, “my third argument.”

Amras tapped the globe, and the boy was seen holding a large bag of peanuts.

Nerwen’s hand shot up.”I suppose you're going to tell me now that he's a terrible person, because he likes to eat peanuts and leave the shells on the floor. You’ll have to try harder.”

Amras smoothed his dark hair. “I will, little miss. He has a violent peanut allergy and carries around that bag everywhere. And whenever things aren't going his way, he eats some just for the attention it affords him. He's tried this at home, school, and in various public places. He becomes violently ill and blames it on all sorts of things. He would damage his body to get away from his problems.”

In the globe, Amras displayed a montage. “His cousin’s wedding, his sister’s piano recital, his first day at his new school—the list goes on.”

Amras tapped the globe and stepped back, “These incidents show that the subject is an inherently naughty person. Intervention has failed, and he shows no remorse. I call for the immediate suspension of holiday privileges without the possibility of parole.”

Amras shot an overly-broad smile at Nerwen. “The prosecution rests.”

Nerwen walked over to the desk. “That was convincing. If I had not seen what I have, I would've been won over. But for his three points, I have three questions: Why? How? When?”

St. Nick adjusted his spectacles. “Please be more specific.”

“Specifically, ‘Why is Dallin the way that he is?’, ‘How can he be helped?’ and ‘When are we going to do it?”

“Good,” said St. Nick, finishing a Krisp that tasted like turkey with cranberry sauce. “I’d like to hear more."

She produced a snow globe of her own and placed it on St. Nick’s desk. An image of a Dallin appeared, all smiles gone, mischievous or not. Nerwen cleared her throat. "Dallin lives a difficult life, and not all of his troubles are his fault. He was orphaned young and placed in foster care with poor parents."

Nerwen tapped the snow globe a number of times and it cycled through different scenes of Dallin’s life, being ignored, being yelled at, being told that he was stupid, and finally left alone, shutting himself in his closet and crying softly.

She tapped the surface a final time and the picture froze on the closed door. Before anyone could say anything, she continued. “As demonstrated by the prosecutor, Dallin is a boy of considerable brains. He's extremely creative and courageous. Now, however, he is applying his talents in a negative way. People have tried to change Dallin’s behavior by punishing, yelling, and threatening. I understand why he is so naughty.”

A faint snicker came from Amras’s direction.

“He feels unappreciated and under stimulated. If he felt there were people that really cared about him and if he were given an outlet to do something positive, the problem would cease.”
Amras sighed. “It is one thing to say how you feel. It is another thing to see what is really there. This boy has a chronic history of misdeeds. I doubt the solution is so simple.”

Nerwen shook her fiery curls. “I can prove it to you.”

“You can prove it?” asked St. Nick. “That’s a bold statement. Would you like to explain?”

Nerwen nodded. “The proof is contained in the third question: “when are we going to do something about it?’ The answer is ‘I already have.’”

All eyes fixed on her, “You better explain that,” said St. Nick.

“I talked to him myself. I used my cane to make myself a little bit taller and wore a cap to disguise my ears. I found him out walking by himself and started talking to him. His first reaction was ‘buzz off,’ but after we got over that hurdle, things went along nicely.”

Amras choked, even though he was not eating. “You actually risked talking to him? Don’t you think that’s a bit reckless when you’re the right size to get stuffed in a locker?”

Nerwen lifted her chin another inch. “Reckless, but necessary. I had to be sure that he was really the worst apple of the bunch. And you know what?”

Everyone leaned forward.

A broad smile broke over Nerwen’s face. “The outside is rotten, but the core is sweet.”

“Did you put on your rose-colored glasses this morning?” said Amras with a scowl, “You don’t get on the Chronically Naughty list by having a good core.”

Nerwen met St. Nick’s gaze. “I would like to invite you both to come with me. I have something to show you.”

With a sigh, Amras rolled his eyes. “We don’t have time to go looking at your snow angel gallery, Nerwen.”

Nerwen’s face did not flinch. “With respect, that is not what I had in mind, though the gallery is exquisite. I promise this will prove enlightening.”

St. Nick rose and nodded, brushing colorful crumbs off his suit. “I’d like a diversion. Lead the way.” He glanced over in Amras’s direction. “No snarky comments.”

Nerwen led them out of the workshop and up the snow-covered rise that overlooked the surrounding area. At the top, a railing marked off an observation area. The snow blew in thick flurries, carried on a wind that tasted of peppermint, so that every breath felt like brushing your teeth.

“With respect,” he muttered, “what are we supposed to see? I've been up here dozens of times.”

Nerwen pointed at a cluster of buildings below. “I'm sure you remember that you commissioned us to build a new gingerbread village.”

St. Nick ran his hands through his beard. “Yes,” he said, “But it was my understanding that construction has been delayed, because our chief candy designer has taken ill.” St. Nick fell silent. It was yet another thing that dampened his jolly attitude.

“I invite you, your Jolliness, and even you, your grumpiness, to look down at it now.”

They craned their necks over the edge and glanced down at the gingerbread village under construction. The village teamed with activity, with great carts pulled by reindeer lugging stores of candy down from the factories, and candy masons, sculptors, and artists swarming over buildings in various stages of construction.

“Donner and Blitzen!” cried St. Nick. “Everything is in full swing. How did this happen?”

Nerwen pointed down to the square where a single figure stood atop a fountain pouring streams of hot wassail. “There is our supposed bad apple.”

They craned to see, and nearly lost their footing. It was Dallin, decked out in full Christmas attire, with an enormous green pointed hat wreathed with sprigs of mistletoe and holly. He carried a large notebook in which he wrote with an enormous quill pen and shouted instructions to craftsmen as they approached.

“I don’t believe it," muttered Amras.

“Correction,” Nerwen said softly. “You didn’t believe in him. I spoke to his foster parents and told them we’re a new kind of school willing to take him in to teach him a wonderful new trade. I had already seen how clever he is with sweets. I know it's not a typical course of study, but he's already shaping up to be one of the greatest gingerbread architects we've ever had.”

St. Nick removed his cap and scratched his head, marveling that he hadn’t noticed. “Remarkable.”

"It's like that motto you're saying all the time--the one that you put at the bottom of all your correspondence. You’ve even got it written above your office door.”

St. Nick nodded. “’Tis the season. Remember the reason.”

St. Nick leaned against the railing, staring down with wet eyes at the scene. “I think,” he said in a low whisper, “perhaps I've been doing things all wrong. The One whose birth we celebrate does not have a Naughty List. He serves everyone in the world and offers them incredible gifts, no matter what they have done. It's true many people do not accept His gifts, but He is willing to give them anyway. I, on the other hand, have given my gifts conditionally. I've made it my business to judge people, and I wonder how many times I have misjudged them.”

St. Nick arose, the color returning to his cheeks, the cherry-like quality to his nose, the twinkle in his eye, and even the jiggle of his belly. “From now on, I will be setting the example. In celebrating Christmas, I will be more like Christ.”

He turned to Amras and Nerwen, his face aglow. “Come, I'm eager to see that snow angel gallery.”

Nerwen beamed to match St. Nick, but Amras frowned. “But, sir, do you have time? I'm sure you have more pressing duties.”

“No. Without the Naughty List, I’ll have plenty of time. Now that I think of it, so much of my time was spent judging people that I've hardly had a chance to appreciate them. Why don't you come along? I promise we'll pay a visit to your candy cane mosaics afterwards.”

