Extended Hiatus

Hi. Yes. I'm still alive. Both my personal and professional lives have had major upheaval lately. The red line went all the way to the end on this stress test (and they didn't even ask about some of the biggest stresses in my life).

I've spent the past month thinking I could get to a post "tomorrow". . . and you can see how well that's working out for me.

So, after much thought, I'm going to discontinue this blog for awhile. I'm leaving it up for browsing. And you never know, I may suddenly become inspired and decide to do the daily blog thing again. Who knows?

To wrap up a few things:

1. Yes. I will still publish the Book of Mormon stories anthology. I'm just way behind schedule. I can't give you a date but I'll make announcememts here. (Put me on your Google Reader and you'll be notified.)
   
   
2. I will still keep the LDS Fiction blog going. I'm a little behind on new releases right now, but will get it caught up soon. And yes, I will still be coordinating sponsors for prizes on that site.
   
   
3. LDS FICTION SPONSORS: Since June is half over, I'm shifting everyone back one month. June sponsors will be in July; July sponsors in August, etc.
   
   
4. LDSP SPONSORS: If you've signed up to sponsor the LDS Publisher site, you may transfer that sponsorship over to the LDS Fiction site; I will do as many as four books a month. You must email me at ldspublisher at gmail dot com if you want to do that. It will not be automatic. If I don't hear from you, I will assume you no longer want to sponsor.
   
   
5. CONTEST & EVENTS: I'll continue to post these as you send the information to me, but give me a full week's notice. I'll only be updating those sites once a week.
   
   
6. AUTHOR NETWORK: I'll continue to work on this one, as I have time. Don't expect a lot of action.
   

Writing Tip Tuesday: Possessive ['s]

Great to see someone else picking up on this! However, there's something else that bothers me more, and that's the mis-use of the 's. Because it's sweeping across English-speaking countries, it's even becoming prevalent here in Germany! There's a shop not too far from where I live that proudly proclaims "Beauty and Nail's." Ugh! And recently, I'm sure I saw this line on the internet somewhere: "Who want's to be a millionaire?" Holy flying cowpats!

Can you do a Writing Tip Tuesday about this? Help them, LDS Publisher, you're their only hope! ;-)

I have been guilty of adding or omitting the apostrophe—not because I don't know better but because I'm typing too fast or my software does an auto-fix and guesses wrong.

However, on signage? NO EXCUSE!

The 's shows possession.

Example: Melanie's comment was dead on.

If the word is plural, there is no apostrophe.

Example: Beauty and Nails.

There are some exceptions, for example, its vs it's. The possessive its has no apostrophe. The apostrophe is only used in the contraction for it is.

Example: Its problem is that it's confusing.

Query Critique: FHE Study Aids

Dear Acquisitions Editor,

Let’s Learn About the Temple, at approximately 13,500 words [This is not an accurate indication of length for this type of book. Tell me how long you think it should be with illustrations included.], is a Family Home Evening study aid targeting LDS families with children. With interesting facts about temples, from the ancient down to the modern day, Let’s Learn About the Temple contains 15 lessons to thoroughly explain why temples are vital to salvation, how to prepare to go to the temple, and the important role of temples in the past, present, and future. Each chapter is supplemented with suggested scriptures, stories, music, and activities designed to help reinforce each lesson objective.

Let’s Learn About the Temple is well written, attractively illustrated, and carefully researched. Six beta readers, consisting of both LDS parents and youth, assisted in providing thoughtful feedback to help refine the final draft. In addition, Let’s Learn About the Temple is unique. No other book of Family Home Evening lessons on the market is both youth and parent friendly, is as comprehensive in the scope of temple-related topics addressed, or provides multiple hands-on learning activities for families to use in each teaching situation. The plentiful illustrations also help to add an effective visual dimension no other study aid offers.

I am a graduate of Brigham Young University with a MA in communications and have worked professionally in the marketing industry for over ten years. As an author I currently have two other published non-fiction books on the market: XXXXX (2008) and XXXXX (2009). I intend the enclosed book as the first in a series of three, all of which follow the same general concept to teach specific gospel-related topics. [I'd like to know the other two topics.]

Please know how much I appreciate your time in reviewing the enclosed completed manuscript. [I'm assuming it includes the illustrations you mentioned?] I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Author Name
Contact Info


Uhmmm. Other than the comments made above, I can't find anything wrong with this query. If I published this type of book, I'd look at the enclosed mss.

There are two possible issues:

1. If you have two published non-fiction books already, why isn't the publisher of those two books picking this one up? I'm not saying you need to include that information in your query. Just be prepared with an answer if I like the book and I give you a call. You must be sure that no ROFR clause in a previous contract will cause a problem if I make an offer. I'm going to want it in writing.

2. Generally, including illustrations is not a great idea unless you are the illustrator. (Are you? IF so, say so in the query.) Is this a package deal where I have to accept or reject the mss and illustrations together? Or can I accept the mss and reject the illustrations? That needs to be made clear.

Illustrations can make or break a book. They'd better be really good if you're going to make them a part of the package. Also, purchasing the rights to illustrations may be an issue. Most of the time, I consider illustrations work for hire and pay accordingly—within my budget. If the illustrator is going to cost more than what I generally pay, or they're too hard to work with (artistic temperament can nix a deal), then I'm going to want to use my own illustrator.

INFF

Title of my WIP: Is This What Death Feels Like?

Ugh. Going back to bed.

BUT—wanted to let all of you know that I am being interviewed tomorrow, Friday, for Sarah M. Eden's I Need Friends Friday.

It was lotsa fun. Back when I was alive.

Skipping the Slush Pile

Yes, I know this is supposed to be Writing Tip Tuesday, but this weather swinging from cold to hot to cold again, has got me all messed up with a cold. So this week, you get what you get. And if I suddenly never show up again, it means I died of a sore throat...

