I'm starting the paragraph critiques. I will not be doing rewrites. The comments I make are what I'd put in the margin notes if I received this as a submission. I will be frank and pull no punches. I will also tell you if I would ask for more, based upon this paragraph submission. My intent is to show you where you need to strengthen your writing so that it's ready for publication. In my opinion.
To get to some of the earlier submissions, click on the September archive link and it will show them all.