For the first time that day, Amras’s lips rose in a genuine smile. “Really?’

“Really,” said St. Nick.

Amras fell into step and all three broke out in a rousing Christmas carol. When they had finished, St. Nick drew in his breath and let out a complete “Ho, ho, ho,” feeling jollier than he had in years. This Christmas was going to be different. This year, he’d be makin’ a list, but he would not have to check it twice.

[This was sent in time, but didn't get to me. If you've already voted but would have voted for this one had it been posted on time, go ahead and vote for it.]

[If you haven't already voted, never mind.]

Critique: Loved it. The only suggestion I have is to differentiate the two elves just a bit more through dialog, actions, quirks or something. Otherwise, it’s great!

What I liked best: Santa’s words about Christ. Loved that message. Great writing.

Publication ready: Absolutely!

22 The Two Hundred Forty-fourth Ornament

2011-09-24T21:30:00.002-06:00

by Jennifer Ricks

Two hundred and forty-three glass ornaments of all colors and sizes. Some were shiny Christmas red and gold. Some were frosted with sparkling paint. A few were clear with dainty pictures or patterns inside. Rich plums, crisp ice blues, even a few orange and yellow, glowing and blinking on the Christmas tree.

It was a fetish, Kayley knew that well enough. Hadn’t her mother complained about it enough over the years? Even in high school Kayley couldn’t resist picking up a box of shimmering orbs from the clearance aisle of the department store.

Now there were two hundred and forty-three, but Kayley also had a townhouse of her own and a Christmas tree of her own, so Mom couldn’t complain about storage boxes anymore. Kayley sat back on her heels to see the effect of her last sprig of tinsel. The tree looked just perfect.

Christmas was Kayley’s favorite time of year. It meant a two-week vacation. It meant crunchy snow and melted marshmallows in warm cups of rich cocoa. It meant a tangible excitement in her second-grade classroom that drove her crazy and giddy all at the same time. It meant talking of Santa Claus and wearing red and listening to old-time holiday favorites on the radio. It meant enough of a holiday—a whole season in fact—that it filled up her time and she didn’t have to worry about anything else in her life, or anything else that her life lacked.

The Monday of the last week of school, Kayley had started easing into what she liked to call “Holiday Week.” The kids were too excited for vacation to focus for the last five days, and Kayley was an experienced teacher enough to know when to give up. For the past three years running she had observed Holiday Week. She scoured all her materials and the internet to find enough “review” activities to cover most of the week—review activities that were all about Christmas: worksheets with trees and holly and snowmen, history excerpts of events that happened in December, and even science demonstrations about the water cycle and snow. The spelling list for the week consisted of evergreen, sleigh, reindeer, tinsel, carol, pumpkin, and (just to be more culturally universal) dreidle.

The week had gone as Kayley had planned: borderline mayhem the entire time. No one wanted to stay in their seats. Everyone wanted to compare Christmas lists. Slowly crude versions of the most popular Christmas songs spread around the school to be snickered at in corners. And someone was told that Santa Claus wasn’t real.

This year it happened to a little towheaded boy named Jackson. When she caught a glimpse of his tear-stained face after recess, Kayley couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen it coming. Jackson was one of those rare sensitive second-grade boys. He liked to draw more than tell jokes or play kickball. He didn’t talk to his neighbor during lessons. He hardly ever raised his hand, but he always focused on everything Kayley said and followed instructions perfectly. It was one of the injustices of education that most of Kayley’s attention went to the rowdy troublemakers while star students like Jackson hardly ever worked with her one-on-one, but that’s how it was.

“Don’t forget your spelling test tomorrow,” Kayley warned just before the bell rang at the end of the day. “It’ll be first thing, so be ready.”

“And then the party?” yelled Howell, who never raised his hand.

“Yes,” Kayley decided to let the hand raising discipline pass just this once, “so don’t forget to bring the snack your mom signed up for.”

The bell rang and the students jumped to their feet. Kayley used the shuffling of twenty-eight pairs of eight-year-old feet as cover to quietly ask Jackson to help her wipe off the board. He jumped out of his seat eagerly and went to his task with a will.

Kayley stood behind watching him for a while. Every truth about Santa Claus case was different. She had seen many in her short lifespan in the second grade. Each one took special care and handling.

“Jackson,” Kayley said decidedly as she took her finger from her lips and moved a step towards the blond boy.

“All done, Miss Kelly!” Jackson said as he finished with a flourish.

“Jackson,” Kayley repeated, “I need someone to do something special for me at the class Christmas party tomorrow.”

“Really?” Jackson’s eyes widened. He was the only eight-year-old in the class who could look as eager as that. “I’ll do it!”

“Well,” Kayley leaned against a desk in the front row and put on a serious face. “I need someone to read a story aloud for part of an activity.”

“Sure thing!” Jackson agreed, nodding vigorously. “I’ll do it.”

Kayley was inwardly relieved. Talking in front of the class was not Jackson’s favorite thing to do, but she had started noticing that this wasn’t because he was afraid, just because sometimes he would rather think about things than talk about them.

“You can practice it at home tonight?” Kayley asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Jackson said, “I already have the spelling words memorized, so I don’t have any other homework. And,” Jackson paused for a second, “this isn’t really homework, right, Miss Kelly? I mean, it’s just a favor and all, right?”

“Of course,” Kayley smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of giving a good student like you extra homework.”

Jackson’s shoulders relaxed with relief, and Kayley turned away to hide her broadening smile.

“This is the story,” she walked to her desk and took a sheet of paper from a side drawer.

“A Gift for Santa Claus,” Jackson read from the sheet Kayley had handed him. He looked up at her doubtfully. “I don’t know, Miss Kelly,” Jackson shifted his feet, “Santa Claus and all—it’s just kid’s stuff, right?” The last word of his question hung in the air desperately.

“This,” Kayley said seriously, pointing to the paper, “is a really important part of our Christmas party,” she paused for emphasis. Second-graders were good at picking up on dramatic pauses like that. “Do you think you can do it?” she asked again.

“If you really need me,” Jackson beamed. He unzipped his backpack and placed the paper carefully in his folder.

“And remember,” Kayley called as Jackson tromped out of the classroom, “it’s a favor, not homework!”

Keeping with tradition, Kayley spent that evening in the most relaxed way possible, which this year happened to correspond with the TV rerun of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Occasionally she smiled at the thought of all her students’ parents rushing around at the grocery stores to pick up the packages of cookies they forgot to bake for the party or hot-gluing pom-poms to popsicle sticks to set up for the Rudolph craft. Those were things Kayley had learned parents are good at—and fully capable of stressing over—while she could take the night off because no homework was due the next day, or the next two weeks.

As for the solitude of her situation—in her own living room, on her own couch, eating her own bowl of popcorn—that was what she was especially savoring on the last day of school eve. She would miss her students during the vacation a little, but not until after the first week, and with all the family events crammed into the holidays, she knew from experience that she would have few, if any, leisurely nights like this until New Year’s was over. And the thought of her mother commenting on why Kayley couldn’t find a nice man like George Bailey prompted her to dig out another handful of popcorn and continue savoring the evening alone.

The room moms came early to school the next day to set up the classroom for the party. Every year was the same. The construction paper garlands and decorations that Kayley had taught in art lessons all month were not sufficient. There was always at least a couple interior-decorating intensive moms who would come and make the whole classroom over that morning with trees, garlands, and lights strung everywhere. It was something that Kayley didn’t mind. She had a thing for ornaments, after all, so she could be patient with other people’s holiday obsessions.