Dear LDSPublisher,

Sorry I'm always peppering you with questions, but you're just so darn helpful. [thank you!]

At the LDStorymakers conference I pitched to an LDS Publisher. They were very excited about my book, insisted that there was a definite market for this kind of story and promised to take a look at my first five pages and let me know, either way. They have my email address.

Here's my question, not because I'm trying to be annoying, but because I am truly ignorant on this topic: How long of a wait am I looking at? I already sumitted to this Publisher (a different manuscript) and waited for 5 1/2 months before getting a response. In essence, doesn't the fact that I pitched directly to an editor mean I get to skip the basic slush pile?

For those of us that don't know the process, could you explain what kind of pile those pages are sitting in, waiting to be read?

Thank you so much for your time.

Yes, when you pitch to an agent—or even if you attend a conference where an agent presented—you get a bypass the slush pile free card. Your mss would be in the "Read First Chance I Get" pile.

As to how long it takes to get to your mss, it depends upon how much recovery time the agent needs after the conference (some agents do back-to-back conferences), the number of other manuscripts that came in from the conference, and what hit the fan while the agent was gone.

Even if the agent was very excited about your manuscript, even if it was his or her favorite pitch from the conference, their assistant won't know that. So while it's in the "Read Soon" pile, it may be #40 in the stack of manuscripts that were sent in immediately after the conference.

So, as always in this business, be patient.

TIPS FROM THE SLUSH PILE by Sara Megibow

Sara Megibow is an Associate Literary Agent with the Nelson Literary Agency. She writes a regular article in Kristen Nelson's monthly newsletter. If you don't get this newsletter, you should. You can sign up here.

The article below was from the last newsletter. I hope I don't get in trouble for reposting it here. But I thought it was very, very good—plus I'm telling you to get the newsletter.


This year I will be attending the Romance Writers Convention in Nashville (July) and World Fantasy in Columbus (October). Some other conferences may yet come up, but that's my schedule for right now. Amazingly, I am already preparing for RWA even though summer feels light years away. At these conferences, I hope to meet writers shopping for an agent and I've been thinking of ideas to help smooth that process.

1. If you have a completed work of fiction ready to submit, prepare a two sentence blurb that you can rattle off at any time (in the elevator, after a workshop, in a pitch session - whatever). Know your word count and your genre (and subgenre) and practice reciting these things out loud. (Example "FRANK is a completed historical romance at 100,000 words. It's about a hero who is driven to shun society at the impetus of a mysterious and sexy bar wench.") (I just made that up, no laughing please.)

2. Have access to your work. Who knows, I may be impressed with your pitch (the one you've just successfully rattled off to me while waiting in line for coffee). If I ask for 30 pages, it would be great if you could say - "heck, I have them right here on my iPhone - can I send them to you?" Have two versions ready to send electronically - the first 30 pages as one document (labeled with your name, the title of the work, genre, word count and your contact information including email address). Also, have the full manuscript ready to go (with same info attached at the beginning of the document). Save them and have them in microsoft word format (no pictures, no headshots, no weblinks) and at the very least have access to them in your hotel room.

3. Update your writer website and blog before the conference and include the addresses of those tools in anything that you submit. Yes, that means you should have a website and a blog - make sure they are professional, accurate and engaging. An update doesn't have to be fancy - just make sure you have a recent blog entry (example, "I'm off to RWA - looking forward to finding an agent for FRANK") and that your website mentions your writing (better yet, there is a blurb on your completed manuscript already loaded and accessible!)

I am looking forward to this year's conferences. I enjoy meeting and talking to writers and am actively looking for new talent to represent!
Sincerely,

Sara Megibow
Associate Literary Agent

Writing Tip Tuesday: Effect vs Affect

Affect and effect are two words that get mixed up a lot.

First, let's define the two words from Dictionary.com.

Affect is usually a verb, meaning:

• To act on; produce an effect or change in: Cold weather affected the crops.
  
  
• To impress the mind or move the feelings of: The music affected him deeply.
  
  
• To attack or infect, as a disease: Rheumatic fever can affect the heart.

Effect is usually a noun, meaning:

• Something that is produced by an agency or cause; result; consequence: Exposure to the sun had the effect of toughening his skin.
  
  
• The power to produce results; efficacy; force; validity; influence: His protest had no effect.
  
  
• A scientific law, hypothesis, or phenomenon: the photovoltaic effect.
  
  
• Advantage; avail: used her words to great effect in influencing the jury.
  
  
• The condition of being in full force or execution: a new regulation that goes into effect tomorrow.
  
  
• Something that produces a specific impression or supports a general design or intention: The lighting effects emphasized the harsh atmosphere of the drama.
  
  
• A particular impression: large windows that gave an effect of spaciousness.
  
  
• Production of a desired impression: spent lavishly on dinner just for effect.

Even with the definitions, sometimes it's hard to pick. Here are a few rules:

1. Use "affect" as a verb when you're talking about influence.

• Eating too many bon bons can affect your weight.
  
  
• Running into a werewolf was really affecting her mood.

2. Use the "effect" if you're talking about results or to describe something that was caused or brought about.

• The effect of eating an entire pound of bon bons was immediate and uncomfortable.
  
  
• I cannot effect change in my life without a huge bundle of cash.

3. Use "effect" whenever it is preceded by any of these words: a/an, and, any, into, no, the, take(n) (with or without an adverb).

• Meeting a unicorn always had a calming effect on her.
  
  
• The magic wand had an effect on the frog.
  
  
• It's all about cause and effect.
  
  
• The werewolf had no effect on her mood at all.
  
  
• The effect of the vampire bite was instantaneous.

Here is a quiz. See if you can get them all right.

May 2010 Prize Sponsors

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

Please take a moment to learn more about our wonderfully generous sponsors.

