10/22/07

Scare-Your-Pants-Off #4

Horror, LDS Style

The perspiration dripped down the back of her neck. Her heart beat wildly, thundering in her ears and pounding in her head. Her husband sat in a chair next to her, motionless. He said nothing. Had the shock rendered him speechless? Her own distress paralyzed her. Fear wrapped itself so tightly around her, she struggled for breath. How could this happen? It was the worst of her nightmares. She wondered if she could rush to the door fast enough and evaporate into the night. Again, the man across from her said, “Sister Jones, would you accept the call to serve as Relief Society President?”

4 comments:

Josi said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Love it.

~paulette said...

oh funny...
i second josi's comments LOL

T. Lynn said...

I HAVE to vote for this one!

It's a rare writer who can portray true horror with real humor.

LDS Publisher said...

That was pretty funny. I like things that start taking you one direction, then zing you at the end. You've got some good sensory description, but I'd like to see a little more imagery to set the mood.

Also, this paragraph is complete by itself. Where would the story go from here? I don't think you'd be able to sustain the "horror" of this event throughout a longer story, but you did get us going.

Thanks for the chuckle.