By the time the morning bell rang, the classroom looked like it was part of the North Pole display at the mall. Two years ago a dad had even dressed up as Santa Claus and made a guest appearance at the party, but Kayley was grateful that such an elaborate scheme was not in the works this year because what was most on her mind that morning was Jackson and the story she had given him to read.

“Miss Kelly!” he whispered as she crossed by his seat to start class. “I’ve got it learned by heart!” He was grinning like crazy, and Kayley was relieved. His enthusiasm was a good sign. She only hoped it would carry her plan through when Jackson had to stand up for himself in front of the whole class—in front of Howell and the other boys that Kayley was sure were the culprits of Jackson’s tears the day before.

“Welcome to our class Christmas party,” Kayley said when the class went quiet. “Welcome to all the parents who could come. We have a fun day planned with lots of food and activities, so we’ll let Bridger’s mom get us started.”

And that opening speech was pretty much Kayley’s largest task for the day, until it came to Jackson’s story in the afternoon. Like all wizened teachers, Kayley knew that “class party” pretty much meant a day off for the teacher.

All day she wove in and out of rows of desks commenting on the crafts and activities, helping parents open glue sticks, and chatting with the room moms. She was ready with a fresh roll of paper towels from the back of the classroom for the inevitable large spill of punch during snack time, and she was the only one who could thread Janey’s frayed yarn for her stocking craft for the twentieth time. But all of these tasks were easy—a cinch—when compared with teaching the concept of multiplication for the first time, something she tackled every February.

At two o’clock, things were winding down. All the trashcans in the room were filled to the brim with red and green construction paper clippings, punch-stained paper cups, and paper plates sticky with paste or frosting (or maybe both). All the children were squirmy and beaming and wearing glittered homemade hats. All the parents were bleary-eyed and exhausted and looking at Kayley like they couldn’t believe that she spent every day in this classroom with these kids. Everything was just as it should be.

“I want to thank everyone for making our class party such a success,” Kayley smiled, “especially all the parents. We have just one activity left before it’s time to go home. I’ve asked Jackson to read a special Christmas story for us to end our day.”

Kayley nodded at Jackson and he moved to the front of the classroom. His dad was standing at the back of the room, a tall, thin man with glasses. Kayley could never remember if he was an accountant or a stock broker, but he had never come to a class party before and she was so glad he was there today.

“A Gift for Santa Claus,” Jackson began. Kayley could see that his hands were shaking a little, but his voice was firm. “Once upon a time, and a long time ago,” Jackson read slowly and clearly, just as Kayley had taught them all to do when reading in front of the class, “there was a snowy village high on top of a mountain. The village had never seen a car, or a train, or an airplane. They didn’t have cellphones, or computers, or TVs, or anything. But they had big fur coats to keep them warm in winter and a lot of hard work to do every day.

“All except one boy in the village. He was sick and couldn’t walk. Everyone else in the town did so many things—pushing carts, making shoes, baking bread—but the boy couldn’t do anything except lie in bed or sit in a chair and watch out the window.

“At Christmastime, all the children in the village would write down what they wanted for Christmas, roll the paper up in a scroll with a ribbon tied around it, and leave it in the windowsill of their house for—” here Jackson faltered and gulped. Out of the corner of her eye, Kayley saw Howell nudge his neighbor, but Jackson didn’t look at Howell. Instead, he saw his father at the back of the room, took a deep breath, and read on.

“For Santa Claus,” Jackson continued firmly. “And on Christmas Eve this year, Santa Claus would come by each house, read the notes, and leave a gift.”

“This year the little boy who couldn’t walk almost didn’t write a note. Even though he had something very big to wish for—that he could walk again—he didn’t think he deserved a Christmas gift. Everyone else in the village worked so hard, but he couldn’t do anything. Finally, just before he went to bed on Christmas Eve, he thought of what he wanted to write and left his note on the windowsill just like everybody else.”

“The next morning, Christmas morning, was sunny and bright. All the children of the village ran outside, bundled in their soft fur coats, to play with their new toys, all except the little boy who couldn’t walk. On his porch was a note written on the finest paper he had ever seen and in beautiful gold ink. This is what the note said: ‘Thank you for the best Christmas gift ever. Love, Santa Claus.’

“Most people in the village didn’t know what had happened to make the boy that couldn’t walk so happy, but a few had peeked at his note from the night before. ‘Dear Santa Claus,’ he had written, ‘Please, I would love my gift to be that you have a Merry Christmas.’ And those people knew that no one had a greater gift for Christmas than the boy himself because he had given a gift of joy to another.”

The classroom filled with applause and Jackson took a few bows before retreating, flush-faced and beaming, back to his seat.

Kayley shook all the parents’ hands as they left the classroom and wished dozens of students a Merry Christmas in return for their snickered, “See you next year, Miss Kelly!” Twenty minutes after the last mom left with her four boxes of artificial pine boughs, Kayley locked the classroom door and drove away from the school. She would be back later to redecorate the classroom for the new unit in January, but all that could wait at least a week, if not a few days more.

She had not had a chance to speak with Jackson after he performed his part so well, but she had not meant to either. His confidence throughout the reading was enough to show her that the story had worked its magic. It was enough that she had given it to him and that his father was there to hear him read it.

But on Christmas morning, Kayley was pleasantly surprised to find a small, beautifully wrapped gift box on her porch. Tied in the ribbon was a piece of paper rolled into a scroll with this note scrawled in second-grade handwriting: “Dear Miss Kelly, Thank you for letting me read the Christmas story at the party. I asked Santa Claus to give you a Merry Christmas this year because you are the best teacher ever. And then Mom said we could help Santa by leaving you a gift, so here it is. Love, Jackson.”

Kayley felt like her smile was as broad as Jackson’s had been when he finished reading the story as she untied the shiny red ribbon of the box. Inside was ornament number two hundred and forty-four.

Critique: We lose the ornament theme. I’d suggest weaving it in throughout the story, perhaps have her trying to decide which is her favorite. Add a description of the ornament Jackson gives her. The first three paragraphs were a tad slow for me, but then it picked up and kept me involved in the story. A few awkward sentences, but overall very good. Oh, but don’t use the word fetish. Obsession works better.

What I liked best: I could just picture her poor tree groaning under all those ornaments! Great classroom scenes. Great voice.

Publication ready: Yes, with just a bit of editing.

21 Third Strike Christmas

2011-09-24T21:01:00.001-06:00

Kevin was on his third strike this Christmas, and he knew he was in trouble.

He blamed it all on those charming jewelry commercials that start airing after Thanksgiving. It’s early Christmas morning. Prince Charming and Perfect Hair are sitting under a large tree in their ironed red pajamas. It looks like all the presents have been opened, but no, Prince Charming whisks out a small box with a red bow. Perfect Hair’s eyes glimmer. Charming opens it. Hair gasps. They hug. Then they kiss. 365 more days of marital happiness are guaranteed because the Prince Charming brought out the perfect present on Christmas morning.

For twenty-five years Kevin was indoctrinated that Prince Charming husbands always produced the perfect surprise on Christmas morning. No worries, he mused as December approached a few months after his wedding, I can cook up that perfect open-gasp-hug-kiss moment easy.

Deeply in debt for dental school, he and his wife Katie stretched and gave themselves twenty dollars to spend on each other. The visit to the jewelry store and the chuckle of the employee (Son, we don’t sell anything for less than two hundred dollars) had left him stumped, but nonetheless confident.