My Double Life by Janette Rallison


Her whole life, Alexia Garcia has been told that she looks just like pop star Kari Kingsley, and one day when Alexia’s photo filters through the Internet, she’s offered a job to be Kari’s double. This would seem like the opportunity of a lifetime, but Alexia’s mother has always warned her against celebrities.

Rebelliously, Alexia flies off to L.A. and gets immersed in a celebrity life. Not only does she have to get used to getting anything she wants, she romances the hottest lead singer on the charts, and finds out that her own father is a singing legend. Through it all, Alexia must stay true to herself, which is hard to do when you are pretending to be somebody else!

Janette Rallison is old. Don't ask how old, because it isn't polite. Let's just say she's older than she'd like to be and leave it at that.

Janette lives in Chandler, Arizona with her husband, five children and enough cats to classify her as "an eccentric cat lady." She did not do this on purpose. (The cats, that is; she had the children on purpose.) Every single one of the felines showed up on its own and refuses to leave. Not even the family's fearless little Westie dog can drive them off.

Since Janette has five children and deadlines to write books, she doesn't have much time left over for hobbies. But since this is the internet and you can't actually check up to see if anything on this site is true, let's just say she enjoys dancing, scuba diving, horse back riding and long talks with Orlando Bloom. (Well, I never said he answers back.)




Courting Miss Lancaster by Sarah M. Eden


Harry Windover adores blonde, green-eyed Athena Lancaster, but alas, a penniless man like himself has no hope of winning a young noblewoman's hand. To add insult to injury, Athena's brother-in-law and guardian, the Duke of Kielder, has asked Harry to assist Athena in finding the gentleman of her dreams. But the lovesick Harry is cunning as well: as the weeks pass, he introduces Athena to suitors who are horrifically boring, alarmingly attached to their mothers, downright rude, astoundingly self-absorbed, and utterly ridiculous.

Athena can't comprehend why she is having so little success meeting eligible and acceptable gentlemen. Indeed, her circle of admirers couldn't be less admirable--nothing like the loyal, gentle friend she's found in Harry. But how long can Harry's scheme be hidden before it is discovered? And what will Athena do when she uncovers Harry's deception?

Sarah M. Eden says of herself, "I'm not normal. I'm an author. I spend enormous amounts of time avoiding responsible things like cooking dinner and doing laundry and making vital phone calls. Instead, I fill my days with making up stories, talking to voices in my head, and laughing hysterically at my own wit. Like I said, I'm not normal."

Sarah self-published several regency romances, which are now out-of-print and awaiting republication by a publishing company. Her book, Seeking Persephone, was a 2008 Whitney Award Finalist. Her story is also the lead in LDS Publisher's Stolen Christmas and Other Stories of the Season.

CLICK HERE for details on how to win these books.

CLICK HERE for details on sponsoring the contest.

Diabetes Auction Starts Today!

Brenda Novak's auction starts today. We ended up gathering over 100 items for the auction.

"What?" you say? There are only 93 listed in the LDS Publisher category? That is because some of the authors/publishers felt their books would be a better fit in some of the other categories.

Also, the PTBs moved the Fablehaven set HERE. (Yes! The full set, signed by Brandon Mull!) It's a one day auction that begins and ends on May 13th. Guess they think that will be a hot one. (And of course, it will. I was thinking of bidding on it myself.)

We have both fiction and non-fiction books listed, as well as editing, dinner with a publisher, and a "Bypass the Slush Pile" from Valor Publishing. Go take a look and BID! (Bidding instructions are HERE.)

While you're there, browse around the other categories. There are some awesome items up for grabs!

Writing Prompt Friday

Oh. My. Goodness! Is it Friday already? I suppose I could blame my lack of posts on my Internet connection which has been giving me fits lately, but really, I think I just had too much fun at the Whitney Awards last weekend. It's taken me this long to recover.

So. We're back to Writing Prompt Friday. Here is your prompt:



Your MC is just back from the gym (or a jog) and is going to take a shower.

From this angle, everything in their bathroom looks perfectly normal.

But when they pull aside the shower curtain...


Write up to 1,000 words inspired by this photo/scenario.

If you post your story on your blog, feel free to leave a link in the comments section.

Whitney Winners!

The 2009 Whitneys have been awarded. The winners are...

Best Romance


Best Mystery/Suspense


Best Youth


Best Speculative


Best Historical


Best General


Best by New Author (Tie)


Novel of the Year

Congratulations everyone!

A big thank you to the Whitney committee and all those who make these awards possible.

Which Book Would You Pick as the 2009 Best General Fiction?

Last Whitney voting category today and the last chance to catch up on the past weeks to state your opinion before the winners are announced tomorrow.

The nominees for best GENERAL FICTION are:

• Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford
  
  
• No Going Back, by Jonathon Langford
  
  
• Gravity vs. The Girl, by Riley Noehren
  
  
• The Route, by Gale Sears
  
  
• Eyes Like Mine, by Julie Wright

In the comments section, state which book you think should win 2009 Best Romance and why.

Or, if you have another favorite that didn't make the list, you can go ahead and tell us about it too.

(And I'd love it if you'd repeat your comment over on the LDS Fiction post for that book.)

Getting Ready for the Whitneys

I would totally be writing a post for today except that I'm off to find a new dress for the Whitney Awards Banquet.

Which one do you think I should go with:






I thought it went without saying, but apparently not. ALL of these gowns will be altered to fit LDS standards—longer sleeves, higher neck, a little looser in certain areas...

A Case Where POD is a Good Option

Dear LDSPublisher,

I've been following your blog for several months now and have found your posts to be knowledgeable and very helpful.

