Paragraph Critiques

Dear LDSP,

Are those paragraph rewrites in the comments trail from you? If so, why did you post them anonymously?

No. Those are not me. I've received permission from most of the contest submitters to do a critique of their paragraph and I will be doing that over the next several days. My critiques will be posted within and at the end of the actual paragraphs, not in the comments trail. And they will be in red.

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