His break came two weeks before the big day when Katie ripped her favorite A-line dress with her violin case after coming home from church on Sunday. Kevin didn’t know what made a dress an A-line meant was (he still doesn’t), but he hatched a plan. Kevin had a sister in town that had a sewing machine—he and his sister would make a new dress for Katie.

The good news was that Rachel, his sister, knew what an A-line dress was and had a pattern. The bad news was that twenty doesn’t go far at a fabric store. In the end Kevin managed to get the very end of a roll that was mispriced and, with the help of two coupons and a growing line of increasingly impatient holiday shoppers behind him, he was shooed out of the fabric store with enough fabric for the dress.

Well, at least he thought it was enough fabric. Rachel said two yards wasn’t enough to make a skirt, not to mention a dress. Nor did she seem to think that one hundred percent wool was the right fabric. But Kevin was insistent that they try (It’s our first Christmas, we have to try!) and they spent a whole afternoon sewing. They had barely finished the bodice when Kevin had to go, but Rachel promised she could finish it on her own.

Two days before Christmas Kevin picked up the already wrapped dress from his sister. “Oh, it turned out beautifully,” Rachel insisted, “Katie will just love it.”

The sun rose on Christmas morning to find Kevin and Katie sitting in front of their borrowed three-foot Christmas tree drinking candy cane hot chocolate. The night before had ended with a reading of Luke 2 and promises that neither of them would wake up before sunrise, but all the same they sprang out of bed while it was still dark, ready to share their first Christmas together. When their few presents had been opened and laughed over (Oh, your aunt’s sweater will never fit! and How did your brother know we needed a plunger?) Kevin though the moment was right. Katie’s hair wasn’t perfect, but he was feeling like Prince Charming. “Ah, you probably thought that dental school recruiting t-shirt was your Christmas present,” he said with a grin, “Just you wait.” He ran into the bedroom and pulled the box out from its hiding place under his gym shorts.

She grinned as she neatly untied the bow (We should save it for next year) and then noisily ripped off the wrapping paper (We can’t save that) but instead of Katie gasping at the sight of the dress, Kevin gasped.

The dress was beautiful. The light of the dawn shining through the window made the dress shimmer. In fact it looked perfectly soft and silky. “Let me see that,” Kevin said, grabbing at the dress. She tried to stop him, but it was too late. One touch made it clear it was silk. Katie crossed her arms and put on her pouty face as Kevin turned it over and found a tag in the collar.

“Funny, I didn’t think my sister would bother sewing in a Dillard’s tag,” he said sarcastically.

She frowned. “I was hoping that if I acted excited enough you wouldn’t notice!”

Humph. He didn’t feel like Prince Charming, he felt like a fool. He marched off into the kitchen on the pretense of getting more hot chocolate.

A few seconds later he heard the pattering of bare feet as she followed him in. “Honey, it was awful sweet of you to try and make me a dress. Rachel called me last week in an awful fret. There wasn’t nearly enough fabric and she knew that I couldn’t wear a wool dress.”

Kevin just put another candy cane in his hot chocolate.

“And when I got a check from my grandparents, I thought it was the thought that would count.”

Kevin cast a sideways look at his wife and saw her how her face, wrought with a mix of guilt and hope, was completely sincere. He was really disappointed, but eventually he laughed, she laughed, and they laughed every time she wore that dress to church.

Right after the next Halloween they found out that Katie was pregnant, and if ever there was a time for a Prince Charming moment it was now. Kevin’s homework load was getting more intense and a very morning sick Kate found working almost unbearable. The evenings and weekends of carefree running around had turned into quieter, more meaningful nights. Sometimes Kevin would read as Katie laid her head in his lap until she fell asleep, or, more likely, she’d read silently as he tried to cram yet another hundred anatomy terms into his overfull brain.

Kevin knew that Christmas would be the perfect time to show how much he really appreciated Katie. He had been saving for months now, skipping a lunch here and there and saving as much change as he could. Their budget was now only ten dollars, but with all that he had saved, he had enough for two pounds of See’s Chocolate. At first Rachel’s suggestion of chocolate had seemed ridiculous (Girls don’t gasp over chocolate!), but he had changed his mind. Everything Katie wanted since the pregnancy chocolate had turned into a major food group. If Kate ever felt bad about something (which happened a lot) then chocolate was surely the answer.

So chocolate it was that found its way under Kevin’s gym shorts three days before Christmas. Once again, Christmas found them out of bed early despite vain promises to the contrary. Once again, hot chocolate was the treat of choice (Katie had three mugs of it) as they opened presents under a tree that they now owned. Once again, Kevin waited for just the right moment to announce that the pens inscribed with his dental school logo were not her real present, and he sprang up to get the box of chocolates. He shook it gently as he came around the corner. Katie grinned and Kevin knew this was the moment. His whole life he had waited for this.

She gasped as she opened it. She pulled off the lid and immediately threw one of the chocolates into her mouth. She hugged him, gave him and a kiss that left chocolate on his cheek and then threw another chocolate in her mouth. She looked like she was in heaven.

“What kind is your favorite?” Kevin asked as he picked up the lid and started reading the list of what was inside. Cherry, double chocolate, caramel—and his personal favorite, orange.

“Here, have one,” she tried to say between chewing the two chocolates that were already in her mouth, “they’re great.”

He looked at the box but didn’t see anything that looked like orange. Of course maybe one of the two that Katie had been taken was the orange chocolate one. He was just about to ask when he noticed that instead of two empty chocolate slots there were three empty chocolates slots.

Katie seemed to notice the disparity in math, too, because she quickly started talking about the new sweater her aunt had sent.

Kevin interrupted. “Darling, you took two chocolates, but three are missing. Maybe they gave us a bad box…”

Katie’s guilty face made it clear that it had been a mistake. At least not See’s mistake. “I found them,” she confessed, “when I was doing laundry…” Kevin didn’t seem to understand so she went on, “I needed chocolate so bad yesterday. I couldn’t live knowing there was chocolate right there and I couldn’t have it. So I snuck one, put the wrapping back on, and this morning I took two in hopes that you’d lose count and not notice.” She burst into guilty sobs and Kevin swallowed his pride, gave her a big hug, and told her it was okay. It was at least a week before Kevin realized that her gasp, hugs, and kisses had all been faked. He really hadn’t gotten that perfect moment after all.

The next twelve months had brought an end to the pregnancy and the beginning of parenting. Somehow Kevin managed to survive his classes even though baby Charlotte didn’t seem to believe in letting anyone sleep. In fact he even managed to love Charlotte to death despite his desperately baggy eyes. Katie gave up work and took up feeding, changing diapers, and blogging. She also took on most of the shopping, budgeting, cleaning, and worrying about the house. All her extra work was vital to Kevin who was staying at school later and later every day. What free time he had was spent sending off applications to residency programs and he already had two interview trips planned for the holiday—one right before Christmas and one starting the day after. The only thing Katie really wanted this year was time, and it was the one thing he couldn’t give. Kevin need some way to say I love you, it had to be something amazing, something heartwarming and meaningful. And something that she wouldn’t find beforehand. If he couldn’t deliver a surprise this year, he knew he probably never would. It was a Prince Charming Christmas or nothing this year.

But things were getting complicated. One of this interviews would leave him coming home late Christmas Eve. There would be no time to shop before Christmas morning. He started talking to all his friends at school and of the course of a few days he formed a fool-proof plan. Maybe this wouldn’t be a third strike Christmas after all.