I am hoping to get your insight on an idea for distributing a young adult novel. The novel is my way of sharing the basic beliefs of the LDS church in a story form. My goal in writing it was not to be famous or make money (although either is welcome), but to share my testimony with others. That being said, my thought is to create a website where I would post a chapter a week for anyone to read freely and also offer the option to purchase a hard copy of the full book from an on demand publishing site, like lulu.com.

Being in the publishing business, what are your thoughts on such an idea? Pro's/con's?

Are there legal issues to be considered?

I don't have a problem with that at all. I think it's a great idea, given your reasons for writing it and your stated goals—as long as you understand that if you do this, a traditional publisher will most likely not pick it up for publication in the future. (Although, I worked for a publisher once who did just that, but the author had to agree to take the posts down.)

You should still have it edited. This is a must if you're going to have it available for purchase.

You may also want to have it typeset and a cover design done by professionals—or not, depending on how much you want to invest and how important it is to have print sales. Personally, I think it should look as nice as books of similar content and style that you'd buy in the store.

Lulu.com is a good place. As is CreateSpace (Amazon). If you want to make ebook versions available, Smashwords is easy to work with. I've worked with all three of these companies and had good success with them.

There are a variety of other POD publishers out there. Just make sure you read their contracts carefully. Make sure that you retain the copyright and the ability to republish elsewhere at any time. Also, make sure their prices are competitive.

And good luck!

Writing Tip Tuesday: Different From

You've been picking up on some common errors I'm seeing a lot of lately and handling them well. How about clarifying "different from" and "different than" sometime.

I lot of people use them interchangeably and see no problem with it. I'm a nit-picker.

"Different from" is almost always the correct one because it is used for simple comparisons between two things—and that's a more common sentence structure.

Example: My book premise is different from the one that made the bestseller list.
(Comparing my book with another book.)

Example: My grammar preferences are different from a second grader's.
(Comparing my grammar prefs with someone else's.)


"Different than" is only acceptable when followed by a full clause.

Example: The publishing industry is different than it was twenty years ago.
(You would never say "...different from it was..." although you could say "...different from the way that it was..." but that's cumbersome.)

Clear as mud?

Summary vs Synopsis

Dear LDSPublisher,

For those of us attending Storymakers next week, could you please tell us whether an agent/publisher would rather look at a summary or synopsis, what the difference is, and why there is a difference? Also, how often have you seen someone's career take off at a writer's conference?

Thanks!

Some people use these terms interchangeably, but there really is a difference.

A summary is a short description of your book; think if it as a sales pitch or the blurb on the back of the book. It's 1-2 paragraphs, no longer than half a page. You hit the hook, the teasers, the main conflict. Ideally, it's what you would put in your query letter.

At a conference a few years ago, I heard an agent describe it as what you would say if you suddenly found yourself on an elevator with an agent or editor, who turns to you and asks, "What's your current work-in-progress?" You have until the end of the elevator ride to get them hooked.

A synopsis is longer and can be up to 2 pages. It's more like an abbreviated Cliffs Notes for your book. Write it in third person (even if your book is in first person), present tense, include your main characters, their motivations, conflict, major plot events, setting, themes, AND the resolution. (That means, if it's a murder mystery, you tell who dun it.)

The synopsis should be representative of your writing skill, so make it shine. It shouldn't read like a user manual or a dry encyclopedia entry. Punch it up with the same sensory based imagery, tone, and humor that occurs in your book.

(I tried to find some good examples of a synopsis online. Didn't have a lot of luck. Here are some but beware, they are racy.)

As to which I would rather see? The answer is BOTH. This is particularly true for a values based publisher, like here in the LDS market. Example: A novel about a teenage coming of age story. From the summary, I might be interested. But a synopsis would tell me that in chapter 17, she discovers she's pregnant and decides to have an abortion. That just wouldn't fly in my market and I'd like to know that before I'm 150 pages into the manuscript.

Careers taking off at a writer's conference? It could happen. I know several people who've gotten that toe in the door from a conference—submitting to an agent that spoke at the conference, winning an award at the conference which got them a "bypass the slush pile free" card, and signing up for an actual pitch sessions. Readers—do you have any success stories you want to share?

Which Book Would You Pick as the 2009 Best Historical Fiction?

Another Friday — another chance to state your opinion on which book YOU think should win a Whitney on April 24th.

The nominees for best HISTORICAL are:

• Tribunal, by Sandra Grey
  
  
• The Undaunted, by Gerald Lund
  
  
• Alma, by H.B. Moore
  
  
• The Last Waltz, by G.G. Vandagriff
  
  
• In the Company of Angels, by Dave Wolverton

In the comments section, state which book you think should win 2009 Best Historical and why.

Or, if you have another favorite that didn't make the list, you can go ahead and tell us about it too.

(And I'd love it if you'd repeat your comment over on the LDS Fiction post for that book.)

Is the Query Still Important?

From the comments on this post:

Question, though: obviously we're still going to want to include a query to hook the editor/slushpile reader, but most LDS publishers accept unsolicited manuscripts. Do you think getting the query letter perfect [is] less important than when the query is the only thing the agent/editor has?

No.

The query is still your first contact with the editor—and first impressions are a big deal. Therefore, your query (with or without accompanying manuscript) is still very important.

Real life example: My assistant reads all queries first. Good queries = manuscript goes into my Read Now pile. Bad queries = manuscript goes into my Read When I Have Time pile.

Grammar is a Non-Issue. NOT!

My grammar skills aren't horrible but they aren't great either. How much will this hurt me when submitting something to an LDS Publishing House? I had a teacher once say grammar is for your agent and editor...don't worry about it. How true is that?

P.S. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the contest critiques. Any idea how long until we get them? I'm probably pestering/annoying you. Sorry.

That is so totally NOT true!

When you're writing your story, don't worry about the grammar. Get the meat of the story down. Focus on plot, characters, setting, pacing, sensory imagery, etc.

But before you submit, you MUST go back through and fix the grammar mistakes.

