10/23/07

Scare-Your-Pants-Off #15

Emi prayed it was only the pulse of dense rain against her bedroom window that had wakened her. That the noise, the whispered slide of someone opening the bureau in her mother’s bedroom, wasn’t real. But she knew, knew with all the instant terror that coursed through her veins, it was real. And when she saw a beam of light flash across the wall just outside her doorway, she guessed what it was. A thief.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't we assume it was her mother, if the sound came from her mother's bedroom?

LDS Publisher said...

Good descriptions. I liked "Emi prayed it was only the pulse of dense rain against her bedroom window that had wakened her."

But again, while frightening, it's not horror.

You have room to expand on this. You could pack in more imagery and info and still call it one paragraph. Go into a little more depth. Don't be in such a hurry to get to the punch line. Tease us a little more.