Katie’s sat hunched over the edge of the bathtub scrubbing Charlotte’s hair when Kevin came in the door a week before Christmas. Without looking up she said hello and started talking about how this was Charlottes third bath today. Kevin listened quietly without saying anything.

“First she had an accident, and then she dumped my lunch on her hair and then ten minutes ago…” she trailed off as she realized something was different. Looking up from Charlotte’s hair she turned to see Kevin in the doorway holding a large sack.

“What’s that, Baby?”

Kevin grinned, said Ho, Ho, Ho, and walked over to their Christmas tree (placed on a table out of little baby reach) and silently started pulling presents out of the bag. Katie wiped her hands on a towel and walked up behind him.

“Honey, what’s going on? We only had eight dollars each this year, how…”

Kevin gave her a kiss on the cheek. “They’re not for you. At least, all but one aren’t for you. I was elected chief secret keeper for the dental school this year. None of the other guys can hide presents from their wives, so they gave they all to me. I’m keeping them here and they’ll come pick up their respective presents on Christmas Eve after I get back. Their presents will never be alone in their houses without them watching.” He pulled the last present out with a flourish and placed on top of the tall stack.

“You said all but one…that means…”

“That means one of them is yours. But none of them are labeled, so you don’t know which is yours. When I’m out of town interviewing, my present to you will be as safe as if it were still at the store.” He kissed her again. “You better keep your eye on that girl.”

Kevin’s interviews went well but left him drained. He called every night from his hotel to say good night to Charlotte (She’s smiling, Dear, I think she knows your voice) and then to say good night to Katie (Once we get a residency we’ll starting making some money—it won’t be much, but it will be something). The days melted away until the twenty-fourth and Kevin found himself being picked up at the airport by Katie and a sleeping Charlotte.

Their conversation on the drive rolled from his interviews, to her updates on the neighbors, at the blogs Katie followed, and finally to the blogs the neighbors followed, but it never quite managed to land on the subject of Christmas presents. Kevin tried to move in that direction (he enjoyed teasing), but every time he did, Katie quickly moved on to something else.

They made it home and at the prearranged time all of Kevin’s buddies showed up to collect their loot. They were all full of chuckles and winks as they went on their way, thanking Kevin heartily for providing a surprise Christmas this year (Elsa knows the minute she sees the package what’s inside) and it was past midnight when all the presents were gone except one very thin, rectangular one.

“We really should keep our promise and not get up early tomorrow,” Kevin said with a yawn. “I don’t think I’ll be very cheery before about nine tomorrow.”

“Actually, we’re setting the record for our earliest Christmas. It’s technically already Christmas morning.”

Kevin gave her a tired half smile as he climbed into bed. “May this be the latest we’re ever up on Christmas Eve.”

“It won’t, in a few years we’ll be up even later putting our presents for Charlotte,” Kate said sleepily as Kevin turned off the light and quickly fell asleep.

An hour later, Kevin felt Katie sit up in bed. Kevin clicked on the light and rolled over to look at her. She just sat there with a frown on her face. “What’s up, Baby? Bad dream?”

She looked over at him sheepishly. “I can’t sleep. This is the third year you’ve tried to keep your present a secret from me and I know how important this is to you. The first two years I could fake being surprised, or at least try, but this year I can’t. I just have to let you know, I can’t go on pretending.”

Kevin sat up straighter in bed. “You found out what the present is? How? I thought I had the perfect plan.”

Katie grabbed his hand. “I tried so hard this year, Kevin, honest. I didn’t lift a corner of wrapping paper or even shake one of the presents. But a guy from Craig’s sheet music called and asked if you liked violin the song you bought. It’s really sweet of you to get me some sheet music, I’m genuinely excited, but I can’t try and fake that gasp you’re looking for.”

Kevin patted her on the hand. “When did you find out?”

She looked down at the covers. “The day after you left. It wasn’t hard to guess that it was the thin package.”

Kevin gave her a hug. “Thanks for telling me, Honey. Don’t worry about it. It’ll still be a great Christmas.”

It was. Charlotte loved all the wrapping paper and ignored all the fancy toys from grandparents (They never spent this much on me for Christmas!). When all the presents were opened and Charlotte was down for her first nap, Kevin and Katie went back to the tree and he handed her the floppy, thin present.

“Thanks in advance,” she said sheepishly as she carefully untied the bow and then ripped off the paper, throwing it in the pile for Charlotte.

Then she gasped. Then she threw her arms around Kevin and gave him a wallop of a kiss. Fallen to the ground in the midst of all the embracing was a single sheet of paper with the following printed in green and red letters:

“I really don’t have an interview next week. We get to spend it all together. Merry Christmas.”

Critique: Other than a few typos and what are probably cut and paste errors, I LOVE THIS STORY!

What I liked best: Love your writing style—the humor, the cleverness.

Publication ready: YES! You’re in!

20 The Parable of the Coal

2011-09-24T20:45:00.001-06:00

“And what did you get, Joy?” Mrs. Leaneon asked the little fourth grader in the front row. Mrs. Leaneon was worn out. She had only started class four minutes ago, and already Broody brought up the one subject that little kids found impossible to drop: Christmas presents. It was a nightmare. Every year, right after Christmas break ended, somebody would bring up presents, and then all the kids would chatter on about it all day, even in the middle of a difficult test. It was terrible, particularly for an elementary school teacher.

It took her a moment to realize that Joy hadn’t answered. “Joy?” Mrs. Leaneon prompted. The girl finally replied, looking strangely content.

“I got a big box of coal.” As Joy said this, there was a huge gasp that came from all corners of the room at once; the children clearly thought that Santa was punishing Joy. Mrs. Leaneon didn’t know what to say. Joy was the sweetest student that had ever entered Mrs. Leaneon’s classroom. Was the coal a cruel joke? And why did Joy look so happy?

“I’m sure Mr. Claus made a mistake,” was all the teacher could think to say.

Joy shook her head. “There was no mistake. I got what I asked for.” Before Mrs. Leaneon could reply, Joy started to explain: “We don’t have electricity. Our stove takes coal, but lately we haven’t been able to afford the coal that would keep the house warm.”

Mrs. Leaneon suddenly knew why Joy was always asking other students for outgrown clothing or leftover pieces from their lunches.

It felt like years had passed before the bell rang at the end of school. When Mrs. Leaneon asked Joy to stay a little longer so that she could write a note to Joy’s mother, Joy looked as if she was trying to figure out what she did wrong. The child was, in fact, shocked when Mrs. Leaneon said she was asking for permission to take Joy clothes shopping, and offered to buy her anything she wanted. “And feel free to drop by for dinner any time.”

Critique: It needs some smoother transitions. And more—more character development and arc, more dialog, more from the students, more internal thought from the teacher, more setting and sensory imagery. What you have is a nugget that needs to be expanded.

What I liked best: I really liked the clever twist of a girl asking for coal.

Publication ready: No. But with some depth and development, I think it has real potential.