A million years ago, editors and agents were more willing to look at manuscripts that needed heavier clean-up. The world moved at a slower pace. There were fewer submissions so when they got a good story, editors and agents were willing to work with it.

That is no longer the case. With the advent of word processors, the relative ease of printing, the constant consumer demand for new and more books, the editor's job has changed. Yes, they still do clean-up work, but they have to do it fast. The cleaner the manuscript is to begin with, the less time (money) it takes to edit, the more likely it will be accepted.

If you know your grammar needs help, find someone to help you clean it up before you submit.

(Contest critiques—bad timing on my part. I forgot I had to read Whitneys and that I'd committed to another project in March. Working on them now.)

Writing Tip Tuesday: It's "Could Have"!

I was reading a partial the other day and the author used this sentence:

It could of been different.

Uhhnnn. (That's the sound of the incorrect buzzer going off.)

"Could of" is wrong, wrong, wrong. As is, "would of" and "should of."

My guess is this mistake originated from the contractions "could've/would've/should've" which sound like "could of/would of/should of" when spoken aloud.

• Correct: It could have been different.
  
  
• Correct: I would have eaten the pie but I was too full.
  
  
• Correct: You should have gone to the movie with us.

Query Critique: Romantic Suspense

Dear Editor,

Last Resort [italicize or all caps book titles**] is a complete [of course it is], 85,000 word, contemporary novel targeted for the LDS market. [What age? What genre?] The exact setting of the book is never revealed, though much of the inspiration comes from the small communities of rural Northern Arizona. [Why not reveal the setting? This is an odd statement to make.]

Meg Connolly is stuck. It has always been her plan to follow in her deceased father’s footsteps and attend law school at Stanford University. Unfortunately, upon her graduation from Arizona State University her application has been rejected. Left with no other options, she ends up taking a job teaching high school history in the small town of Green Hills [Isn't this the setting?] as a way to pad her resume and reapply to Stanford the next year. [Watch out for passive voice. If it's in your query, it's probably all through your book. Not good.]

Fully expecting to tediously bide her time, Meg is surprised that her new situation is not as bad as she imagined. As the months pass, she finds herself becoming increasingly attached to her job, new friends and, especially, a landscaper she begins to date named Sean Taylor. Finally, her long awaited acceptance letter arrives and she must decide between the life she has always had planned, or the one that has fallen into her lap.

More complications arise when she must come to terms with tension in her family life and she stumbles onto a stolen cache of money from a string of bank robberies in the area. The criminals responsible for the heists remain at large and a few months later, the same ruthless men take the Green Hills High School hostage. When the dust settles, it becomes apparent that someone on the school’s staff has helped the crooks, and Meg is the FBI’s number one suspect. [THIS is the main part of the story, or it should be, with the romance, teaching and life changes secondary. Lead with this. It's the best paragraph of the letter.]

I am a graduate of Arizona State University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education. I completed my student teaching in 8th grade Language Arts and I taught 8th grade Social Studies. I was also a writing tutor in college and have been a substitute teacher. [None of this matters.]

If you are interested, I would be glad to send you a manuscript to be considered for publication. I have enclosed a SASE [I probably see it. You don't need you to tell me it's there. Save your words for more info on the book.] and eagerly await your response. Thank you for your time.

Based on the description, I'm guessing this is a romantic suspense. You need to know your genres and be able to tell me which one it falls in. It would also help if you could tell me what it's similar to—is your style more like Betsy Brannon Green's Murder by the Book, sort of light-hearted and fun; or Stephanie Black with lots of twists and turns to the plot; or Traci Hunter Abramson's Royal Target where the romance is as strong (or stronger) than the suspense; or like Julie Coulter Bellon with heavier FBI-type intrigue? This is going to help me place it. As it is, I can't really tell.

At this point, I'd probably pass. Punch up the description of your book. Make it more exciting, like what would go on the back cover. While lacking some plot details (because I don't know your book) the letter below would be adequate.


Meg Connolly's dream is to follow her deceased father's footsteps and attend law school at Stanford University. Rejected once, she takes a job teaching history at the high school in Green Hills, Arizona to pad her resume and waits to reapply to Stanford the next year.

Fully expecting to tediously bide her time in this small town, Meg stumbles onto a stolen cache of money from a string of bank robberies in the area. The criminals responsible for the heists remain at large and a few months later, the same ruthless men take the Green Hills High School hostage. When the dust settles, it becomes apparent that someone on the school’s staff has helped the crooks, and Meg is the FBI’s number one suspect.

If that's not enough complication, Meg must come to terms with tension in her family life. She also finds herself increasingly attached to her job and to her new friends, especially Sean Taylor, landscaper extraordinaire.

Finally, Meg's long awaited acceptance letter arrives and she must decide between the life she had planned and the one that has fallen into her lap—assuming she doesn't end up in prison!

I've based Meg's classroom scenes upon my own experience as an 8th grade Social Studies teacher and modeled the fictional town of Green Hills, AZ after several small rural towns near Arizona State, where I received my Bachelor's degree.

At 85,000 words, Last Resort is a contemporary romantic suspense for LDS adults, particularly women. Readers who enjoyed Traci Hunter Abramson's Royal Target will also enjoy Last Resort, which has a similar mix of romance and suspense (or whatever is true about your book).

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Updated 12:15 P.M.
**Whether you use initial caps, all caps, italics or quotes is NOT a deal breaker in a query letter. I prefer italics (on print submissions) or all caps (electronic submissions). (Actually, now that I really think about it, the trend seems to be going to all caps—and I'm totally fine with that.)

But don't take my word for it. Go to Pub Rants, a blog by Kristen Nelson (agent), and you can read several successful query letters with her comments about them. Some of them used initial caps, some used all caps. (BTW, she sold Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. You can read his query HERE.)