19 Happily Ever After!

2011-09-24T20:30:00.001-06:00

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in the wintry kingdom of Anolivia. She had reached that age of accountability, where tradition said she must learn homemaking skills. It was Christmas Eve and she had a wonderful breakfast in store for her parents. She was going over the supplies and realized that she didn’t have the eggs and milk that she needed. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to get the needed supplies in the morning. She knew curfew would be coming up very soon and the castle doors would be locked for the night. She and her ladies maid decided to risk it by running out to the dairy shed. They made it out to the shed in good time. They gathered the supplies and they were much more weighed down on the way back to the castle and could not run as fast. They had seen the mean guard at the doors and knew they had to hurry. The hurried back to the castle as fast as they could move. They heard the clock chiming and they could the see the castle doors. The guard was closing the door and he could see and he wasn’t going to wait for them. Just when they thought that they would have to spend the night on the cold steps the white knight appeared to battle the mean guard. They watched as they battled and the white knight prevailed. He showed his true chivalry and held the door open. They were able to save to bring the needed supplies for Christmas breakfast and the white knight saved the day. They were able to spend a wonderful Christmas and lived happily ever after.

Critique: This is not really a short story. It’s a very quick & dirty, bare-bones plot line for a story. You need to beef it up. Give us some characterization, dialog, sensory imagery. We need a character arc, where the princess learns something or grows and changes. And personally, I’d rather see the princess save herself, instead of being rescued by a white knight. It has potential, but it needs work.

What I liked best: That the princess sneaks out to get eggs and milk. Shows she has a bit of a rebellious streak, and I like that. (But not sure it's entirely believable or accurate for a princess in a castle to run out of eggs and milk.)

Publication ready: No.

18 The Christmas Angel

2011-09-24T20:00:00.001-06:00

“John, don’t be ridiculous.” Sarah’s mother’s voice rang down the hall.

Sarah staggered out of her room and into the hallway rubbing fitful sleep from her eyes. She hesitated, listening to her parents argue. Lately, it seemed that’s all they did.

“C’mon Nikki,” her father said in a gruff voice, “It’s Christmas. Let’s spend it together.”

Sarah’s ears perked up. She couldn’t remember the last time they had all been together as a family.

“You know I have this big project due. The pressure’s on.”

“That’s why it’s such a good idea. You need a break.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nikki asked.

“Sarah needs your time as well. When’s the last time you kissed her goodnight or read her a bedtime story?”

“Oh please. You know the demands of my job.”

“You’re running, Nikki.”

“Running?” Nikki let out a sharp laugh. “From what?”

“From the past. From Amb—“

“We are not talking about that!”

John voice became gentle. “You’ll have to talk about it sometime.”

Nikki’s voice was hard, “We’re done with this conversation.”

Sarah trudged down the stairs and entered the kitchen. Both of her parents looked up at her.

“Good morning, Pumpkin,” her father said as he set the morning paper on the table.

“Morning,” Sarah mumbled, giving her father a kiss on the cheek.

“Sarah, we’re doing some shopping in town today.” Nikki said.

“Can’t I stay here?” Sarah pouted.

“No. Your father has to work so you’ll be coming with me. Now go get your coat on. I’ll be waiting in the car. We’ll pick up breakfast on the way out.”

Sarah looked at her father dejectedly.

“Don’t worry, Pumpkin,” he said. “Maybe while you’re shopping you can make a wish list for Santa.”

“There is no such thing as Santa,” Nikki called over her shoulder as she walked out the door. “C’mon, Sarah.”

Traveling in silence, Sarah watched the gray clouds out the window. “Do you think it will snow?” she asked her mother.

Nikki shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I hope so. It feels like Christmas when it snows.”

Nikki flipped on the radio and Sarah sat back in her seat, smiling. Christmas was only four days away and she couldn’t wait! A familiar Christmas song began to play.

“Oh, I love this song!” Sarah cried and started singing along.

Nikki abruptly turned the radio off.

“What did you do that for?”

“I don’t feel like listening the radio.”

Sarah folded her arms and stuck out her bottom lip. “Why do you hate Christmas?”

“Don’t start that again.”

“Christmas is fun,” Sarah said, “the lights, the music, the presents…”

“The money.”

“You could go sledding with Dad and me. That’s free.”

Nikki sighed. “Someday you’ll realize that Christmas isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Sarah shook her head. “I’ll always love Christmas.”

Nikki turned a corner and pulled against the curb. “We’re here.”

Sarah thrilled at the lights and street decorations as she climbed out of the car. “It’s so pretty.”

Her mother grabbed her hand and started walking down the sidewalk. Sarah skipped happily next to her, gazing at the multi-colored lights framing the store windows. The displays in the shops beckoned to her. One window caught her eye and she stopped to stare through the glass. It was a giant toy store.

Inside sat a decorated Christmas tree with a bright red train set—its cars carrying tiny bundles of candy cane and licorice treats—circling it. Underneath the tree sat two of the most perfect glass dolls Sarah had ever seen. The one with tight blonde curls and blue eyes wore a lacy pink dress and matching hat. The other had beautiful red hair, set in ringlets. Her blue dress looked silky and she carried a frilly umbrella.

Sarah turned to her mother. “Can we go in, Mom? Please?”

Nikki pulled on Sarah’s hand. “No. I have a meeting this evening and have to get all of my errands done before it gets too late.”

“But Mom, look at that doll.” Sarah pointed to the glass doll with blonde curls. “It looks just like me.”

Nikki gave a quick glance at the display. “Okay, let’s go.”

“And that other one is so beautiful. Can I have one for Christmas? I don’t care which one.”

“We’ll see.”

“I’ll take really good care of her.”

“Sarah,” Nikki warned, pulling Sarah away from the display.

“But…”

Nikki exhaled in frustration. “You know, I have a schedule to keep. Time does not stand still so that we can look at a bunch of useless toys.”

“But…”

“You are wasting my time.” Nikki pulled hard on Sarah’s hand. “Now come on!”

Sarah jerked back and folded her arms in front of her. “No.”

Nikki’s eyes widened. “You do not tell me ‘no’.”

Sarah’s lower lip began to tremble.

Nikki put her hands on her hips. “Now start moving or you will have no Christmas. Do you understand me?”

“You can’t take away Christmas!” Sarah shouted as tears began to fall down her cheeks.

“Oh, yes I can. You wait and see.”

“I hate you!” Sarah said with gritted teeth and clenched fists.

“Sarah Marie Roberts!”

Sarah gave her mother a seething glare, turned on her heels and ran, ignoring her mother’s calls.

***

Sarah’s legs burned. It wasn’t until she stopped to catch her breath that she looked up to find the faces of complete strangers surrounding her.

“Mom?” she squeaked, but the sound didn’t carry. The people had fierce looks on their faces and it frightened her. Dashing to the end of the street, she turned into the entrance of a park. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she wandered aimlessly, lost and alone.

Sinking to the ground at the base of an old oak tree, she pulled her legs toward her and wrapped her arms around them. Her body shook with her sobs, the only sound echoing through the empty park.

***

“Hello there.”

Sarah jumped at the unexpected sound and looked up to see a beautiful young woman in a flowing pink dress standing next to her. This young woman seemed familiar and instead of being afraid, she felt comforted and safe.

“Are you okay?” The young woman asked.

Sarah shook her head. “I’m lost.”

The young woman sat beside Sarah and put her arm around her. “My name is Amberlee. What’s your name?”

“Sarah.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

Sarah gave a shy smile. She looked up at Amberlee and noticed her curly red hair and bright green eyes. “You look just like one of the dolls from the window at the store.”

Amberlee laughed like a tinkling of a bell. “I’d like to see that doll.”

“The other one looked like me,” Sarah said, tugging on her blonde curls. A burst of cold wind blew past them, making Sarah shiver.

“You must be so cold. Here,” Amberlee removed a beautiful white, lacy shawl from her shoulders and draped them around Sarah. “Is that better?”

Sarah nodded. “It does feel better. I just…” She began to cry again. “Can you help me find my mom?”

“Sure, honey. Where did you last see her?”

“At the giant toy store.”

“Well, let’s go there then.”

They stood up and Amberlee took Sarah’s hand as they walked along the path that led to the entrance gate.

“Are you excited for Christmas?” Amberlee asked.

Sarah shrugged. “I guess. My mom hates Christmas.”

“Your mother has had to deal with a lot of heartache and sadness. She’s trying the best she can,” Amberlee said, “but you can help her.”

“I can?”

Amberlee nodded.

“How?”

“There’s a Christmas carol my mother used to sing to me.”

“I love Christmas carols.”

Amberlee started singing, her voice smooth and calming, fit for an angel.

See the babe in the manger
Swaddled and warm
As the angels watch over
Protecting from harm

Silent night, Peaceful night
My soul is at rest
Little babe in the manger
Through him I am blessed

Does he know he’s the Savior
Shepherd to all
If I will but follow
And answer his call

Silent night, Peaceful night
My soul is at rest
Little babe in the manger
Through him I am blessed

He will carry my burdens
He’ll calm my fears
When I pray he will listen
And dry my tears

Silent night, Peaceful night
This comfort so real
Little babe in the manger
His love I feel

Sweet babe in the manger
Before Thee I kneel

“That’s beautiful,” Sarah whispered.

“My mother wrote it.”

“Wow!”

Amberlee laughed. “I’m going to teach it to you. I want you to sing it to your mother.” She kissed Sarah on the head. “It will remind her of the true meaning of Christmas and that the Savior will heal any heartache she has.”

“Okay.”

They spent the rest their walk singing the song. Amberlee would sing a line and then Sarah repeated it. Soon they were singing it together, over and over.

They strode out of the park and into the busy street, where a police officer stood at the corner.

“Sir,” Amberlee said, approaching the officer, “This is Sarah Roberts. She’s lost and looking for her mother.”

“Sarah Roberts? Yes…” He held up his finger, telling them to wait as he spoke into his radio. “Command Center, this is Officer Jones. We’ve got Sarah Roberts. She is safe.”

Amberlee turned to Sarah. “Sweetie, I’ve got to go now. Officer Jones will take good care of you.”

Sarah nodded and began to take the lace shawl off her shoulders but Amberlee stopped her.

“Keep the shawl…to remember me by.”

“I love you,” Sarah said as she held on tight to Amberlee.

“I love you too.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

Amberlee smiled. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again. Remember to sing the Christmas carol to your mom. Help her remember the true meaning of Christmas.”

“I will.”

Amberlee gave Sarah one more quick squeeze and kissed the top of her head. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Amberlee.” Sarah’s eyes filled with tears as she watched Amberlee walk away. She felt as if she had known Amberlee her entire life.

***

Officer Jones led Sarah to a parking lot holding several police cars. Her mother was standing by one of them.

“Mama,” Sarah squealed as she raced to her mother.

“Sarah!” Nikki stooped down and gathered Sarah up in her arms. “Oh baby, are you alright?” Nikki stroked Sarah’s hair, tears streaming down her face.

Sarah nodded meekly. “I’m okay.” She looked up into her mother’s bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry I ran away.”

Nikki stood up and addressed Officer Jones, “Thank you so much.”

Officer Jones nodded, “I’m glad everything worked out okay.” He stooped down to look Sarah in the eye. “You take care now.”

“I will.”

“No more running away.”

Sarah shook her head vigorously. “Never.”

“Okay then. Goodbye.”

Sarah waved goodbye and Nikki took her hand and led her to their car. As Sarah started climbing into the back seat, her mother reached out and pulled her into her arms. “I’m so glad you’re safe. I was so worried about you. I prayed that we would find you.”

Sarah’s eyes got big. “But you never pray.”

“This is the first time I’ve prayed in a very long time,” Nikki’s voice cracked.

“God answered your prayer, Mama.” She grinned. “He sent Amberlee to help me.”

Nikki stroked Sarah’s hair. “Who?”

“Amberlee,” Sarah said in a bubbly voice. “She was beautiful. She looked just like the glass doll I saw at the store. She had red hair and sparkling green eyes and she helped me find the policeman and gave me this to keep me warm.” Sarah pointed to the white lacy shawl, still draped across her shoulders.

Nikki reached out with trembling hands and fingered the shawl. Tears sprung to her eyes as she brought her hand to her mouth.

“Mama? Are you okay?”

Nikki shook her head. She tried to speak, but words didn’t come out.

Sarah placed a hand on her mother’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Mama. Amberlee wanted me to sing you a song— See the babe in the manger, swaddled and warm…”

Tears freely fell down Nikki’s cheeks.

“Mama?”

Nikki brushed away the tears with the back of her hand. “I want to show you something.” Digging through a pocket of her purse, she pulled out a rectangle piece of paper and handed it to Sarah.

Sarah looked at the paper and saw the picture of a girl staring up at her. “Mom, it looks like Amberlee.”

“It is Amberlee.”

Sarah gazed up at her mother, confusion filling her eyes.

Nikki studied the picture for a moment. She put her arm around Sarah, pulling her close. “Amberlee is your sister,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “This picture was taken when she was seven—your age.”

“My sister?” Sarah said, gaping at her mother with wide eyes.

“I have a story to tell you. It’s a sad story, but I have a feeling it will end up happy.”

“Okay,” Sarah said, watching her mother intently.

“A long time ago, before you were born, Daddy and I had a little girl. Her name was Amberlee and we loved her very much. She always wanted a little sister and kept asking us when her sister would come to live with us.” Nikki gave Sarah a quick squeeze. “We had a very happy family and Christmas was our favorite time of year.”

“Even yours?” Sarah asked bewildered.

Nikki laughed. “I loved Christmas. Remember the Christmas Carol you just sang to me?”

Sarah nodded.

“I wrote that Carol.”

“You wrote it? Mom, it’s so beautiful.”

“During the Christmas season, I used to sing it to Amberlee every night before bedtime.” Nikki sighed and stared off into space. “Then, seven years ago, just two days before Christmas, a terrible thing happened. Amberlee was crossing the street while walking to her friend’s house and…a car came out of nowhere and hit her.” Nikki shook her head and fingered the shawl on Sarah’s shoulders. Her voice quivered. “I made this shawl for Amberlee when she died.”

Sarah reached over and held her mother’s hand. “Is that why you don’t like Christmas? Because it reminds you of Amberlee?”

“Christmas has been very hard for me since Amberlee died. But now I have a happy Christmas memory—finding you.” She hugged Sarah tight. “I love you, Sarah.”

Sarah hugged her mother back as her body filled with warmth. “I love you, too.”

They sat in each other’s embrace for several minutes, tears streaming down both of their faces. Nikki let go of Sarah and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“We’re a mess.”

Sarah laughed.

“I guess we had better get home.”

***

Sarah awoke to the sun streaming through her window. Sitting up in her bed, she rubbed her eyes. Today was Christmas! She jumped out of bed and threw open the door, running down the hallway and into her parent’s bedroom. Christmas music drifted upstairs from the radio in the kitchen.

“Mom! Dad!” Sarah cried.

“Merry Christmas!” John said as he wrapped Sarah in his arms.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetie,” said Nikki, “Did you sleep well?”

Sarah gave a vigorous nod.