Which Book Would You Pick as the 2009 Speculative Fiction?

Another Friday — another chance to state your opinion on which book YOU think should win a Whitney on April 24th.

The nominees for best SPECULATIVE FICTION are:

• Servant of a Dark God, by John Brown
  
  
• The Maze Runner, by James Dashner
  
  
• Wings, by Aprilynne Pike
  
  
• Warbreaker, by Brandon Sanderson
  
  
• I Am Not A Serial Killer, by Dan Wells

In the comments section, state which book you think should win 2009 Best Speculative Fiction and why.

Or, if you have another favorite that didn't make the list, you can go ahead and tell us about it too.

(And I'd love it if you'd repeat your comment over on the LDS Fiction post for that book.)

Those Dratted Publishers!

Dear All Knowing One,

A quick question; I finally signed my first book contract. Aaahh!! (I got the 10% net on the first 5000, BTW.) I'm just wondering; I signed it on the 19th of February with an intended date of publication of on or before April 30, 2010, and got the e-file of the manuscript to them the next day. However, since then I've heard nothing from the publisher. About every ten days I've sent a short e-mail asking if they need anything from me, but haven't even gotten a reply. Doesn't it at least need to go to an editor? Can they really print a book in six weeks? What should I be doing here? I feel an urgency that they obviously don't, but I don't want to be obnoxious either.

Okay, so that wasn't a quick question. Sorry.

Also, I've been thinking of a way to repay you for your willingness to help without blowing your anonymity. I came up with an idea to leave tickets (in the name of LDS publisher) to something you enjoy at a will-call desk somewhere. Any favorites? Or other ideas? Thanks for you wisdom and great attitude.

Ahhh. The travails of publishing. I feel your pain.

Okay, here's the thing. Almost no one hits their original release date—unless the book is a highly publicized and anticipated release. It's much more likely that your release date will be pushed back at least once. Hope that it's only by a few weeks. I know some books that are over a year behind their original schedule. (This happens in all markets—national and LDS.)

Upon submission of your completed manuscript, it should go to editing. Then it should come back to you for rewrites. Then it goes to typesetting. Then you see "bluelines proofs" (which aren't really bluelines anymore but some of us old-schoolers still call them that). Then you send back final corrections. Then it goes to press. Then, depending on how they're printed and bound, it could be anywhere from 1 to 6 weeks (longer if they go overseas for printing).

That's how it's supposed to work. Yes, it can be done in six weeks, but usually it takes longer because they're probably working on multiple projects.

The fact that you're going to most likely miss your original release date doesn't bother me. It happens. What does bother me is that they aren't responding to your emails. This could be for any number of reasons—like vacation, sick days, reassignment of jobs within the company. Or maybe they aren't getting your emails or you aren't getting theirs. That can happen sometimes too. (If they're just ignoring you, that is unprofessional, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt for now).

If by the time you read this (your email to me must have gotten lost over China because even though you sent it three weeks ago, I'm just now seeing it...) you've still had no response to your emails, I'd call them. (Yes, I know I say never call your publisher, but this is one of the FEW situations where it's okay.) Tell them you're concerned because your release date is fast approaching and you haven't heard from them so you just wanted to make sure they were getting your emails.

And as for the tickets? The thought is wonderful but I'd be too paranoid to go pick them up. But you can always send me a comp copy of your book when it does come out. I lurve books.

Writing Tip Tuesday: Semi-Colons

I have a question for your blog. If this has been answered before, then just ignore it. If not:

How do you feel about the use of semi-colons in fiction, and how and when do you think they should be used?

Personally, I love semi-colons. They are so cute! (I could have sworn I'd talked about them before but couldn't find it using the Search feature...)

I hate reading about semi-colons (and other grammatical stuff) because it's so darn boring! And confusing. (Unless you're a word nerd.) So I'll try to make this easy.

The most general and widely applicable rule for semi-colons is: Use a semi-colon when you need a pause that's stronger than a comma, but not as strong as a period.

The second rule for semi-colons is: Don't use so many that they distract the reader with their cuteness.

There are a few other rules, too. Use a semi-colon when:

1. Connecting two independent clauses (phrases that could be stand alone sentences) into one long sentence, without using a conjunction. (This is the most common usage, and IMHO, the only way it should be used in fiction.)
   
   
   Example: I looked into the vampire's cold, black eyes; I was doomed.
   
   
   
   
2. Connecting two independent clauses into one long sentence, while using a conjunction. This is only done when one or both of the independent clauses is really long or uses a lot of commas. (Most of the time, IMHO, it's better to go ahead and make it two sentences.)
   
   Example: The vampire loved the flavor of types A-positive, B-positive, and O-positive blood; but AB-negative always gave him a stomach ache.
   
   
   
3. When a sentence contains a long and wordy list. (Use this only in non-fiction, scholarly works. It's just too cumbersome in fiction.) (It's also telling, not showing.)
   
   Example: The vampire had lived under many identities during his six hundred plus years—a farmer in the 1600s, a lesser prince in the 1700s, a ship's captain in the 1800s, a merchant marine in the early 1900s; most recently, he was posing as a dot com millionaire and that suited him just fine.

There are a few other times when using a semi-colon is acceptable, but they're awkward and I don't recommend using them that way in fiction. If you really want to know ALL the details of the semi-colon, do some research; look it up on Google.

Query Critique: Romantic Comedy (?)

Dear Acquisitions Editor, [or in this case, Dear LDS Publisher,]

When young [How old is he? This makes it sound like he's a boy, but he's going to college. It's better to be specific.] Chris Kerry leaves his Texas home and his checkered past [? better to be specific, drug-riddled? convicted felon?] to attend the University of Utah , he does so against the wishes of his Aunt Jean, who has been a mother to him since he was orphaned at the age of three. Chris is less interested in his aunt’s harsh views on Mormonism and more interested in a change of scenery and starting his own life. He doesn’t expect to find himself homeless on his first day in Salt Lake City, or the twists of fate that make two girls from Idaho his best friends. The job he finds in a downtown tuxedo shop barely pays the rent, but the outlandish cast of co-workers fills his days with both humor and frustration. Chris is in Utah to get an education. He’s certainly not looking for love, religion or shocking revelations about his past, but all three find him [the part that intrigued me most] in this funny, moving novel that illuminates how we recognize truth, how one young man finds a home and a heritage in the most unlikely place, and how love and friendship change everything.

The Rogue Shop is my first novel and the attached manuscript is complete at 106,000 words [a tad long for a debut YA novel, but okay for an adult novel]. Several drafts have been carefully revised with thoughtful feedback from an alpha reader group including both genders and a wide age range. [good for you!] This humorous romance [this was a surprise; there are not enough clues in the previous paragraph for me to recognize it as a romantic comedy—I was thinking a coming of age, even though he's a little old for that (?)] is targeted at the LDS Young Adult (18-30) readership. [Young Adult is not 18 to 30; YA is 12 to 18, give or take a few years. 18+ is Adult. This tells me you're not sure who your reader is.]

I am a graduate of the University of Utah with a BA in English Literature. In the years since graduation I have established a successful career in sales and business management in the Salt Lake City area, but with this effort I return to my passion for fiction. Upon publication I intend to take an active role in promoting and marketing my work in close partnership with my publisher [good; but that is assumed]. My experience in speaking and teaching in a business environment is wide and varied, and I look forward to taking my show on the road and selling my work with enthusiasm [good; the fact that you have skills and experience meeting with the public will help].

I appreciate the time you invest in considering my submission and gratefully await your reply [good].


Romantic comedies sell well, so that's a plus. Your book is unusual, in that it's a romantic comedy from a guy's perspective. (They exist, but aren't common.) But I'm not sure, based on your first paragraph, if your book truly is a romantic comedy. If it is, play up those points. If it's not, you need to recategorize it. This isn't a horrible query, but it doesn't immediately place the book into a sales category for me. Also, the personality of the book doesn't really shine through. It would go in my "Maybe" stack.

ALSO, read Jordan's very, very good comments.

Which Book Would You Pick as the 2009 Best Youth Fiction?

Another Friday — another chance to state your opinion on which book YOU think should win a Whitney on April 24th.

The nominees for best YOUTH FICTION are:

• Princess of the Midnight Ball, by Jessica Day George
  
  
• Fablehaven IV: Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary, by Brandon Mull
  
  
• My Fair Godmother, by Janette Rallison
  
  
• Bright Blue Miracle, by Becca Wilhite
  
  
• The Chosen One, by Carol Lynch Williams

In the comments section, state which book you think should win 2009 Best Youth Fiction and why.

Or, if you have another favorite that didn't make the list, you can go ahead and tell us about it too.

(And I'd love it if you'd repeat your comment over on the LDS Fiction post for that book.)

[If you're on the Whitney Academy, your vote is due NOW!]

April 2010 Prize Sponsors

Last month's prize winners announced HERE.

Please take a moment to learn more about our wonderfully generous sponsors.


Wrong Number by Rachelle J. Christensen


“I think you have the wrong number.”

When Aubree Stewart answers her cell phone on the way to work one day, she isn’t prepared for her life to change. Someone dialed a wrong number, a simple mistake. But the call changes everything when Aubree overhears information about the murder of a government official. Now she must run for her life as the caller tries to eliminate her.

Aubree is placed in the witness protection program, but when the FBI’s protection fails, she heads out on her own. She soon realizes she’ll never stop running until she can solve the mystery behind the wrong number. Unable to trust anyone but herself, she’s cautious about accepting the help of a Park Ranger named Wyatt Erickson. As she struggles to keep herself hidden from the enemy, she finds it harder to protect her heart.



Rachelle J. Christensen was born and raised in a small farming town in Idaho. She says of herself, "I’m a dirt between the toes, irrigation boot-wearing, ponytail flipping in the wind as I drive the 4-wheeler FARM girl all the way!"

Currently living in Utah County, Rachelle and her husband, Steve, have three wonderful kids–2 girls and one boy. She graduated from Utah State University.

In addition to writing, Rachelle loves to read, run, crochet and knit, play volleyball, sing, play the piano, and cook.

Rachelle's next book, Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage for Latter-day Saints, will be released in May 2010.





My Ridiculous Romantic Obsessions by Becca Wilhite


A perfect blend of wit, comedy, suspense, and, of course, romance.

This is NOT your typical romance novel.

Sarah Howard’s first year at the university is everything and nothing she expected—especially when a very cute boy named Ben in her Art History class starts to show interest in her.

Sarah feels like she’s an average, normal, everyday girl. So, when Ben (to whom she secretly refers as Adonis because she thinks he could be a Greek god) begins to take interest in her, Sarah is in denial. For one thing, last year she was deeply crushed and humiliated by “Jesse James”—a guy who she thought liked her. She’s determined not to get burned again. But in her heart of hearts, what she really wants is a Jane Austen kind of romance.

Ridiculous, right? That kind of romance doesn’t exist anymore . . . or does it? Sarah is smart and fun to be around and even pretty, despite her Medusa-like red curls. She even plays the guitar. (So does Ben!) Yes, Sarah is everything Ben has wanted. He’s crazy for her, but Sarah is just not getting it. She’s playing hard to get, and if she’s not careful, she’s going to lose a real “hot” gentleman—her 21st-century Mr. Darcy.


Becca Wilhite says: I'm a writer, and a reader, but mostly a family girl. I have a near-perfect husband and four above-average kids.