“Are you ready to see the tree?” John asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“Yes, Yes,” Sarah exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Both Nikki and John laughed.

They all marched down the stairway like toy soldiers. As Sarah turned the corner, she shrieked with delight. In the living room sat a beautiful tree decorated with shiny garland and red and gold bulbs. A beautiful angel topped the tree. Underneath the tree stood a present wrapped in candy cane paper with a big red bow on top.

“For me?” Sarah gasped.

Her father nodded.

She gently ripped the paper to find a white box. She gently opened the lid.

“Oh, Daddy, It looks just like me!”

Inside laid the porcelain doll she had seen at the store. She lifted it out of the box, brushed the wrinkles out of the pink dress and rearranged the blonde curls.

“There’s another present,” Nikki said, nodding her head toward a box wrapped in blue polka dots with a white bow on top.

Sarah gingerly picked up the package and hesitated.

“Go ahead,” her mother urged.

Sarah opened the present to find another white box. She lifted the flap. “Oh,” she gasped as she pulled out the doll with the blue dress and red curls.

“Momma, it looks just like—“

“Amberlee. I know.” Nikki said with a smile.

Sarah held both dolls in her arms and gave them a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“This way you can always remember your sister.” John said as he walked over and put his arm around Nikki.

“I’ll never forget her,” Sarah said, hugging her dolls again.

That night, after her mother and father tucked her in bed and kissed her goodnight, Sarah said a prayer, thanking God for sending Amberlee to help her family. She looked out the window at the lights lining the rooftops and a wave of comfort and warmth washed over her.

“I love you, Amberlee,” she whispered.

She thought she saw a star twinkle a little brighter.

Critique: Mom is too mean in the beginning for such a quick change of heart to be believable. Pacing is inconsistent. It slows down too much when Mom is telling Amberlee’s story.

Personal note: In a realistically based story like this, it always makes me a little uncomfortable when you throw in corporeal visitations from the deceased. I don’t mind dreams or even a waking vision, but when you can hold their hand and they give you their clothing, it sort of creeps me out a little. Maybe it wouldn’t bother other readers.

What I liked best: Great dialog between John and Nikki at the beginning.

Publication ready: Not quite yet, but it has potential.

17 Shoe Box of Memories

2011-09-24T19:21:00.001-06:00

Andrea gazed out the window as the first snow fell, blanketing the ground with its grace. It was Christmas Eve and any other year she would be jumping for joy at this wondrous sight. Andrea and her Dad would try to build a snowman or sprinkle reindeer food with dashes of glitter scattered about so that Santa’s sleigh could find the food easily.

Those moments were only memories now. Her father had passed away the day after Christmas one year ago. As she cried herself to sleep many times in the past year, she tried to hold on to his embrace and the image of his gentle face. Her loneliness had continued to grow rather than subside.

Especially now.

Andrea wanted to stop the arrival of Christmas Day unless it could bring her father back to life! No other gift could be greater than his self-assuring presence and constant love for her.

Her mother tried to create the excitement of past holidays by continuing family traditions. Beautifully wrapped packages sat under a balsam tree decorated with favorite ornaments and twinkling lights. Homemade dressing was being prepared for a feast of all feasts.

Yet, none of these holiday trimmings seemed to fill the gap and make Andrea whole once more.

Fortunately, she had her shoebox. It was neatly decorated with hearts of many colors and golden stars. Beneath the cover, photographs, travel brochures, post cards including a trip to Niagara Falls, a broken wrist watch, a tie clip and other treasures symbolizing her father’s life filled the container as well as the barren spot in her heart.

Tonight, it was time, time for Andrea to feel safe, secure and loved. So, she went to her dresser drawer and carefully pulled the box from it’s’ place, cradling it like a baby in her arms. After many minutes, she spread the contents of the box on the floor to be touched, read and admired.
She felt close to him now.

But on the floor nestled in her collection was an advertising card that Andrea had not seen before. It was a rectangle in blue and advertised the top automobile glass companies with their phone numbers and addresses on it.

The third company on the card was her father’s “Glass Sales and Service” and beside the name, his familiar phone number. Andrea couldn’t even begin to count the number of times that she had dialed that number, anxious to share her accomplishments at school or simply to tell him “yes, it had been a good day.”

After he passed away, her mother had sold the business and the new owners changed its name, requesting a new phone number. Had that number which offered Andrea private words of concern with her father been disconnected forever? Maybe it had been issued to another business or home for those to share similar conversations as Andrea had experienced
A voice, deep within, had prompted Andrea to find out. Why, she didn’t know, but, still the whisper of the unknown urged her on.

Cautiously, she picked up the receiver and dialed the number…

There seemed to be a connection! The number had not been discontinued after all!

After two rings, a voice responded.

“Good evening, Glass Sales and Service,” followed by a brief pause, “Hello, Andrea.”

The voice was distant and almost inaudible due to crackling on the line but there was no question whom the voice belonged to.

“Dad?” she stammered, her throat parched, her heart throbbing as she shut her eyes quickly, hoping to hear a response over the pounding in her chest.

“Yes, Sweetheart,” her father said calmly and deliberately.

Andrea could not believe what was happening or how and why. All she knew is that her father was finally here. Tears of joy began to flow freely down her face, “Dad, are you really alive?” she asked. There was a pause that seemed endless.

“Andrea, I cannot come back to the life as you know it. But…..”

“No! It wasn’t true! Andrea had been dreaming, a long and dreadful dream this year. He was really coming home soon and……..

“What you are hearing, Andrea is the voice of your heart, my spirit that will always be there.” She was so confused and at a complete loss for words. Though buried within her soul, Andrea knew he was right. His funeral had been too vivid, too horribly real and that indistinguishable voice inside of her convinced her that death was final, final in the physical way.

He did not wait for her reaction because he knew it would be too difficult for her to understand. So, he continued.

“Regardless of where I am today, death cannot tear us apart. If you believe in the importance of your life and look inside your heart, you will always find me waiting. Waiting to guide you through problems and loving you as you are and will be. Don’t ever lose hope for what is hidden in your heart. Just open it, Andrea, like you do with your shoebox of memories and you know what, if you listen carefully, you can hear the angels……………..”

Static drowned his words.

“Dad, I love you…….” Her voice suddenly dropped dramatically, “Dad, are you there?”

Within seconds, she heard a click followed by a dial tone. He was gone.

Instantly, Andrea dialed the number again. It began to ring and suddenly she heard, “I am sorry, that number has been disconnected.”

As she hung up the phone, Andrea slumped to her knees, shaking with emotional exhaustion. Shock trembled through her, but somehow, she felt a peace that she had not experienced for a long time. The peace found a place in her heart that had been barren. She truly believed her father’s words and she knew life could go on in her world as well as his.

She heard her Mom call so she made her way to the bathroom to wash her tear-stained face. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror above the sink and smiled. She not only saw her her own features but the wonderful love of her father standing behind her. And as her Mom called once again, she thought she heard other voices as well.

“If you listen carefully, you can hear the angels……..sing.

Critique: I like the idea of Christmas being a time of spiritual reunion with those who have gone before, but this was a little too magical for my tastes. I’d probably put the phone call in a dream sequence and also have her dad reference Christmas and that we celebrate the birth of Christ, who will make their reunion in the future possible. Need a little more personality for Andrea and more time exploring the change that just happened. Also, I have no idea how old she is—and I need an indication of it. I’m guessing around 12?

What I liked best: Her box of memories.

Publication ready: No. It has potential, but it needs some work.