Kids literature is my favorite. I have a published novel, "Bright Blue Miracle" written for the "clean teen" market. It's a family story - about step-twins. (What? You've never heard that word? Possibly because I recently made it up.)

I love reading great books. Even though all my kids can read, we still read aloud together, because we think it's fun. And helpful, and it means we always have things to talk about.


CLICK HERE for details on how to win these books.

CLICK HERE for details on sponsoring the contest.

Writing Tip Tuesday: Handling S~x

I want my book to be appropriate for my potential readers, but my main character is having a problem with a person who is s~xually harassing her. It is driving me crazy trying to figure out how to hint that this problem is happening without it sounding either prudish or too loose with my language. I really like how you handled the swearing situation when it comes to writing and being LDS. PLEASE HELP.

Dealing with s~xual situations in an LDS market is like walking a tightrope. We all have different comfort zones. Personally, I can handle it if characters go into the bedroom and close the door, but I don't want to watch. As for s~xual violence—and I include harassment in that category—I need to know what's going on, but subtle is better.

One of the best ways I've seen this handled is in Josi Kilpack's book, Sheep's Clothing, about an Internet predator who kidnaps a teenage girl. Josi writes, "The first time he touched her..." That's all I needed to know.

Keep in mind that if you're writing the scene in real time with sensory details, it's going to draw the reader in, which will be offensive to some readers. If you have your character tell someone about the it, it allows for some distance between the reader and the event. This is one case where, in my opinion, telling is better than showing.

One thing I do when I'm going through a book that deals with possibly offensive material is to imagine my mother reading it. She's your average LDS Relief Society sister and the target audience for most of the novels I work with. If I think she'd be offended and put it down, I lighten it up.

My best advice is to write your scenes the way you feel it best serves your story. If it's too harsh, your publisher will let you know.

Readers, authors: How do you handle these types of situations? What advice to you have?

Query Critique: YA Teen Pregnancy

Dear Deseret Book, [it would be better if you addressed it to a specific person but if you don't know the person's name, go with Acquisitions Editor; this is a minor point.]

My 92,000-word novel, XXXX, is a message-driven Young Adult romance in the vein of Jack Weyland and Kay Lynn Mangum that depicts the emotional consequences of sexual assault on a teenage girl and those who love her. [good first paragraph; has all the vital info—length, genre, author styles to compare it to; and a short description of the plot. The only question I have is how much of a romance is it really going to be?]

From the moment she arrives in small-town Virginia, Emily Page is attracted to the introverted Joshua Cade. They fall in love and become the ideal high school sweethearts, but everything changes the night that Josh’s basketball team wins the state championship—Emily is brutalized that same night by Drew Fuller, who threatens to hurt Josh if she tells anyone what happened. [needs a paragraph break here] Traumatized, Emily tries to cover up the incident but her world comes crashing down when she realizes she is pregnant. Knowing that she won't be able to hide the pregnancy, Emily breaks Josh’s heart and leaves without telling him why. She moves to Northern Virginia to live with her brother and sister-in-law who are recent converts to the church [LDS Church]. There she is introduced to the only thing that can heal her heart —the gospel of Jesus Christ. Following her heart and overcoming her fears, she places her baby for adoption through LDS Family Services. The story concludes when Emily returns to her hometown to testify against Drew. In the courtroom, Emily finds herself unexpectedly face-to-face with Josh, the one person she has been trying to protect with her silence. [good description of content]

XXX portrays Emily’s adoption experience in an uplifting, healing manner. Many young girls keep babies born out of wedlock out of a desperate need to love and be loved. I feel confident that Emily’s example of choosing adoption will show them that having the faith to give their baby up to a good LDS home is sometimes the most loving decision. [Good first sentence; that's what I want to know about a story like this. However, it goes a little off point after that because most girls who have to make this decision weren't assaulted. Perhaps an acknowledgment of that along the lines of: Although most LDS young women who find themselves pregnant and unmarried are not victims of assault, I feel confident that Emily's example ...]

I would be proud to be a part of the Deseret Book tradition of offering thought-provoking, testimony affirming and heartfelt stories. I hope you agree that this is the right place for a story as important as Emily’s. Per Jamie Barrett’s instructions, I have included three chapters and a preface to each; [I don't know what this means. Why do each of your chapters need a preface?] the full manuscript is ready for review upon your request. I look forward to hearing your response. [Good; this tells me you understand the DB's mission and also that the book is finished. Also, I think it's always a good thing to identify the people whose names you drop, for example: Per your assistant, Jamie Barrett's instructions... or whatever.]

Sincerely,
Name
Full Mailing Address
Phone
E-mail [I'd get another email account with a more professional sounding address, like JaneDoe@yahoo.com]


Overall, a solid query. Not hugely gripping, but given the content of the book, I wouldn't expect it to be. It contains all the info I need to make a decision on whether or not to read more—and yes, I would read your chapters. If they were good and I was looking for a book that dealt with this topic, I'd ask for more. If I already had a recent release or one in the works on this topic, I'd pass.

Which Book Would You Pick as the 2009 Best Mystery/Suspense

Another Friday — another chance to state your opinion on which book YOU think should win a Whitney on April 24th

[Once again, yes, I am part of the Whitney Academy and will be casting my vote. And no, your opinion here, no matter how cleverly worded, will not sway my vote.]

The finalists for MYSTERY/SUSPENSE are :

• Lockdown, by Traci Hunter Abramson
  
  
• Methods of Madness, by Stephanie Black
  
  
• Murder by the Book, by Betsy Brannon Green
  
  
• Lemon Tart, by Josi Kilpack
  
  
• Altered State, by Gregg Luke

In the comments section, state which book you think should win 2009 Best Mystery/Suspense and why.

Or, if you have another favorite that didn't make the list, you can go ahead and tell us about it too.

(And I'd love it if you'd repeat your comment over on the LDS Fiction post for that book.)